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Thread: A Death of a Nation - The Truth Collab

  1. #1
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    A Death of a Nation - The Truth Collab

    A Death of a Nation
    By: The Truth ft. Po'It


    Hints of war are sprinkled
    over the meat of America
    just to add a little zest to
    this world.

    Wars of words are being raged;
    listen closely to hear the screams
    of anger pierce through the
    two-way mirror of reality
    and one's dream.

    A symphony is rehearsing the
    opening movement of “World
    War III”; the government is
    directing with an iron first and
    a glass jaw.

    The word “war” is tossed out as
    frequently as spoiled milk; it’s
    lost its venomous connotation;
    ...but it’s still deadly.

    So let’s realize that we’re gathered
    here in this lifetime to witness an
    event that occurs ever so rarely;

    “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...
    Goodbye greed, anger, and lust.
    This place has perished from unhealthy elation,
    Thank you for witnessing the death of a nation.”


    frantic jungle wastelands
    that's a crime
    shades, tweed jacket man
    dollar bills waving,
    jizz splattered plexiglass:
    nicotine gov leaders, yea
    that's a crime
    vertigo'd identity complex
    bourgeois university schemes
    name brand diploma
    trick all these cunts,
    that's a crime
    philosophy of law, like they think
    clubs, where they dwell,
    grottos of tube shots,
    slipping hand first in vomit,
    thrash,
    smack your head on the hand dryer and pass out
    wake up and date rape a girl,
    that's a crime.

    Riots begin in
    black and white checkered streets
    as quickly as
    the word can be
    released from quarrelling
    mouths of each
    races spokesmen.
    "I Have a Dream" speeches
    fill the media like
    words to a page,
    pages to a chapter,
    chapters to a book;
    A new Revalation
    unwinds and lashes out
    whipping and stabbing
    equality in the back.
    Ku Klux Klan commitees
    are the new debate team
    in every filtered school
    facing their district
    and nation rivals,
    The Black Panthers.
    Racism lingers and
    becomes invincible;
    The only survivors are
    those who swallowed and
    regurgitated their pride,
    and sat in the front
    of the bus - so all
    obstacles could be
    seen. But not avoided.

    Drugs,
    Waiting on the block,
    only to later get knocked off by a shot?
    Throwing away your pay,
    down the drain, in less
    than a stoners-second.
    Its sure to get you blown -
    up from morals, away from
    love, hope, all the good things
    that get you too high on life.
    Other than that fire blaze,
    that’s lit at the end to perfection,
    you spit greed between your teeth
    and fly underneath you dreams.
    Sniff the line below,
    to confirm your ride on the
    Magic Dragon which
    flew right into sorrow,
    and crashed your mind
    after cloud nine falls down
    to rain monolithic grieve,
    on all your happy days.

    We see it everyday,
    The death of a nation,
    Shown in every other way
    On every single station
    Fuck ABC and NBC
    CBS, and CTV
    Fuck CBC, BBC, TBS
    And MTV.
    We’re exposed in the news
    To drugs, sex and violence
    Kids growin’ up to choose
    A life lesson in silence.
    Just sit and watch don’t talk,
    the anchor talks –
    Of another murder, rape,
    or robbery at the motel
    and if you’re looking for the ‘good news’
    it’s in the desk drawer at that hotel.
    Kid’s grow up blind-eyed to hate,
    They see it everyday,
    the good news can wait,
    there's no other way
    On every single station
    bad news, no truth
    it's the death of a nation...


    __________________________________

    1st Verse - Wireless - War
    2nd Verse - Macabre - Crime
    3rd Verse - Po'It - Racism
    4th Verse - Jonathon - Drugs
    5th Verse - Phrantik - Media
    Artificial.Intelligence

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    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Last edited by Jon; October 4th, 2006 at 05:32 PM
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  3. #3
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    Wireless
    It was aight....i mean parts of it were better than others. I liked it but it never had any intense imagery which always gets me attracted to a piece. Thier were subtle mentions plus comparisons and the goverment was critiqued with a fitting description. I liked some of the concepts as they were good but this ended up giving the air of forced intelligence or eliquency...like your trying to make it sound poetic...idk..maybe i'm just in a harsh mood, bear with me.....

    Macabre
    Yours gave less poetic air and more of a conversation quote, albiet a very intelligent conversation. Your verse was probably a snapshot of the world and a pessimistic but very true apprach to presenting crime. I liked the idea that you talked about various issues and i believe that it was good as it is without a particualr storyline. Overall, it was good.

    Po'It
    A poetically correct verse with a good sprinkling of imagery where needed plus facts to back the comments and thus making an informative verse. I liked how you gave a breif outlook on the past racial events and cultures and the organisations and people who paved the way to the future. Plus the negativity was shown to, so this is more like a conclusive evaluation on American racism to me.

    Jonathon
    An aight verse that could have been good. Your verse had all the right ingrediences to give the reader a clever and analytical view on the subject though some grammar errors adn flow transitions caused me some problems. However, your imagery, where used, is very good and creates images in the users mind that are instantly replaced with the realistic objects that are being talked about. To me, your last 2 lines were the highlight of your verse. Overall, it was aight, a good job...just check your spelling in one or 2 parts.

    Phrantik
    Good verse but it did give a less poetic vibe..not taking much away from it though. To me your verse summed up the whole piece and showed the pivotal role that the media play in our and our kids lifes. Though the media can be positive it chooses in the majority to stretch the truth and drain every last droplet of negativity to provide us a fresh serving of disasters. Good verse i liked it.


    Colab Verdict
    Overall, this was a good, informative and enjoyable piece with a certain poetic flair. In addition, I believe that the whole om was tied in very well and gave the reaeder worth his/her time spent on the particualr piece. Well done, Stay up^.

    Some comments, in return...
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=311447

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    Wireless- you had sum real good imagry, it showed out , also very clear to read. but i felt ya part was more poetic theme. Also what caught my eye was u had sum amazing detail, fit right wit ya topic. the flow was smooth like a poem. but it was ill tho...

    Macabre- fams your tone more of a storyline theme. it was very impressive how the imagry was like a picture of how things are, and u explain alot of detail, like how you stated issues , and see it through a different point of veiw. real intresting tho

    Po'It- ya name explains the verse really. You gave a direct sense bout how the oragnisations was. imagry was also nice. it flowed well also

    Jonathon- I like the point of veiws stated, and it showed sum good visionary. but the was str8, but it could be better tho. but i understand it completly, bout struggling wit drugs. but it was str8 also...

    Phrantik- i felt you verse alot fams.. like P said it wasn't in poetic vibe, but explain who the media brain washes the kids thats growin. the flow str8, but cud've been better. and also you verse showed more of an explaination, less image i thought.
    but i liked these lines frm u got shit tho :

    Kid’s grow up blind-eyed to hate,
    They see it everyday,
    the good news can wait,

    commentary: this was a ill collab, you all stated the issues bout the death of the nation, also you all use sum good vocabulary skill. and most important u stated the Truth

    WoRD^... peep the sig



    ___________

  5. #5
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    sure thing..

    uppin
    Artificial.Intelligence

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    lol Pak... that is what I was going for.... Death of a nation....

    It was pretty much reliving the past and placed into the present.. and thanks for all the feed cats.

    I'll hit those links... Writers promise.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  7. #7
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    You peoples are slippin' up.

    Leave links.. and Pak sorry I never got yours.. i'll try and get it tomorrow after work =D
    Roc-A-Fella !

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    yeah in short.tgho i read in depth. good/dope verses from all involved in this motherfucking true-life shit
    some peoples flows was a bit better than others. macs flow stood out best w the vocab use. but everybody's concepts stood out. like the drug shit was trippy.the racist shit was real story ish and ended nice w/ the bus shit.the 1st verse i couldnt really flow w as a rap. more of a narrative intro tho having some poetic rythm diddnt hit me musicaly....
    shit was covered nice still

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