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Thread: Keep On Moving(Tired Of The Way Things Are)

  1. May 19th, 2006, 12:57 PM #1
    LyricallyInclined
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    Keep On Moving(Tired Of The Way Things Are)

    The Begining
    I was born with a name but soon lost it presigustly
    My life has been short and most conseditly
    infinte boundings, focused on my suroundings
    i have a thought that keeps my mind pounding
    theres no way around it, i cant over-come
    spaced out, no feeling left, my mind is numb
    the trickle of insanity is tinkering with my thoughts
    i feel my mind bursting, i brush my hand against the knots
    im heart is decaying so descritly its amazing
    people just laugh as they find this entertaining
    i have not a clue on how to end my life cycle
    so i pick it up and read upon my bible

    Half Way Through It
    okay i see now things wont change, i still wont quit
    i have a motivation, i continue to clutch my fifth
    living like a acoholic, and fiend, to get it accomplished
    keep on moving, i wont stop till your astonished
    i get judged everyday and it seems like its a normal thing
    im half way through it and i still havent completely lost my saine
    the rap industry will soon be slain, i wont give up
    i have the will power, its just as if ive lost my luck


    Still writing will post the rest as soon as its finished

    link 1
    link 2
    Last edited by LyricallyInclined; May 19th, 2006 at 09:54 PM
    AUDIO

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  2. May 19th, 2006, 02:35 PM #2
    Evolve
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    Ehhhhh... It was kind of boring and basic to be honest with you. Not really any interesting rhyme schemes or multi's to comment about. The story its self has been done alot before. You need to be more creative & experiment with different schemes. Keep at it though.
    Rappers sound the same man, found 1 game plan & ran through it
    They all got that Geico flow.. Cause even a cave man can do it

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  3. May 19th, 2006, 07:51 PM #3
    LyricallyInclined
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    upping
    AUDIO

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  4. May 19th, 2006, 09:33 PM #4
    DimeBag101
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    Cough* this was ok,,, lol i can see you're trying to put what you really feel into life inside your drop thats not always an easy thing to do, emotions can be worded better i use to have trouble with it but it was kinda boring
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  5. May 19th, 2006, 09:54 PM #5
    LyricallyInclined
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    okay i completly changed the beginning
    AUDIO

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  6. May 21st, 2006, 08:57 PM #6
    LyricallyInclined
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    upping for feed

    i completely changed the first part
    AUDIO

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  7. May 21st, 2006, 10:56 PM #7
    -=HazE=-
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    meh boring,some lines didnt even rhyme,try using multiples maybe it will flow
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    "Steadly Deciding...Thoughts Sowing Deadly weather
    I rip verses apart,Yet my flows pulls them together"
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  8. May 22nd, 2006, 04:57 PM #8
    LyricallyInclined
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    up for feedback
    AUDIO

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