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Thread: Between Us

  1. #1

    Between Us

    Between Us

    As I looked deep into her frantic eye’s of love
    Emotions rage and adjure that she was sent from above.
    With a lifeless measure of admirable respect for self
    She had beauty, passion, and essence with a lone touch to tell
    With a feeling non describable brought forth to earth.
    One to open up secrets that’s what you call a woman’s worth
    Staying up late nights Dialing my number down
    To help you with bad times, to turn you frown inside out
    This secret love affair that drifts between two souls within the air is careless
    Driving away from the promises we made and capturing with such finesse’
    No one will understand the vow that is made between this woman and this man
    I hold on to his hand in hopes that he grips onto mine with a passionate plan
    I held him close and felt a love that could stop the world from spinning
    Close my eyes and picture his face that always carried a new beginning
    I can’t share these thoughts with another soul so I look to you for a sense of reality
    It derives between us; the meaning of a new lust, and we can’t escape from mortality

    .
    .
    .
    When I would look at you, I get the butter of flies
    With a touch of shy presence, when I would look into your eye’s
    I love it when you hold me; you love it when I say
    Those three little words, that replays, that just can’t go away.
    When trailed tears would fall, I’m always there for you.
    To better and interminably comfort you, when feeling sad and blue
    I'll never let you go hold you close to my heart and self.
    As for now my words speak louder than actions when i say i love to death.
    Using our new found sensuality we disappear and fall from the essence of grace
    As I am only with you in your dreams when you wake up you will feel my embrace
    I was misplaced and gets hard to be here without you, but tonight it’s only you and me
    As we lay our heads and close our eyes, loneliness is brought to a lesser degree
    People will question the guidance that has lead me to a short but sweet conclusion
    And with all the miles that separate us, this love is worth the depressing illusion
    With everything I know and everyone I meet, with every touch I feel I think of you
    When its all said and done, the scary part is that it’s painful to wake up and bid you adieu



    Black=ME
    Red=A.O.D

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294102
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293292
    Last edited by Philly B. Sparkz; May 25th, 2006 at 08:13 PM
    <<The real Renegade

  2. #2
    wor dpeople lets get some feed.
    <<The real Renegade

  3. #3
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    pretty ill piece...i liked tha collab......philly...your verse was ill....felt tha emotion...i liked tha wordplay and tha rhyme scheme......you had a small amount of complexity in your piece which was utilized very accurately.....your structure was simple and ill....i enjoyed your verse..you stayed on point........AOD..your verse was tight...good emotion...good rhyme scheme....you stayed on point...your lines were a little stretched..but other than that this piece was ill....i enjoyed this collab very much....keep droppin tha hottness.~1~


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  4. #4
    word man thank you!.

    upping some feed man!
    <<The real Renegade

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    This was a very good drop overall. It had a lot of emotion and was very good in the vocabulary aspect too. The flow was on point. From both verses everything was tight. You had me in a loving mood and want to get my girl right now and just not even fuck her just be with her. Good piece guys. Look forward to more.

  6. #6
    Word man

    Written Voices at it again!..LOL!
    <<The real Renegade

  7. #7
    Class of 06 Quest.'s Avatar
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    Awards FL Champion 50+ Wins
    this peice was dope as fuck...real talk.....emotion i was feelin it....the flow,rhyme scheme,topic,vocab was all down to the point where it needed to be.....both guess had well thought out verse's which made it good to read....good job to both

  8. #8
    word man thanks....

    she made her verse and i just made my verse...
    we didnt even feed off eachother...LOL!
    i just wrote like i was talkin to her.
    well thnaks man


    upping this
    <<The real Renegade

  9. #9
    ...
    Join Date
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    Good drop, I loved the concept, it is used a lot but you brought a new style to it I felt, I could really feel the emotion of the piece, it flowed extremely well, and it was a very creative verse, I liked almost all the lines, the vocab was above par, and in my opinion this piece was a really talented drop...good job man.....keep it up...

  10. #10
    ^^
    please man do i hear a nomination into HOF?1....i think i do.
    <<The real Renegade

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! mc pyro.'s Avatar
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    loved this peice especilly the emotion that was the best part it seemed so real that it kept my interest the entire time the vocab was ill defently saw some real creative words in there the flow was as well good it went along with your topic greatly speaking of the topic i liked it fairly complex and deep nice job stay up this was a great peice
    hit up these om's wit some feed

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  12. #12
    dreadedfistofthenorthwest
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    I was feelin both cats drops. the collab was real tight. both cats came real dope with the flow. it was consistent almost all the way through. which is hard to get in a collab. but the description, imagery and vocabulary came off dope and twisted with eachother really dopely. not to much more to say. the drop was tight again. keep droppin.

    -Peace

    peep my collab wit cassidy.
    The R.
    -The Illest Ever Kid-

  13. #13
    ^^
    Word sure thing man just leave feed on my dry ink collab when i do...

    anyway's uh do i hear HOF?1.....i think we should get a nomination at least!
    <<The real Renegade

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! A.O.D's Avatar
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    Thank you for the replies everyone.
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
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  15. #15
    Newbie
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    Nice jobs guyz...this was something...i really liked this...
    flow was consistant the whole way throughout
    rhymes were excellent...nice multies...
    imagery and vocab was here all the way.. good job
    overall this was enjoyable to read...

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