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Thread: Feelings inside

  1. #1
    Aged Like Fine Wine
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    Feelings inside

    Give back feed

    Feelings inside

    When men cry dey dont cry they just cry inside
    its because they real feelings what they tryin to hide
    cuz dey gotta show strength when its time to hide
    and dey gotta show courage when its time to ride
    gotta hide they tru feelings that they scared to die
    gotta tell they family everythings alright
    even if they know it aint its ok to tell a lie
    cuz the truth really hurts so remember that
    when ya bastard kids ask where the daddy at
    some survive with what they got on they backs
    they always tryed hard but the crack held'em back
    how you gonna feel cofident inside when you alwayz fail
    ya inside feelings is what counts not what people think... so prevail
    do what you need then do what ya want to do
    men keep to they word...but boys they just tryin to be cool
    if ya feelings inside is somthing else then what you tryin to be
    revert back to ya true self stop frontin...success thats the key

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=268538
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=269672
    Last edited by GrimmyReaps; February 9th, 2006 at 08:40 PM

  2. #2
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    uppin

  3. #3
    lady_Desiree
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    this was honestly aight better than most shit i saw but the flow is what you need to improve on to get ya shit to be better. the vocab wasnt bad, sorta basic but you did good with that the topic, you brought out strong and it was tight just gotta work on teh flow some-what at the beginin it wasnt all too good until the end and middle

  4. #4
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    iight tks for the feed

  5. #5
    J.Christ
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    even if they know it aint its ok to tell a lie
    cuz the truth really hurts so remember that
    when ya bastard kids ask where the daddy at
    some survive with what they got on they backs
    nice, i fucks w/ you on that .

    do what you need then do what ya want to do
    men keep to they word...but boys they just tryin to be cool
    if ya feelings inside is somthing else then what you tryin to be
    revert back to ya true self stop frontin...success thats the key
    take notes rugrats, i give this 2 thumb's easy. Spoke real on the whole drop, what i like to see .

  6. #6
    oh shit
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    this was tight i was feeling the flow in some ways but that needs some work as well the whole verse overall was alright you brought with ya own style and you dropped some good bars to the topic

  7. #7
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    tks yall keep givin feed

  8. #8
    hey man i like what your attempting to do with it with the emotional side of it. what you gotta do is try and expand your vocab. like you rhymed hide with hide and ride and die. its just to simple. the middle and end i agree were the best parts of it, i felt that the most. good work tho besides little things i saw.

  9. #9
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    uppin fer some feed

  10. #10
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Yeah this was a good try at tryiong to portray your feelings, many of your word can be associated with imagery and considered to have a 2nd meaning, i quite like how it flowed however next time just add more vocabulary and spend a lil more time re-reading just so you can add even more emotion, good stuff, keep it up

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! EvilJester's Avatar
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    I liked this a lot
    When men cry dey dont cry they just cry inside
    its because they real feelings what they tryin to hide
    cuz dey gotta show strength when its time to hide
    and dey gotta show courage when its time to ride
    that bit flowed well, the vocab was basic, but it worked

    do what you need then do what ya want to do
    men keep to they word...but boys they just tryin to be cool
    if ya feelings inside is somthing else then what you tryin to be
    revert back to ya true self stop frontin...success thats the key
    As J.christ said.. this bit was real good, had some aiight vocab and the flow was good on the whole, so keep it up
    Back. Again.

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! dopestspitaeva's Avatar
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    i diddnt like a lot of the rhymes..you rhymed hide with hide..something i dont like is rhymin da same words ova...flo was decent..could of had a bit more style /flavour to it tho...bit of emotion in it...
    not exactly exciting to read but decent...s

    tay1pz



    new rap verse-
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=271460

  13. #13
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    Tks yall fer that feed

  14. #14
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Closed, and now you're on the warning list for re-using links.

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