Social Stereo-types...take a look

[God_Tongue]

relatively new to this site,so drop some feedback for me and tell me what ya think

People don’t expect me to do shit with my life,
all because of a fucking stereo type.
Just because my homies do drugs don’t mean I do em to.
But it doesn’t mean I don’t do em and that shit is true.
All I want is to be excepted as an equal.
But I guess im not on the same level as “certain” people.
Could you picture me,hand in hand,
with a geek walkin in the marchin band?
How bout the prom queen, whos money hungers never fed,
makein out in her benz with a re’ from special ed
Why don’t you ponder these words,and try to grasp the facts
If I could make everything equal, I would do just that
Just because a women in Brooklyn is addicted to crack
doesn’t mean she cant conversate with a celebrity,with Gucci on her back
and just because 2 peoples skin aint the same pigment
don’t mean they cant fall in love,and have a kid and shit
And just because a kid live in the ghetto doesn’t mean he cant drream
Of someday being a star on the movie screen
And maybe if a girls mom cooked a little shit
And got busted,doesn’t mean that the kid aint different
Man I gotta know god, please holla back to me
If this is all that I was meant for then why does my life still procede?
And if a chick gets good grades and goes to church
Then why do I automatically assume I cant be with her?
Man its these stereo types man they gettin to me
Why cant everybody in the world just live in harmony?


Holla,lemme know.....

[Engivale]

Alright, well, I want to at first say I understand your story, here... although I would probably have taken even that better if there weren't some glaring spelling errors. As writers, we should strive to at least do that correctly...

It's not a bad story or anything, it's basic stuff for a sixteen year old's life and thought pattern, but I think this could definitely use some elevation. You don't yet seem to really understand how to write a lyric, the flow is very off and there is no complexity or cleverness to your rhymescheme, or wordplay...

Good to see you posting, it's time for you to start reading and getting a good look at how to improve your writing and choose words more precisely. Stay up, sorry if I'm dissing you, but I'm just being honest: This is not very good, you just need to practice and then drop something better. Start by reading other works to understand how to use even-syllabled lines, internal rhyme schemes, and wordplays with alliteration and same-sound consenants.

[Spoken Deity]

pretty much bad... get away from the whack stuff that EVERYONE is using.. the benz and shit... deep topic, not deep writing...