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Thread: A Night To Remember

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pharoah.'s Avatar
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    A Night To Remember

    word.......... metaphorical shit............

    yo........
    yo........
    yo........


    It was a night to remember…The night was the ninth of December
    Two thousand and four…Hundreds of folks crowded the floor
    I stood behind the curtain…Eyes ignited by splendor
    Knowing that once it lifted those folks would be mine forever

    The crowd was mesmerized from the moment I started speaking
    It’s hard to believe that it was me rocking those beats and
    Receiving shocking amounts of applause for all of my pieces
    That performance was one of the most awesome releases
    I’ve ever experienced…Hell…The lighting was splendid
    The soundman was outstanding…I almost cried when it ended
    It’s rare when every aspect of a show runs as intended
    Regardless of the planning something always comes and wrecks it
    Yet all my songs connected far more than I expected
    Cause’ I’ve seen of a lot of other artists leave their shows dejected
    Afterwards…I stood outside with my girl selling tapes
    Signing autographs and politicking with the yelling apes who
    Just before had egged me on for encores galore
    Letting me know that I could make far more on tour
    But this was more or less a hobby and I was content with life
    Just the way it was…I didn’t want know those endless nights
    On the road, never connecting with those I cared for
    Those couple hundred folks and the girl I told I’d be there for
    So I ventured back to normal life where I belonged but shit
    I’ll tell you this…I’ll never forget that night as long as I live

    It was a night to remember…A night unlike any I’ve known since
    Everyone was cheering me…Except it’s kind of weird you see
    I’ve never done a show…And none of that actually happened
    It’s just a figment of my mind I sprawled upon a napkin

    Truth is I’m a coward…The type who spites his talents
    The type who knows he’s skilled…But still dislikes the challenge
    Of trying to strike a balance…Between his need to illustrate
    The way he seems outside and his innards which are filled with hate
    You see I’ve built a gate that only few have infiltrated
    To fortify…Any piece of me I feel is sacred
    I developed this mechanism as a way to cope
    With any being who’s ever seen a piece of me and made a joke
    As I aged I found that writing rhymes was therapeutic
    I still remember the first rhyme I shared with you kids
    I was stupidly scared that yall’ wouldn’t approve it
    But when yall’ did I swear that rush was like puffing on two spliffs
    Of coke laced White Widow…Addiction was instant
    Within a year…I Moved On to the mic’ to get my Groove On
    It started out a lot of fun…But as my reputation grew
    The critics got louder and I couldn’t take the true reality
    That some who listened wouldn’t feel the things I had to say
    So I stopped sharing my work…It was tragic to say the least

    But lately I’ve managed to get back in the groove
    And that’s why you see me hanging around...Yapping at you
    The reason I'm dumping my guts on these pages is cause' that one night
    I caught the bug as if it were something contagious

    It was a night to remember…The sight stopped me right in my tracks
    A thirty-something man with a guitar and a mic’
    Performing My Songs…I didn’t like it infact
    It was god-awful…But still I came home and started to write

    He might have sucked but he had one thing that I envied
    The courage it took to turn that ‘open mic’ into a blessing
    A chance to share his passion…Without a solid backing
    Doing his thing despite the fact that the applause was lacking

    The moral I took? If you love something than do it
    And take your place on stage before it’s too late to pursue it

    Because…

    "For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
    The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"

    - John Greenleaf Wittier
    Last edited by Pharoah.; October 3rd, 2005 at 08:12 PM
    Open Mics


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    Poetry

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    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pharoah.'s Avatar
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    hold up ill get my links
    Last edited by Pharoah.; October 3rd, 2005 at 02:12 PM
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    Poetry

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    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pharoah.'s Avatar
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    Poetry

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    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....

  4. #4
    DATBOIP
    Guest
    im about to leave to go do erans,
    but i subscribed to this thread
    so ill drop by later and read it all to comment.
    thanks 4 u comment.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pharoah.'s Avatar
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    aight thanks in advanced


    still uppin this shit
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    Poetry

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    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


    Quotes HOF


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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....

  6. #6
    LISTEN
    Guest
    nice shit man, i got respect for ya. nice structure good lyrics, but the only thing is i wanna hear how it sounds recorded, jus so i could iunno.good job keep spittin

  7. #7
    The flow was what got me on this. I liked how it just rolled off naturally instead of sounding forced. The imagery was on point too, sounded real, maybe I'm missin it but did you really have a show like this? If u didn't, then the description that u had in this OM is pretty good at being deceitful. Vocab was nice too, I felt it coulda been better, but it was sufficient because the flow picked up everything else.

    I liked this and would give it an 8.75/10 overall.

  8. #8
    Good introduction. It got me into the rhyme more, the multi's were nice. I don't know if it was metaphorical as you stated, but was still a well written piece. The transition was nice from the first verse to the second one. The second verse was better than the first, though in some parts, your structure didn't let me know what word rhymed with what, and that was more towards the ending of the verse, so if anything I have to say, is just work on that part, other than that, a drop that I liked. I'll give it a 8/10.
    ~-=Like a mannequin orgy, you're all just a bunch of fake fucks=-~

  9. #9
    A few of the Chosen Lurid's Avatar
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    dope homie jus dope
    i cud feel everything u said and it felt as if i was in the audience and shit . u had a even flo throughout ur entire verse . dope im in awe 8/10 jus dope
    Notarized Artistry

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  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pharoah.'s Avatar
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    aight thanx........... uppin
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    Poetry

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    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


    Quotes HOF


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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pharoah.'s Avatar
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    bump.
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    Poetry

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    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


    Quotes HOF


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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....

  12. #12
    DATBOIP
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    back to comment.
    yea man, everything just rolled off my toung as i read it.
    flawless.
    add a beat.
    make it a song... fa reals...

  13. #13
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    Wow that shit was.... one of the best I read, you had me in the narrators shoes...u provided more imagery than needed and i wish i can compose a piece like this. That was hott...and everything was on i give this a 10/10
    EvOLuTioN iz fo Da BesT

    !.::OPEN MICS::.!


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    !.::BATTLES::.!




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    "I'm not cocky, I'm confident
    So when you tell me I'm the best, its a compliment
    "

    -JADAKISS

    I alredy read your bullshit and know your deal/
    Your raps are as true as "McDonalds" being a "healthy meal"/

    -EvOLuTioN

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pharoah.'s Avatar
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    thanx yall..........i really appreciate it....... uppin for more
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    Poetry

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    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


    Quotes HOF


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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....

  15. #15
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    why is half the second verse unrhyming?
    Always Impervious an Axis Power.


    Supermod Me.

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