Painful human

[Obscene six-17]

.. .I'm trapped in a phase of mistery, stuck thinking if she misses me
and if she see's, the future if we will be, but thats not likely
I'm just selfminded and dont want to see the truth, becuase it hurts
And trying not to stress it just makes it worst, so the pain will lurk

Untill the day i man up and face reality, that actually
We were never meant to be, and remain together happily
Not looking at it as a tragedy, is kind of pitiful cuz i just cant see it
All i know is she was the reason, my heart never stop beating

But i guess she was just a miner subsetute, ive sufferd enough abuse
So i express to you's, the fact i was used, and what im going through
Because i was told it helps, which i need to cope the cards i was dealt
Because i'm not given a second hand, so i ask around b4 i fold or quit on myself

I live life looking down on myself, which i assume is not a good thing at all
But i feel i dont have enough power, to get up and move on from my fall
so once again i can trip, and get mixed up with, just an another average chick
another one of those bastard tricks, So i wear an invisable suit, and a mask that matches it. ..

[chadillac]

Wow!Very descriptive and powerful. Funny how I'll rate you when that's real too you. If ever in doubt go for the game. You're either in or out. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. You will always be a second class someone else, only a first class you.I just got done seein a sad movie so now I'm really sad. I love you like a brother

[Obscene six-17]

What The Fuck?¿?

[Juggalette171134]

hey ur rap kiks ass dude!

[~ladie_streetz~]

i liked this drop...
you had nice vocab and the struture was tight you had a nice flow along with it... vbery nice, everything about it on my opinion was splender, youd id good on this.......
also work on not stretchin your lines to much as well, some were stretched but you had it good on this

[Obscene six-17]

Good lucks, upping for more feedback

[~ladie_streetz~]

hit m,y piece up and see what you thought about this okay.....http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=233042

[Obscene six-17]

Upping

[Ether Spitter]

man this was simple...but I can feel ya pain....Im away from my lady as well but Im in college ya dig....ur right...if it was meant to be then it was meant to be....but ask yourself....is anything worth having worth working for?...if your tight with her and she is the same....let her know what the deal is and come real...if not then your gonna have to face your own demons my friend...i just hope the lord shows you the light...overall I thought this was an aiit drop...imagery was pretty on point...the vocab was kinda slow tho

[Paradox1080p]

nICE drop..good vocab, good content..
no need for the blue and itlaic..dont be a slut..

[Obscene six-17]

upping

[Alphabetize]

pretty good flow and ur structure was pretty good, nice job

[Obscene six-17]

Upping.

[warchild]

This was a good piece, i really felt the emotion in this verse.
Obviously the concept was your relationship with some chick and the situation was fucked up, in a lot of these pieces the emotion tends to be corny but i felt you really good job of getting your feelings out on paper.
Your vocab matched the emotion that made the piece stand out to me, i think it would make a better poem than an actual rap but it was good none the less. The flow wasnt nice but it was still a good piece, the last two bars really finished the story off well. Try and add some multies into your verses and i think you'd be a good writer, keep writing and posting.

Return the feed on my verse please:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234259

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.