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Thread: Unorganized Thoughts. - Keystyle

  1. #1
    40 Cal. Ripken
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    Unorganized Thoughts. - Keystyle

    and i heard them say.

    the heat comes out at night but theres fright n fear all day
    cuz the daytime and night time arent light years away
    people near decay, thats one of the basic signs of abusers
    its aint crime to the users, in there mind there not losers
    some take a different road, half aint did that wrong
    we seen days, but most arent as cliche as the rap songs
    some post up, most associated with some known nuts
    stay paitent, playstation is the only object they load up
    n of course, we at the courts, the ones wit the hoop there
    we gave our day to the fade away up in the cool air
    hate to say without lay away, you'd see us dudes bare
    ...unless u some thug n run drugs from the stoop stair
    it wasnt to rare, to write when life wasnt too fair
    some kids lucky to watch bugs bunny or some pooh bear
    you do tear a whole in ya heart, just by bein a witness
    seein this shit switch, money's low ...eatings a privelage
    seein the midrift on honey's, know they needin a quick fix
    we the dummies though, it aint like we reachin to fix this
    now preachers seekin some kid dick, that burns the community
    we cant trust the men god sends to spread his words to u n me?
    forced into truancy from church, witout seein a ghost
    not only is noone perfect, nobody is even close
    n if thats what he wants ta see, why does he come ta me?
    cuz if he didnt forgive us for our sins
    .
    .
    ..there'd be noone to keep him company
    1/2 of The Hearty Boys

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Innovator.
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    pretty damn solid for a keystyle. wasn't really off topic at all.

    some post up, most associated with some known nuts
    stay paitent, playstation is the only object they load up
    n of course, we at the courts, the ones wit the hoop there
    we gave our day to the fade away up in the cool air
    hate to say without lay away, you'd see us dudes bare
    ...unless u some thug n run drugs from the stoop stair
    it wasnt to rare, to write when life wasnt too fair
    some kids lucky to watch bugs bunny or some pooh bear
    you do tear a whole in ya heart, just by bein a witness
    seein this shit switch, money's low ...eatings a privelage

    only line in that part that i found awkward was the 'stoop stair' line. just sounded forced and kind of funny, nah mean? anyway, this is my favorite part and that eating a priviledge line is dope. and has some serious truth behind it. bugs bunny and pooh bear line made me laugh. cool shit. feeling the flow. even though you said it was unorganized it had a memorable touch to it
    AI. Legendary.
    19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.

  4. #4
    40 Cal. Ripken
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    word @ stoop stair. thats what holders do all day though. they post up on the stoop like there on house arrest, it does sound funny though ..haha. but yea, it did kinda come out organized. i just named it and started writing. good looks on the feed.
    Last edited by Joe Metts; May 21st, 2006 at 01:43 PM
    1/2 of The Hearty Boys

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
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    i like the flow to this but what i liked the most was that it was all some true shit, good job homie

  6. #6
    40 Cal. Ripken
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    good looking, whoever feeds this can leave some links. i'll holler at them.
    1/2 of The Hearty Boys

  7. #7
     
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    Awards 50+ Wins - 50+ Wins SOTW FL Champion
    This was a nice piece. You had strong and creative vocab and wordplay. The flow and structure were also nice. Could you leave feed on the link in my sig. Thanks
    lyricalz finest

  8. #8
    40 Cal. Ripken
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    no doubt, i'll hit when i get home.
    1/2 of The Hearty Boys

  9. #9
    Elite.-
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    i liked this not off topic, you could have done a better job with the structure otherwise a pretty decent drop,

    lines i liked the most were
    some post up, most associated with some known nuts
    stay paitent, playstation is the only object they load up
    n of course, we at the courts, the ones wit the hoop there
    we gave our day to the fade away up in the cool air
    hate to say without lay away, you'd see us dudes bare
    ...unless u some thug n run drugs from the stoop stair
    it wasnt to rare, to write when life wasnt too fair
    some kids lucky to watch bugs bunny or some pooh bear
    you do tear a whole in ya heart, just by bein a witness
    seein this shit switch, money's low ...eatings a privelage

    lolz at these being unorganized thoughts has a certain touch to it..1.. keep it up
    scytsophrenia

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