What do you do in the middle of the night,
when it's dead dead quiet,
and your mums asleep, and your dads asleep,
and the door is shut, and the light is out,
and the room is dark,
and the curtains drawn, and your on your own,
your bed is warm, and your dream was rude,
and your hands restless, and your knob is hard,
have a wank - have a wank - HAVE A MOTHER FUCKING WANK!
I'm getting out my cock, I pull my foreskin back,
I reveal my acorn and give it a little smack,
I'm thinking of ladies, playing with their volvas,
and inserting objects, into their womens areas,
what do you do in the middle of the day,
when the tvs shit and there is nothing on,
and you got no money, and you got no beer,
and you've read the paper from cover to cover,
the radios playing a pile of shit, like darius danesh and robbie williams,
who are the two biggest cunts in the whole wide world!
have a wank - have a wank - HAVE A MOTHER FUCKING WANK!
I'm getting out my cock, i'm gonna wank for britain,
I'm cummin in a sock, and then i'll put my kit on,
I'm wankin as if, my life depended on it,
I'm picturing some tits, I'm imaginin a clit,
Come on - come on, come and have a wank with me,
Come on - come on, come and have a wank with me,
Come on - come on, come and have a wank with me,
Come on - come on, come and have a wank with me
Wank your hairy cock, wiiiiiith meeeeeee!![]()