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Thread: A fearless Warrior

  1. #1
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    A fearless Warrior


    “The Fearless Warrior”

    As he faced his death, Heart and mind filled with Stress
    No matter is the tactics were less, He knew he had to do his best
    Mind captured, he should surrender but he’s not a coward
    He was puzzled; not sure so he took some steps backwards
    Just as he closed his eyes; “Charge” was yelled frantically
    Hearts of a broken soul as he thought;” Bombs could really land on me”
    I started shooting a lot, I felt like a destroyer but I wasn’t
    The dreadful sight cant be pleasant, Everything came so sudden
    Did I Black out? My visions were terrible with beloved anger
    My wife: Wow I miss her, I fault fearless, death was not a stranger
    The captain never lied, he promised I wouldn’t die
    As much as I tried, every warrior who passed I would cry
    Half of us are dead the tension causes a decrease in trust
    Screaming and dust, this must be a dream cause it’s so envious
    “Don’t fall”, my captain yelled again, but as we remained to win
    Impossible, our enemy battle jets found a way to come in
    So we aimed at the sky in order to stop them, Its now a must!
    But what we don’t realize was the ground army was attacking us
    “Fall back”, said our captains; They are almost gone: Let em die in peace
    I went all out killing all the enemy until there numbers started to decrease
    “Now go all out” I yelled we attacked full our fantasy has begun
    And 45 minutes later we have finally won


    Two piece max on the front page; closing the one with the least responces.

    - Atty
    Last edited by Atti; December 22nd, 2006 at 05:01 PM
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  2. #2
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Last edited by Spoken; October 15th, 2006 at 02:56 AM
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  3. #3
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Feed.
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  4. #4
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Up...
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  5. #5
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Dont sleep yal..Come on now
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  7. #7
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    feed plz
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  8. #8
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    yeah sup fucka ./ fuck a a war .ha
    the overall write was tite aand in a readable form.or how else you spell it).............
    had some gppd rhy mes here and there.ehich showed elevation skills..........
    emotion seemed to be there and carried well....... multies was decent......
    imagery was there.......
    /Good/
    flow was there.............on point...........
    wasnt quite deeo enough in its concept for my liking tho/just me i guess being deeper than thou..formaT WAS TITE.BUT I GUESS A LITTLE BORING..NOT ALTOGETHER.DONT GET ME WRONG I'VE WROTE LIKE THISD ON MANY OCCASSIONS ON MY STAGES OF WROTING .SO IM SAYING THIS SHIT WAS TITE ALL THE SAME.BUT NEEDED SOME MORE Variation and excitement added



    check this shit out -
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=315291

    1




    .
    Last edited by NiNjah Red; November 5th, 2006 at 06:29 PM

  9. #9
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    Nice OM drop here....imagery was well displayed as the story kept me reading...hmmm this is the first OM i've read from you so you suprised me because i didnt think it was going to be anything to read....the way you wrote it was very urgent...like when i read it i felt like i was at war with them ya know...that's good stuff....with a few minor workouts this piece could've been better but it was dope none the less...good drop...
    if you would plz vote on my crew battle in my sig plz...appreciate it...

  10. #10
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: A fearless Warrior

    up.....
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