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Thread: Lost love.

  1. March 21st, 2006, 04:23 PM #1
    Poeta Demonio
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    Lost love.

    Lost love.


    'Dude my girl just left me, like WTF man'

    She pact up and left with-out a letter or even a note...
    She was my soul mate, man how will i be able to cope...
    The taste of her lips vacant from my loving tender kiss...
    Please ryan help me get her back, i seriously can't handle this.


    Tesalations pulsating through my deselate mind...
    So as i leave for the door, the tears render me blind...
    A laugh of sheer pain shines through the tears...
    The ironicness of the fact i've wasted all these years...
    I could have been so happy if i had just deserted her home...
    Yet instead my persistance has castrated my heart, shes gone.
    But why demolish myself about it, it's her fault any how...
    I'm sure i'll get by just fine, living a life of with-out.
    Translucent memory, i mean can i actually remember anything good ?...
    All i can invision is what if, buts, and shoulds.

    5 months later:

    She still isn't resided by my side, no matter what i do...
    She says 'I'm sorry but i'm so much happier with-out-you'...
    That hurts, but maybe shes correct in her views...
    Endulging in needless pain, confussion, mentally bruised.
    Deliverance from hate, i'm not gonna allow myself caught up...
    Yet i can't promise that it will be ending abrupt.
    I've broken all contact, refused to even talk it through...
    In my eyes, theres no other way to let go, get to...
    Releif from stress, consiquences unkown to the senses...
    Breaking down my barriers, opening up, take down my fences.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=280637
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=280349
    Last edited by Poeta Demonio; March 21st, 2006 at 04:28 PM
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  2. March 21st, 2006, 04:28 PM #2
    Kid Corleone
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    i liked it. good topic, good flow and good imagery. alot of emotion in the piece keep it up and i especially like the ender i thought it closed the whole piece nicely

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  3. March 21st, 2006, 04:29 PM #3
    Poeta Demonio
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    Thanks...

    Upping.
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  4. March 21st, 2006, 04:31 PM #4
    bennett
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    yo verbal check out the diss we done against the south side swaggaz lol
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  5. March 21st, 2006, 04:45 PM #5
    Poeta Demonio
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    Ermm brix will close it, there is no diss verses aloud in Om.
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  6. March 21st, 2006, 05:07 PM #6
    juvi
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    Good work man. i wasnt really feeling the first verse. but there rest was tight.
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  7. March 21st, 2006, 07:16 PM #7
    Poeta Demonio
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    Thanks, upping.
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  8. March 21st, 2006, 07:46 PM #8
    2hot2handle
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    This was good, would be better at audio. Just increase ya vocab even though it is still good. Keep workin and writin on what ya doin. I liked the topic and how you set up this piece. Definetly work on ya structure, thats a necessity. But good job.

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    View this from last year^
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  9. March 21st, 2006, 08:34 PM #9
    ...Dusk2Dawn...
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    Aight dis was a preety good drop...Could have had more multis and better vocab but da flow was good and da topic got me into it....good structure also just wor kon da multis and vocab my dude...keep it up 1
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  10. March 22nd, 2006, 01:56 PM #10
    Poeta Demonio
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    Errm thanks, upping.
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