All That Jazz (with links)

[Old Man]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303969
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=304568



Body and spirit intwined with those pure hearts
Blossom love and tenderness to all of the parts
Howling winds assisted by breath from our lungs
As we whisper these hymns with sharp tongues
When the page turns, we start another chapter
To sing songs of love and some songs of laughter
Mixed toxins move us through the linear product
With accidentals that fit perfect in similar conduct

"Leaving images inked with black and white type
I sit back and think and reflect on my life
Practice makes perfect and I learn from mistakes
Remembering the gift I was given by His grace
So I write today, as I will write tomorrow
For when I am not writing, I ponder my sorrow
And the chance I take is just hoping for the best
I am dreaming without slowing for some rest
So I try my hardest in every piece I write; I'm a goer
But I feel unappreciated and my standards begin to lower
But my life is based on chronicles, so hear what i've said
The music will live within the world, until we all are dead"

Music is for everyone, but the style's are subjective
But no matter how you look at it, it's all connected
Dancing is moving, but in directions we may not know
With serpentine moves and eclectic dances to show
There's many ways to segregate, but one things true
Singing is the one thing that all culture's like to do
Rhythym is within everyone even if it doesn't show
Because music isn't always external, it starts in your soul

[XM]

Amazing....i see your far from a noob kinda doubted you at first but i kept an eye on you because your showing you have more then just potential, the emotion and imagry was just beautiful, nice wording and vocabulary an every aspect of this piece i really liked the wording thas wat stood out the most damn good job homie

[The Vortex]

yeah this was more towards the the purpose than yo otha joint. was reading this da other day....... rythym was tite.. if maybe not adventurous. tite still. had flow in there.....
all nicely worded like you picked them joints out especialy for the format and structure....

vocab was nicee w/o going ova the top....... poetics was fused well with a sense of rap music involvement..........
could do w sum mo puctuation to set up the line arrangement and put order to the flow. coz it can be lost down the page at times.....


could of had a lil mo rawness also. or something a bit gripping. or real emotional or something. or a deep message, or............ yeah was cool tho still. musical
check this rap

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=304652

[Fatal.]

wow. that was very good. i loved the creativity and imagery throughout and i also felt the emotion. i liked the topic. different and interesting. it was very enjoyable to read. the rhymes were good and the vocab was good throughout. good flow constantly throughout this peice. my favorite part was:

Body and spirit intwined with those pure hearts
Blossom love and tenderness to all of the parts
Howling winds assisted by breath from our lungs
As we whisper these hymns with sharp tongues
When the page turns, we start another chapter
To sing songs of love and some songs of laughter
Mixed toxins move us through the linear product
With accidentals that fit perfect in similar conduct

^ i loved that. it was perfectly with the peice

good job man. keep writing.

[Es.Choir]

Nice, you have a gift. I've seen it in all of these pieces. You have a way with words, and not only that but you're also good with multies, vocabular, structure and all the rest of that Jazz. This was a good soulful piece, I dig. Wish I could leave more feed, but I'm a bit busy at the moment. Good Work. Keep Dropping.