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Thread: Old Bill in the Vill

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Old Bill in the Vill

    now, who likes getting chased by old bill??
    i do...... just cause i enjoy the thrill,
    of jumpin into bushes and tryn to keep still,
    man, the feelings better than popping a pill,
    wow man you must be a real rebel,
    nah not really just like to keep my head level,
    we throw bangers, and watch em like street dragons,
    then scatter when the pigs roll up in meat wagons,
    i dont see what all the fuss is,
    just cause we threw some shit at some stupid busses,
    yo, the vill was still quite packed
    but he still threw it and the window still got cracked,
    pigs acting as if we'r a toxic spillage,
    6 fuckin cameras in one little village,
    not including the secret ones you cocks,
    yeah we know about the one in the brown box,
    and just when we start to enter,
    theres cameras in the flat next to the community centre,
    we'r the rain which their tryin to drought,
    theres probly loads more that we dont even know about,
    as if we'r diseased like the plague,
    they watch us like we'r mice in a fuckin cage.


    we only come out at dark, dont even start,
    we'r not for the weak-of-heart, so dont try and be smart,
    we just want to piss around,
    have a laugh, and drink on the mound,
    but they stop us from doing what we love so much,
    thats why when old bill comes along we show no love,
    but still keep away from p.c. plod,
    why? cause you'll get nicked you silly sod,
    so keep quite, and keep low,
    if you see pigs in the vill, dont go,
    just move on to a new place,
    and then you can get pissed out of your face,
    but remember if any enemies come down men,
    just make sure they all get their heads kicked in,
    they pick on us just cause we thuggin,
    man i never nicked nuthin, why am i banned from budgens,
    well i guess i flow like the sea man,
    i probably got banned cause of fat leanne,
    she gets kicks out of throwin kids out the shop,
    well she was a girl who was born with a cock,
    our boat will never be rocked,
    we'r stubb our speed will never be stopped,
    cause we rule without peace,
    so dont talk to me about police,
    cause we'r Stubbington...South East in your Mouth Piece

    Please leave feedback on it

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=280842
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=280889
    there my two links of feedback that iv given

    "I Make Everyone In The Hood Fear, Cause I Stick To the Road Like Goodyear"


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  2. #2
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    pigs acting as if we'r a toxic spillage,
    6 fuckin cameras in one little village,

    but they stop us from doing what we love so much,
    thats why when old bill comes along we show no love,


    yeah u had sum good rhymes and flows in this spits... some rhymes got a bit meh... flows was good but maybe consistant from bar to bar in places.. cud make a good audio song still if u drop it proper and give it good character...
    some parts got a bit silly

    like-

    she gets kicks out of throwin kids out the shop,
    well she was a girl who was born with a cock,


    was a sure no no

    work on some of the lyrics

    1

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    yeh i know i was jst tryin to complete the verse but i will def edit the whole thing before i think bout recordin it

    "I Make Everyone In The Hood Fear, Cause I Stick To the Road Like Goodyear"


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  4. #4
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    lmfao i agree wit ninja.. this was good stil.. had great flow & rhymes.. but minor shiit like that fucked it up a lil.. but chea then fo' sure would sound better on audio..
    i looked at this title... like & after readin it yeah it was good.. jus think of a better topic.. 1st verse slightly better.. but then thee 2nd one was aiite 2.. jus got better like towards thee end.. keep writin b.. & do peep my o.ms in my sig.. 1lurv
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  5. #5
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    read da rules.

  6. #6
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    huh? who u talkin 2!
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  7. #7
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    I really didnt like this piece Sorry but you had no structure your flow was choppy you had no imagery and you had 2nd grade vocabulary the topic didnt make any sence i dont mean to be men but dont add dots it makes your flow and structure fall off

  8. #8
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    lmfao u dead? leave feed in my o.m.. in sig
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    thanks laydee snypah ill have a look at your at your o.m.s and hu u talkin to haji?

    "I Make Everyone In The Hood Fear, Cause I Stick To the Road Like Goodyear"


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  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    prolly himself as always...
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  11. #11
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