Captured

[[©Merked You®]™]

Lithuania, Northern Europe

May 23 2005Bound by ropes all hopes just seem..well..lost
An inquisitve mind I now find comes wit a cost
Tossed are chances for escape..too late..my legs break
Im still tryna figured out just how I am going to take
Bein dragged half bagged behind a military jeep
The story is getting deep..I then started to weep
I fear nothing will save me from this ill fate
Forever now Muslium people I must and will hate
My face smashed a grate on the street as we start
As they rode the beat me like they had no heart
They are speaking Arab but look Russian I cant tell
My brain in so much pain my whole thought process gone to hell
Like Im under a spell until we come to a stop
My back has become numb from the swipes of a riders crop
Stripped down.."Now feel the cold.. American Blasphameous Pig"
Then they drug me into the compound by my now filthy wig
My nails dig into the ground as the drag me..I wince in agony
When man dressed like an alladin type prince approaches me
Encroaches me.. "You come to wrong place American"
"Big man now what you do if I spit in your face..u have plan?"
Laughs got loud as they gathered in a crowd
To torture the indfidel and make ALLAH proud
I saw in the back..they raised a cross I was at a loss
I knew at that point the situation was at a total toss
They chanted "DIE" and I have to admit I again started to cry
They laughed whole heartdly and I already knew why
My cell phone went off..every solider drew a gun
A stray round went off when a solider spun
I was on my back for the attack just layin prone
When a spare hot one landed in my hipbone
A scream stilfled to a moan by a soliders gun butt
Smashing my good eye cause the other one shut
And swollen over this part is whats so shocking
I scream 'NOOOOOO" as I see 10 people carryin a cross that rocking
Back and forth..They say "This is you Jesus is it not?"
"But we arent even near those lands..not even the same spot"
Not a good feeling when you see a crucifix,hammer and stakes
Then the crowd created a clamour and I knew they werent fakes
I see the headlines "NEWSPAPER REPORTER MAKES COVER PAGE"
But I am only 22, fresh out of college never to see another age
Beaten bloody within the very inch of my life
I will never know the joy of a kid or of having a wife
Laid down by the crucifix taking their licks at will
Striking with percision and skill ensuring not to kill
Funny how they didnt go to drive the stakes through my feet
Again I was beat..I guess by torture my end and I will meet
I am far from any king that was ever destined to rule
I am not a reporter when I awaken just a man covered in drool
Coke spilled on my lap..my whole seat was iced
I , somehow, fell asleep during "The Passion of Christ"
Never should have fallen out during this flick
That taught me a lesson..one that will forever stick
As I got up and I kissed my entire beautiful fam
I looked up and gave props to the Lord...Cause he the fuckin man...man...

an old topical

[[©Merked You®]™]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...92#post4757692
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...04#post4757704

[Amor Jones]

DAMN THIS WAS DOPE. this was a real dope piece man. u had a original concept n it. n u went deep with ur emotion on this one. i was feelin every single part of this drop man. this shit was crazy. its jsut below being nominated for HoF. but good job man

[[©Merked You®]™]

upp...

[Omega.]

feed first on the last link in my sig then ill edit this to leave feed!

[Lauren.]

Good concept, good emotion, deep imagery. I really liked your take on this topic. The end was a good twist too. Your vocab and rhyming may not have been incredibly complex, but the piece was still dope anyways. The flow was pretty much perfect throughout, and this is one of the few pieces that really touches me emotionally. Overall this was a really deep piece

[[©Merked You®]™]

upp

[Spoken]

Damn, what a long as piece, i was pretty suprise after reading this i aint fall asleep seeing as how well written and good it was. Pretty emotional and it had a great concept behind it, the desciption and imagery was betrayed real well but i also think u could have done alil bit better on your vocab, but u proly knew sumthin was wrong but its to much to go thru(lol), and your rhyming wasnt all that good but it was enought to put the words in to place to understand it, but man good job and keep it up, but next time write sumfin alil smaller that most people look forward to reading9(lol)
Oh and hit one of the OMs in my sig plz and thnx

[[©Merked You®]™]

upp

[[©Merked You®]™]

upppers

[Engivale]

I liked the piece quite a bit, I could really see the scene you were painting and enjoyed your rhyme scheme. I don't think that it's written to the point where it sounds just right to me singing along, could use some more careful word choices to help make your transitions a bit more smooth, but you did a better job of that in some lines then others.

Overall a good drop, I think you're pretty good and probably just need to keep writing. If you get a chance to hit me up I've got a piece up called, "The Journey to Carnal Desire," that I wrote tonight, tell me what you think because it's kind of out there and gets a little off topic, but for the most part I said what I wanted to.

[[©Merked You®]™]

upp

[[©Merked You®]™]

upp