revise close dis plz
revise close dis plz
Last edited by lOOk$; June 27th, 2006 at 08:37 PM
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Got a hole in you then your bleeding
so its not like im just calling you pussy for no reason - Jada
uppin for some feed plz. thanks
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Got a hole in you then your bleeding
so its not like im just calling you pussy for no reason - Jada
I liked this. Maybe it would belong better in poetry forum. Pretty good though, i liked your phrasing throughout. "Frost of cares" was a particularly nice way to open. You paint a vivid picture and everything you say is all very noble. I'd like to see you open up to us as a writer more though in your next few pieces...peace
yo man thanks nice to see sum dope heads givin gd feed, defenatly will try n do more writtens n poetry. uppin for more feed
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Got a hole in you then your bleeding
so its not like im just calling you pussy for no reason - Jada
yeah man that was a nice verse, but yeah, this should be in the poetry section. but nevertheless, il leave you some feed.
okay your wordplay was great, except sometimes I think you might have gone a touch overboard, but thats alright, your structure was great, and everything was in perfect context to the title. good job
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thanks uppin for more feed
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Got a hole in you then your bleeding
so its not like im just calling you pussy for no reason - Jada
uppin for sum feed plz
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Got a hole in you then your bleeding
so its not like im just calling you pussy for no reason - Jada
up for sum feed
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Got a hole in you then your bleeding
so its not like im just calling you pussy for no reason - Jada
good work looks u've really elevated topically... i liked the topic alot, it was interesting and well thought out.... the rhyme scheme was unique and poetical and it kept me reading... the vocab was outstanding and very intelligent... only problem was some spelling and a bit of wrong wording that kinda shook it up a bit... structure and flow was nice and consistent. my feed is usually longer but i dont really have much to critisize on this piece... i can see you put a lot of work into it and it turned out really well... i would have really liked to see it a bit longer though, mayb u should have added on 1 or 2 extra verses and kept it going cuz i would have liked to see more of it..
keep it up and keep elevating... cant wait 2 put our crew collab out now
~1~
I.J.L Reppin
Tatt And Blue Perhaps You Knew
uppin
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Got a hole in you then your bleeding
so its not like im just calling you pussy for no reason - Jada
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