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Thread: Flourishing Secrets

  1. July 27th, 2006, 12:38 AM #1
    XM
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    Flourishing Secrets

    Flourishing Secrets

    An incentives were given, roughly mentioned accendants
    To be murdered is not to die, the discription is different
    Ending, submitted decendants, solely permiscuious pawns
    Holy intially soldiers, only to live with the wrongs
    Holding the piece to the puzzle, blossoming flowering lies
    Peace never speaks through the muzzle, rise as the towering dies
    Seeps through the cowarding eyes, leak proof in seek for the truth
    To find the powering binds, all those who grief for the proof
    Then given reasons to do , things of opposing religion
    Never no closure when finish, hate every moment your in it
    Fates getting colder in minutes, minutes then turn into ours
    Hours the souls innoventions, suffering learns to devour
    Reigning determines the showers, possibly hang it for last
    Always a shame when it pass, honesty, a thing of the past
    Making these claims for the clash, as i still look for a purpose
    Unreal and crooked on purpose, be damn if i'll be a servant


    I Am No Longer In The Marine Corp For My Own Personal Reason
    Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302567
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=4757319
    Where the fuck was I fore they found me?
    Floatn in a meadow, dragonflies all around me
    Seeded in a ghetto, smokin cigarellos
    Stress oceans try to drown me
    Walking on water like when Christ did, glidin
    Mic in my plam like the trident in the hand of Poseidon
  2. July 27th, 2006, 01:29 AM #2
    Lord of Pens
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    Lol. I like this piece. The last line made me laugh. Vocabulary showed through on this piece. As well as a little emotion. Your rhyme scheme was good. I few typo's here and there. Flow was iight. Nothing truly special. Felt like you were just speaking out though. I would say to just work on your spelling errors and that small shit and do a few touch-ups here and there and you could be alot better. Good work though. Keep writing.
  3. July 27th, 2006, 01:32 AM #3
    XM
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    meh...this was really a quick write i had 4 lines then just kinda went with it and posted it lmao
    Where the fuck was I fore they found me?
    Floatn in a meadow, dragonflies all around me
    Seeded in a ghetto, smokin cigarellos
    Stress oceans try to drown me
    Walking on water like when Christ did, glidin
    Mic in my plam like the trident in the hand of Poseidon
  4. July 28th, 2006, 12:34 AM #4
    XM
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    Ups.
    Where the fuck was I fore they found me?
    Floatn in a meadow, dragonflies all around me
    Seeded in a ghetto, smokin cigarellos
    Stress oceans try to drown me
    Walking on water like when Christ did, glidin
    Mic in my plam like the trident in the hand of Poseidon
  5. July 28th, 2006, 01:43 AM #5
    Spoken
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    Nice, very nice X.Malice, the topic was good, great verse, good vocab, you had a great deal of emotion also. I think you could do alil bit more better on the spelling, your flow wasnt off that much, just here and there, good imagery, nice descriptions. Good job, keep it up X
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE
  6. July 28th, 2006, 10:24 AM #6
    B.I.Detained.
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