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Thread: The Mind's a Crazy Thing

  1. #1
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    The Mind's a Crazy Thing



    The Mind's a Funny Thing


    Sinfully torn between a symphony born of melodic thoughts
    officially sworn to scheme, sinful needs thorn episodic plots
    initially formed by simple beings, worn from periodic haunts
    viscously scorned by simple means born of psychotic taunts,
    neurotic wants, and chaotic flaunts, of mans mental instability
    A detrimental disability of cranial fabrics & general sensibility

    : pen plops down with a thud :


    The mind's a funny thing...
    ...so I humbly sing
    in tune w/ sorrow, consumed...
    ...by a hollow heart
    and express with pen inked...
    ...in a shallow art

    my last impart pressed...
    ...forever in text,
    with the brilliance of a mind...
    ...gone vexed,
    my minds gone & all that's left...
    ...is an empty vessel,

    spilt booze & these lines I've left!


    [ The stench of a liver marinated through a life of drink
    escapes the lips on the tail end of each breath in sync
    with each word he speaks thru his lonesome sorrows
    alone w/ a bottle half smashed off the contents in glass
    a liquid inspiration to bask in his desperation full flask
    were the thirst for life is quenched by the sands of time
    swallowed by brilliant minds scribed on pages of fine
    literature, described by visuals defined by the residual
    effects of absinthe while absent from original context
    melting facets of integrity like faucets of aboriginal text
    flowing forth like ice water tapped from creative veins
    of those who gorge on the flesh of metaphor and pain
    in meadows born of rain where words flower off two-lips
    & tulips shower off moonlit backdrops inked in new script
    a solemn world of bottled booze in smoke filled rooms
    where chasing dragons spark a dance with fire & muse ]

    Burdened as the carpenter
    ...of written word,
    in stammered verse, I'm
    ...hammered first,
    & damned by an aching thirst
    ...like the damned,
    who awaken first under
    ... an ancient curse,
    starved for blood in a world
    ...of bleeding arts,
    the drinking starts at the jugular
    ...of beating hearts,
    like verbal darts I play sharp
    ...games on cork,
    & hit bulls eyes w/ points
    ...well forked,

    in roads paved by words
    ...I've posed,
    as an innovator of prose
    ...& proposed,
    to many a coke bottle shape
    ...now I tremble,
    & shake until I consume
    ...my fill,
    of the venoms I snake
    ...milked from the,
    fangs of a poisonous make
    ...my strike of pen
    is likened to a strike from ten
    ...Saw Scaled Vipers,
    lying in wait, dying to take
    ...the life of men,


    [ A Farewell to Arms? When a double barrel death barrows
    thru thoughts & shattered grey matter splatters on clocks
    just to be mindful of a time before shock therapy primmed
    the shells that eventually blew this mind in a cabin of logs
    rabid like dogs his mouth foamed as he violently twitched
    in a pool of blood as his shotgun crashed on the cold floor
    the blast tore thru his cranial plate & wiped his slate clean
    it's morbidly ironic this iconic symbol's farewell rang out
    by armed means, the death of a true master craftsman
    fashioned by suicide as his passion to write said good night
    and the gleam in his minds eye burned out like candles
    left in the wind, creative juices dried out, theres no doubt
    it's curtain call, time to put an end to all that hurts him raw
    so he pours one last drink past quivering lips on a face
    soon to be ripped off & puts the glass down by the last page
    of the memoirs he's passed down... ]

    : thunderous blast :


    The mind's a funny thing...
    ...so I humbly sing
    in tune w/ sorrow, consumed...
    ...by a hollow heart
    and express with pen inked...
    ...in a shallow art

    my last impart pressed...
    ...forever in text,
    with the brilliance of a mind...
    ...gone vexed,
    my minds gone & all that's left...
    ...is an empty vessel,

    spilt booze & these lines I've left!



    In memory of Ernest Hemingway who killed himself with his favorite shotgun in a log cabin in Ketcham, Idaho on July 2, 1961.

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  2. #2
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    wow, shit was hot. i dunno, but i read this and every other word connected and contrasted and predicted with the next. it was like everything in this was FUSED together as one big whole. you didn't fall off ONCE! a perfect piece like no other, i've deffinatly seen no better than this in a while. the story was sad and violent at the same time, very emotional. you could feel the emotion growing stronger as you read on through every verse. that final one had my heart racing, i read it once slow. to make sense of everything, then i read it out loud with a fast pace. it was flawless either way you looked at it. your style is hot and original as always. you deserve all gratitude in every piece you write for these people to view. deffinatly one of my favorites of yours. good read.

    hit me & NCredible's thingy in the siggy ..good read, thanks for that.

  3. #3
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    I know i've already fed on this in SS... But i think it deserves another feed!

    As i said befor, Ernest Hemingway was a great writter of novels, may of which i've read... Therfor i apreciate this alot more than someone who isn't familar with his work, i though your aproach to the topic you chose was origional and great in it's own respects, i really thought the image you painted was amazingly beond a normal writers ability, you have an amazing talent for making a topic your own, and creating such emotion and imagery that you can almost feel your words on a physical level... You flowed it so smoothly, not just with the rhyme scheme, but also with a gentle touch of eligance to the piece, your wording was actually astonashing at times and really stood out as vividly as the imagery... i really enjoy reading your stuff man, i think you are rb's last GREAT writer, i know you don't get to drop much on rb anymore, bar for SS... but it's a real pleasure to read your pieces man...

    Thanks for that read...
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  4. #4
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Thanks for the words guys...

    i'm far from the last great anything, you guys are RB's future so the concept of a last great writer is null and void...

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  5. #5
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bounce
    Thanks for the words guys...

    i'm far from the last great anything, you guys are RB's future so the concept of a last great writer is null and void...
    Okay i edit to: last great writer at the moment...

    Just to keep bouncy;'s happy face on .. lol
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  6. #6
    Banned Rancor's Avatar
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    This peace was woven with such intrciate emotion and weaving of words that practically every line was in sync with each other. To me this was a stand up and say out loud write up. I liked the flow as it was extremely consistent and the structure, though it did make the poem look simple, was justified as it looked good overall. However, i haven't read much of Ernest Hemingway so i could not connect like maybe El Poeta could. I will however, keep an eye out as i read a lot and reading a Hemingway would only add to my knowledge. So yes i good piece from a good wrighter. Keep droppin'

  7. #7
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Thanks all

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  8. #8
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    Wow YOur poem was amazing, the way u stayed on topic but push the boundaries by going back and forth with different writing styles. THe poem had great language and your choice of words were off the charts. BUt the entire times i was reading it my mind still linger on how the mind is a crazy thing. BOunce that was great 5 stars dude

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  9. #9
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    This was a very in depth and conceptional piece. I liked the flow and consistant structure of the verses and poetic chorus's that followed them. The concept was fairly original and the vocab was creative and imaginative. The imagery was one of my favorite aspects of the piece and the way you used your words to paint an image shows your talent. I like how you use actual pictures at the heading of your piece to open up the image, I might have to steal that from you ; )
    Great Piece.

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  10. #10
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Thank you,

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  11. #11
    Abraxas
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    Damn.
    That was fucking deep.
    So much was expressed your imagery was astounding and the emotion was phenominal.
    starved for blood in a world
    ...of bleeding arts,
    the drinking starts at the jugular
    ...of beating hearts
    I loved that line. Should be qouted.
    Had the thought of a Vampire.
    Damn keep the dope masterpeice work up.
    Percept Shun

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Dyl's Avatar
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    Ok bro this was very deep and you really did show some amazing creativity and the imagery was fantastic.Your wordplay was flawless and it all really flowed very smoothly.It was a very intresting topic you chose in my opinion and I like where you went with it.You showed how creative you can be and showed people that you can go anywhere with a story.

    effects of absinthe while absent from original context
    melting facets of integrity like faucets of aboriginal text
    flowing forth like ice water tapped from creative veins
    of those who gorge on the flesh of metaphor and pain
    in meadows born of rain where words flower off two-lips
    & tulips shower off moonlit backdrops inked in new script


    ^That is just some of the brilliant wording you used.You explained everything to the very last detail and I thought it was an excellent read.
    Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
    On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....

    But how you fall doesn't matter
    Its how you land

  13. #13
    Soule
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    I liked the peice. It had a nice metaphores and wordplay. The structre was bleh but the flow was nice. And the overall story was great. Loved reading this. Keep it up. Can you hit up Man In Black for me? Thankz.

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