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Thread: The Infantry

  1. May 14th, 2006, 10:50 PM #1
    ...Dusk2Dawn...
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    The Infantry

    The Infantry
    By: Dusk2Dawn

    Camouflage worn illusively,
    War zones examined with scrutiny,
    Terrorists engage in mutiny,
    So we rape their women abusively,
    Rip their vales off ruthlessly,
    Anal leaves blood streaming profusely.

    Cautiously we take footsteps silently,
    Putting infrared on and the safety off quietly,
    We attack with guns blazing and surging violently,
    Guerilla warfare, assault and onslaught bystanders defiantly,
    On rushes are done violently, their never takin lightly or mildly,
    Hit the weed to take stress off, then continue to blaze rounds wildly.

    Individually were filled with stupidity,
    Thinking being soldiers gives us validity,
    To torture innocents to a state of tranquility,
    While we show no signs of remorse or humility,
    We beat women and children with ease and lucidity,
    Bush backs us up for infinity for we are The Infantry.
    .
    .
    .
    A war over oil, I was picked, I'm not here by my own goodwill
    But as long as I'm here, gruesomely or violently my human needs will be fulfilled






    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post4458017
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...05#post4407405
    Last edited by ...Dusk2Dawn...; May 15th, 2006 at 05:08 PM
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  2. May 14th, 2006, 10:55 PM #2
    Data-Ntry
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    WOW!!!! This piece is off the Hook.....And the Topic is NICE.....I like how you played on the War Situation ....I've read pieces with similar topic's but none contained...the imagery,vocab, or structure that you put in this one....What I really enjoyed about this piece was the use of effective vocab......It seemed like you pulled out a thesarus for this one (not saying that you did)....But overall I'd have to say that this was a very good piece......GOOD SHIT ....KEEP IT UP .....

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  3. May 14th, 2006, 10:57 PM #3
    ~Vertikle~
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    shit was wack as shit......bitch...........-100 out of 10 good attempt at real rap music......if ya gonna bring it bring it ya know.....juss trying to help you out this was a piece of shit and ole boy above me is dick riding cause he needs some dick back lol fuck u bitches come get it
    If you wanna die, fuck wit me...............BITCH

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  4. May 14th, 2006, 11:03 PM #4
    ...Dusk2Dawn...
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    ^^Hahaha, you've been in every thread so far saying everything was Wack. haha


    Uppin anyway
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  5. May 14th, 2006, 11:24 PM #5
    Syk.iLL
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    Hmm I wonder what he'd say about bounce's work. Anyway buddy was good? Overall I thought the structure was interesting IN a good way Overall rhyme was great. it felt very Armyish because of the repetitive rhyme. I don't know overall the imagery needs to be upped up a bit but i like the detached feel because it lends to the soldiery "armoa" of the piece itself. Good job overall.

    RTF if you have a chance
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292214

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  6. May 15th, 2006, 07:20 AM #6
    ...Dusk2Dawn...
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    Bump
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  7. May 15th, 2006, 07:25 AM #7
    +AffIzIaL+
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    this was a decent dop man nice effort and was executed well. nice multies and vocab that waas blended in and tried!. nice work man nice FAM.

    im sitll wainting for you to RTF on my OM's
    Open Mic

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  8. May 15th, 2006, 03:28 PM #8
    ...Dusk2Dawn...
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    Bump, and I got you affizal!
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  9. May 15th, 2006, 03:53 PM #9
    kid sick.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Vertikle~
    shit was wack as shit......bitch...........-100 out of 10 good attempt at real rap music......if ya gonna bring it bring it ya know.....juss trying to help you out this was a piece of shit and ole boy above me is dick riding cause he needs some dick back lol fuck u bitches come get it
    stfu or il murk you for your life^

    anyways .

    This was a very nice peice homie, structure all good and even and nothing stretched at all. Like the topic and how you touched on how the world is, and how you feel about it. This multis were very nice and nice choice of vocab nothing basic or boring. This was very good, keep writing and elevating and dropping.

    ~1~
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  10. May 15th, 2006, 04:50 PM #10
    detremental.
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    Damn, this piece was fuckin beautiful. I loved the word usage and vocab on it. Made the reading very fun. This piece had great insight and made me think. The structure was good and this was very well presented. Great job mah nigga. I'm feelin this. keep it up.
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  11. May 15th, 2006, 05:02 PM #11
    ...Dusk2Dawn...
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    Thank you. Bump
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  12. May 15th, 2006, 05:06 PM #12
    detremental.
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    Yo can you leave feed on the OM Gettin Ready For War in mah sig please. appreciate it mah nigga.
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  13. May 15th, 2006, 05:08 PM #13
    ...Dusk2Dawn...
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    Yep.
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  14. May 15th, 2006, 05:58 PM #14
    ...Dusk2Dawn...
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    Bump.
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  15. May 15th, 2006, 06:03 PM #15
    P. Mortuus
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    Very good piece, i'm impressed by the effort you have put in to make the structure and form better, there was one or two odd lines here and there but overall it was quite immaculate or is that articualte idk lol.....the vocab was good but could have been better. I saw influences of "The Fickle War" in here which is good cause it means ya been payin attention...Overall a very good piece, carry on steadily improving.

    Preciate if you could check out this piece
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292317
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL
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