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Thread: Escaping Death.

  1. #1
    . . . Tragedian.'s Avatar
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    Escaping Death.

    As I lay there awake…I hear voices
    There talking about limited choices
    The wrong move…could end it all
    But we most move quickly; don’t stall
    I want to ask what is going on….
    As I try to speak…my voice is gone
    I’m worried…even a tinny bit scared
    All this commotion…I can not bare
    Unprepared…I try to move and speak
    Once again my voice and body is weak
    Hear the voice scream “nurse we’re losing him”
    Suddenly my eyes start to shut and it all goes dim


    I see the light…is this the one I’m suppose to run to
    My time is up…no please let this be done its untrue
    As I try to keep strong…I have done nothing wrong
    I can’t leave now…earth is where I know I belong
    The run is long…but yet I’m going to try and make it
    I feel my heart beating…I know this isn’t fake shit…
    Suddenly I hear the voices louder and more clear
    Then the doctor scream nurse we brought him back here
    I’m having a hard time thinking I still have my breath
    After that long run of trying to escape from death…


    The End.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...24#post5218924
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...33#post5218933
    Last edited by Tragedian.; October 18th, 2006 at 04:08 PM
    Empire

  2. #2
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    had a few typos but decent peace good structure unique place to put a pic
    pretty good topic, not too many multis,good supesion at the line i see the light is this one i'm supposed to run to vocab could have been better but still a decent piece stay up

    AI

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  3. #3
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    This piece was filled with great imagery. The structure was different and the pic's position was unusuall so that's gained you extra points. The topic was meh..but you worked it to it's fullest potential..Overall good shit. keep at it.


    Battles I need closed

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  4. #4
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