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Thread: A Living Chess Game

  1. #1
    ya dig? LamaGod's Avatar
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    A Living Chess Game

    take the right or left lane?, the smallest things in life makes ya less sane
    ‘til dreams show scars, but what seems so hard is just a chess game
    in the record its said, we’re misled and treacherous heads
    cause fact is that as kids we learned to play checkers instead
    I ain’t saying that its a medal or I’m on some distant level
    but sometimes I can even see God playing it with the Devil
    to flee from the hell and feel what I‘ve felt, here’s some advice that helps
    become good at chess and odds are you’ll be good at life as well
    but don’t credit me or no rhyme, for what a chess game shows why
    all you have to know is the pieces and the rules they go by
    but first open the board, no way you cant maneuver this right
    the whole thing‘s filled with squares, symbolic of losers in life
    it wasn’t made too good.., destroy it?, in many ways you could
    it has light and dark blocks, which represents neighborhoods
    each piece is a type of person, that’s restricted to certain blocks
    segregation will always exist whether it works or not
    cause the government’s never straight forward with its crooked ways
    not nice and vicious, just like the Bishop.., which in chess took its place
    along with that of politicians, criminals, freaks and gays
    with indecent traits, those not cared about when beat and slain
    unlike the rich, whose money defeats disease and lets leaches eat
    these are the rooks, not free from the crooks, & make ends meet with ease
    while as the pawns, the poor struggle with ordinary troubles
    and take small steps all stressed, as the cost to live daily doubles
    there’s no fleeing they’re told, but some hold on deep in their souls
    cause of rags to riches stories with pawns reaching their goals
    at night there’s knights.., the drug addicts, terrorists and felons, see
    they’re known for L‘s, whether it’s a blunt, suicide or felony
    they usually avoid crowds and are like dogs that destroy hounds
    but are commonly called hoarse, since that’s how their voice sounds
    they’re shallow and dark, while others candles are sparked
    but whatever piece you are, don’t forget to follow your heart
    put it above riches, love with it.., and make sure its intact
    in fact it’s the king, and nothing’s more important than that
    it keeps you living through starving nights, ensuring bites
    always guard it right cause you’ll only get one heart in life
    just as precious is freedom, with which you could move through a fire
    that’s the queen, with her you can do whatever you desire
    get people to pray to you, or take a vacation for a day or two
    but all it takes is one wrong move and its taken away from you
    then your conscious will be slaying ya brain, replaying the same
    which represents the two players that are playing the game
    that seek that called checkmate, which can be life or death
    one second you think your living the next you realize your dead
    but while you know your alive, all you can do is hope to survive
    so gloat for a time, be glad you read this and opened your eyes
    cause the vision you see may somehow be missing to me
    since we’re not all pawns just like we’re not the same fish in the sea
    there are some who cant afford shame and what’s even more lame
    is what we thought was a game & are bored with is a board game
    but what if all of this is nothing, who am I to be trusted?
    I’m he who knows what the difference between here and above is
    the one who came to bless, Jesus Christ.., he who saved ya necks
    once slain I left, but first I gave you my word and the game of chess
    both to equally guide you, to cherish and keep them beside you
    they‘ll help you find true salvation so I hope you decide to
    plus if you do life wont be too hard, trust me.., I wont be too far
    so stop putting pieces together, first find out which piece you are
    UA

  2. #2
    ya dig? LamaGod's Avatar
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    the these are the rooks line,, the "&" in that line is suppose to be a "that" but it would start a new line so I put &, just know a that its suppose to be a "that" instead of a & if it seems weird to you lol
    UA

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  4. #4
    ..in chains? Naw!
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    "Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.

    I HAVE TO BE HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
    READ THE RULES.
    CLOSED.

    Reason: Shit Feedback. It just sounds like you don't read ANY piece.. sort it out.


    -Brix."
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

  5. #5
    ..in chains? Naw!
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    Re-opened, and thanks.
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton

  6. #6
    ya dig? LamaGod's Avatar
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    word, thanks to you too.

    feed plz guys
    UA

  7. #7
    Banned Synonym's Avatar
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    This Was a Nice Peice Man I must say you had good imagery all throughout this and some creativity although it was quite long but you had most of this peice locked pretty dope you need a better concept though Chess and Life are often compared and contrasted thus far here and thats why the topic is a bit played you did good though nice too see that you know what you're doing.

  8. #8
    Banned Synonym's Avatar
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  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    putting it simply i thought thyis way too long and get very very very very boring at times. seemed to repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat itself over and over and over and over again........ was lacking in most major elements. nothing much was original. flow diddnt have any excitement or expression... vocab was standard stuff. no wordplay caught my eye. no smooth mettas. . had some well crafted flowing bars and did try to get a few points accross. but it all got sort of jumbled up. and became indecisive. and just throwing out mixed thopughts and then mixing it with a funny touch of religion just killed it DEAD.

    i dunno. no hate. i dont know you or nothing. this whole piece cudda been cut down to like 20 lines and still get the tale told....


    keep poppin tho i c u got shit to say...........

    pz
    .................................................. ......................

  10. #10
    ya dig? LamaGod's Avatar
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    syn - no doubt I'll hit that up, thanks for the feed.

    vortex - thanks for the feed, cant please everyone, I peeped a couple of pieces of yours, it seems you like big words alot, and well. if thats what your really into then I doubt you'll ever like a piece of mine cause I love keeping things simple, not too simple, but not on no crazy vocab type ish. goodlooks on the feed though, I knew the ending was a risk, gotta take risks sometimes, and so far some have not liked it while others have.
    Last edited by LamaGod; August 15th, 2006 at 03:01 PM
    UA

  11. #11
    ya dig? LamaGod's Avatar
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    up for more feed
    UA

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by David Lama
    syn - no doubt I'll hit that up, thanks for the feed.

    vortex - thanks for the feed, cant please everyone, I peeped a couple of pieces of yours, it seems you look big words alot, and well. if thats what your really into then I doubt you'll ever like a piece of mine cause I love keeping things simple, not too simple, but not on no crazy vocab type ish. goodlooks on the feed though, I knew the ending was a risk, gotta take risks sometimes, and so far some have not liked it while others have.

    nah i dont go for big words. hardly evert use them, am not inpressed with them. i just write as i would talk. and try to be creative with word usage and wordplays while developing metaphores and the like. words may seem big to some if not familiar with certain aspects of the language.

    i thought you made some intesting statements and showed some good imagination in this. but ish cudda easily been compressed and crafted more deftly..


    so dont say i would never like a piece of yours. its not that blood

    pz
    .................................................. ......................

  13. #13
    Banned Vylint's Avatar
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    I would reply but you never return the favor and you were warned about in-depthness, and thats why open mics arent what they were two years ago asshole. :-)

    Heres my your-type reply tho;

    Dope, decent flow, nice ender.

  14. #14
    ya dig? LamaGod's Avatar
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    Vortex - I guess what me and you look for in a topical are just two different things, you say I repeat myself, I say I stick to a topic and make it happen, while your topicals are usually all over the place and never really stick to one topic, which isnt good (out of the ones I peeped by you). not trying to hate or anything, or come across like I'm saying this just cause you said what you said, cause I'm not. I just know that I will never write the way you write or the the type of things you like, not because I cant, but because I choose not to. thanks again though.

    Vylint - I do return feed, thanks for the short comment, but I'ma hit your piece up now with some good feed, and expect the same in return lol
    UA

  15. #15
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    i still say yuo repeat yourself. you probaly dont even check out your own work. take a look. and then tell me how many times you mention the word "game". how many times do you mention the word "chess". in fact how many times do you mention many words...

    whatever anyway man. fuck it. dont read my shit no more. and i wont read yours. i diddnt ask you to write like me.. i diddnt mention anything about vocab. you DID. i diddnt say anything bout.. simple.YOU DID..FUCK IT n STAY SIMPLE THEN...........


    IM OFF TO elvate some more
    .................................................. ......................

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