Almost died for them (a unused SS verse)

[.Silence.]

ALMOST DIED FOR THEM


It was about around december 21,1999..
I was workin at pizza hut,I was 17 around the time..
saw these posters in the window,wondering whats goin on..
It was a picture of my boy missing,and I fell to the ground..
shattern into tears,coming out of my eyes like rainstorms..
cuz he was my right hand man,got kidnapped with no warning..
So I went to my friend and asked him why hes missing..
He saod,"because they thought he would snitchso they had to kill him"..
I didn't believe it for a minute until I saw the news..
They said that the missing bodies found,I just got real stiff..
And then they showed the killers,they were still on the run..
So I got real angry,and started loading up my gun..
went out the front door,bloods rushing through my veins..
Cuz the pain my nigga felt,I was feeling the same..
went around the block for about 30 minutes..
And then I saw them,and I just started shooting..
Bullets goin everywhere,like the vietnam war..
But then 3 shots hit me,I thought I was goin to the lord..
blood pouring out,then I went into shock..
woke up 2 days later,thinkin I'm gonna get locked up..
The cops looked at me,said nothins gonna happen..
cuz my boy said it was self-defense,the other guys clapped first..
But now my boys dead,I still have this in my memory..
From the day he was alive,and the day he went to the cemetary..
But thats how it is when my best friend is dead..
I go all out for them even if it sends me to my death bed..

This song is deicated to my boy Eddie who was kidnapped and killed in 1999-2000 rest in piece my nigga

heres my two links

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224170
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219891

[.Silence.]

come on don't sleep on this

[sILLable]

not too bad..but your rhyme scheme was off through out this whole piece..ive most definately read better pieces from you..this whole piece was simple..lacking complexity in any aspects aside from a small bit of complexity in your wordplay..everything elese was way too simple...keep elevatin...ive seen better from you..~1~

[.Silence.]

thanks man for the feedback

[.Silence.]

uppin for feedback

[wyte boy$]

o my god u did it again........
i feel u 4 real.......thats some real shit..........
keep droppin the real

[.Silence.]

thanks for the feedback

[Lil Drew]

Good Shit Man

[.Silence.]

thanks for the feedback

[EyeBite]

really good drop here, overall everythiong was pretty damn good, keep elavting and keep droppin, work on da vocab and complexity a bit more and it would get anoverall of 9/10, but now it's a 8.2/10, peace homie, and post feed in my drop emotions(return favor), thanks

[.Silence.]

thanks for the feedback and I'll go check your shit out

[HawkEyes]

Va this was a pretty nice verse I can fell where you coming from and you did a good job on wordplay your structure was alittle shacky but verse was well you work on the rhyme scheme in was simple but I don't take that against you cause most of our good rappers where simple good job but I seen better work from you

7.5/10

[Bounce]

Actually for the newer members you do show a little potential right now, you just need to work on developing your concepts and incorperating a much needed complexity within your writtens. It's a good thing you are in SS, that will prove to be benifical to your elevation. No where near what I would expect out of an SS member, but if you keep at it you will get there.. You need to break away from that conventional scheme of rhyme, there are so many things you could do as far as scheme goes, you have a ways to go, but if you hang in there you'll get better.

-Bounce

[Johnny 6-feet]

It was an ok drop, i wasn't really feeling the subject matter or the vocab you worded it in. I think you could've worked a little harder on your imagery although the content was ok. The rhyme scheme could've been a lot more sophisticated too. This is still better than half the drops in here though. Keep elavating, keep posting.

[.Silence.]

thanks for the feedback guys