"Deflowered Rose"

[Baron Mynd]

Enjoy or endure.



“Deflowered Rose”

Under the guise of darkness, lies a heartless, guy who hides the carcass…
…of a seven-year-old school girl back in his high rised apartment.
She'd tried her hardest,
To escape the ropes he'd tied her arms with…
…before this tyrant started to divide her garments,
And molest the child regardless.
…
The violence started, once she'd rejected his evil suggestion…
…he beat her 'til her cries for help were little more than silent yelps.
The pungent stench of his stale breath, clung to her pale flesh…
…and she balled her fists at each sordid kiss, placed upon her by his morbid lips.
A single finger prised open the pink insides of this shrinking violet...
...and as his assertive hand plundered her cervic glands -
He barely blinked an eyelid.
Rose couldnt bring her eyes to meet the glare of this demon,
So, tearfully, she stared at the ceiling - Feeling her innocence tearing and bleeding...
His arms were strong and sculpted,
With veins that fed him copious strength...
...as he made a grope for her neck, held her over the bed and choked her to death.
...
Now under the guise of darkness,
There lies a heartless guy who's prides departed,
That roams the streets hoping to find his targets...

To Be Continued ..

[Baron Mynd]

Replied To -

Every Single Friday.
By Evolve

`Misery-from-Torture:
By :NyKali:

And a tonn of others, as usual. I spend more time in this forum than anywhere else ..

[Baron Mynd]

Blah. Why do I even bother anymore?

[Dyl]

Ok there was some great imagery here and emotion was brilliant here also.I would have really liked a longer piece because I was really getting into the storyline.Your emotion really held my attention.You talked about such a serious thing and displayed it very well.Structure worked and i liked the way you did it too.Storyline was very good also,you did not go off track and you stuck to what you were saying.Overall it was a great piece and I am most definatly looking out for more of your pieces bro.Great work


Could you drop feed On Herasy.Tanx
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=282465

[Evolve]

Cam you are my hero!! LOL.. In all seriousness, i thought this was flawless. The imagery, word choice.. everything worked together. The story was a little desturbing but entertaining none the less. I look forward to the rest. Well done. One

[Baron Mynd]

^ I actually fucking lost with this verse in the SS league last week. Lol. But yeah, I thought it was pretty flawless too, not bad for my first return to topical shit.

Goddamn do heads sleep these days though ..

[b-absolute]

i liked this cam, the imagery was defintley on point. felt like i could see what was going on. the story behind it had me waiting to read the next line. to me everything was on point and it was a nice read, cant wait to see the rest of the story. on point most def. peace

[Nique.]

Should've finished it. I would've nominated it, but besides that I liked that you were able to provide readers with imagery and a sick rhyme scheme, especially in the first stanza. I was feeling the introduction because I got into your piece, which made me mad that you didn't finish it. No point in having it to be continued. I liked the emotion that you portrayed in that little girl. Good shit for the first part.

Under the guise of darkness, lies a heartless, guy who hides the carcass…
…of a seven-year-old school girl back in his high rised apartment.
She'd tried her hardest,
To escape the ropes he'd tied her arms with…
…before this tyrant started to divide her garments,
And molest the child regardless.
…

^Feeling it.

-Nique

[Plain-Thug]

I really felt this peice Cam...you got sum great skillz...first off the topic was creative and interesting..the flow was excellent..strucutre was alrught..rhymes were nice and imagery was great through out the whole peice...i was feelin it a lot man...very enjoyable to read..keep it up..peace

[shazzzzzar]

nice peice. strong topic to write about. nice imagery, and great vocab. the flow was pretty consistent. it really could of been a lil longer, but at least you put the 'to be continued...' ill definately be lookin out for Part 2. great drop, keep 'em comin.

[mc pyro.]

nice wit this really spoke to me i gotta say deep and complex and all i got a feeling from it the imagery was great and story was good ima describe it as huanting if ya know what i mean u had had some nice rhymin in here and that flow was off da chain stay up
leave feed on my om the broken mirror

[Baron Mynd]

No doubt.

Good looks all ..

[Steven William]

Cam you just came back too? Haha, nice drop for a comeback ..

Imagery was dope here - and yeah the multis/internals that you
always come with were pretty sick. I liked the first verse the most
it kept me wanting to read and that part was just flawlessly written
in my opinion. You know what your doin' still so keep droppin' them
dope OMs man.

Oh and Please drop feed on my OM ..
When Time Stood Still - Ft. Superb
It's at the top right now .. no one replies to good OMs anymore

[mcakbar]

"Now under the guise of darkness,
There lies a heartless guy who's prides departed,
That roams the streets hoping to find his targets..."

^Definately my favourite lines here.

"So, tearfully, she stared at the ceiling - Feeling her innocence tearing and bleeding..."

^Sickness in it's fullest here. Both the image and you for thinking it.

Overall, thought it was a good topical OM, got any other topics to rhyme about? Maybe without the sickness next time? Definately got potential to rise to the top in Open Mic.

[puBLISSity]

yo that was sum ill shit
how tha hell u lose wit that verse lol?
but i aintgonna dick ride ya tho

str8 up
emotional
powerful