Pearly Gates OF Judgement Day

[NSP]

I've doused the ring off fire, but im no charley pride
Sum would say im blastphamus, others would deny
And although those pearly gates, refuse me the way
No one has the right, to deny me on judgement day

This canvas see's no end, the story's just begun
A young flame buring forcefully, in the naked sun
The preachers say im devil owned, the glutens only seed
The sorry facts of life tells, when a humans cut he bleeds
I traveled over mountains, mastered the stormiest sea's
But what waited for me at the crossroads
no fortune teller could see

No innocence obeyed, god forbid the truth
No youngster should admire what a criminal does in youth
Ive made a thousand misake, fortunes ive mislaid
Opportunites i questions, answers i betrayed
As men and women are gifted life, none are gaurenteed
We take for granted all we have, even that we do not need
There at the crossroads, i met a man who prayed
welcomed me with open arms like i was the mesire he craved
The old man took out his fiddle, curested it in his hands
played a joyful tune, that carried across the lands
A sound like no other, this mans talents raw
Endured the love of music, and made it so much more
He said words have no end, even the ones u do not say
Then thanked me for my time, to listen to an old man play
And as he turned to past, his words left a trace,
He said at the gardens of eden, my soul has a place

I do not judge the undefined, or questions its rights
no man has the right, to control anothers life
W'ere all but puppets, on a crowded stage
writing our life story, on an endless blank page,

This writers mind is drifting, places down the pen
left my soul to wilter, my storys at an end
The angel descended from heaven, to lead me the way
I walked the steps to judgement day, left me at the gate

No man has the right, to control anothers life
but every many has the right, to try and survive

so no metter the consequnce, my dreams will never die
and if at the pearly gates im barred,
theses eyes will never cry

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...53#post5207253
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post5207259

[NSP]

bump

[NSP]

bump

[NSP]

bump'n this shit

[Dyl]

Well I have never read anything from you but I must say that I am impressed with what I have seen.Of coarse you could do a lot better but this is not bad.You don't seem to be a complete newb at all and that is good.Your descriptive writing was your strength here and you displayed it very well.Ok, yes you could have done better but i'm sure you will as days pass.Be a little bit more creative too, go crazy with your piece and make it your own.Too many pieces like this have been writtin so try to make it original.ANyway good job and keep elevating

-Dyl