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Thread: The Lost Soldier

  1. #1
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    The Lost Soldier

    Boom…
    The sky lit up with unnamed colors, as bombs hailed down to Earth
    The threat was real as mass destruction annihilated God’s birth
    Hope vanished as the thought of peace was carried out on a stretcher
    And our Father cried as Mother Nature cracked under the pressure
    All living organisms were burned alive, death surrounded all
    And our once thriving advanced society, screeched and then stalled
    The sky was black with smoke and hate, the ground was a fiery land
    As flames leaped to lick the sky, flickering over the damned
    A single body laid untouched, high above the carnaged face
    Peering out over the pending extinction, of the human race

    He sat upon the baron waste, that once he called his home
    A desolate place suiting the devil’s taste, with only rubble and stone
    An army vet of thirteen years, with no rivals left to hunt
    Nuclear threat was no more, because everything was used up
    He stared across the battlefield, where corpses fried in midday heat
    The stench was almost too much to bear, rotting life and singed meat
    Looked as far as his eyes could see, but saw nothing to regret
    His M-16 lay at his feet, lost without an enemy target
    Not knowing what he should do next, he walked towards tomorrow
    He held his bleeding heart in his hand, covered in blood and sorrow
    Searching for any signs of life, or comfort from what was past
    Searching for any future that he might salvage and unmask
    He stumbled through ghost towns that weren’t there the day before
    So new that even the risen ghosts, were left confused and bored
    Dust and soot masked the air, and left the sun deeply hidden
    Apocalypse had finally come, what God started Man had finished
    He cried and yelled up towards the heavens, why did he survive?
    Billions of people disintegrated, yet he was left alive
    He wished he died and that was that, for now he was truly lost
    He had won this persistent war, but was it worth the cost?
    A few achievements here and there

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  2. #2
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    ....
    A few achievements here and there

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  3. #3
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Damn this should not be slept on. The story was amazing lyric. I really liked the imagery alot. & you only added to it with great details. Overall this piece was real good man, good to see you writing again.

  4. #4
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Thanks Fore
    A few achievements here and there

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  5. #5
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    more?
    A few achievements here and there

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  6. #6
    .Angelic. shawty"B"'s Avatar
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    Ben, this is a great story! It captured me for the very beggining, you have wonderful imagry in this, and the emotion just jumps out at you! Your word choice was seemingly perfect for the setting. And the other thing that I noticed about this poem is that it speaks on many different levels, a story, an inspiration, and a question that runs through many peoples minds...... you did a great job writing this poem hunny! And this doesn't deserve to be slept on.... You always seem to amaze me with your poems!

    keep droppin....



    ....bless

    ~*UnO*~

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  7. #7
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Thanks hun
    A few achievements here and there

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  8. #8
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    ewwww this was nice you had a nice build up at the beginning the story was just nice period,no area had me bored at all i was interested throughout the progress of the piece,the emotion a felt was nice, but was got me was the imagery i mean great imagery you had man the details and expression of the piece was remarkable....thanks for having me peep this piece man nice READ
    AI

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  9. #9
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    thanks...up
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  10. #10
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    I think this piece was great. I loved the description in it, and how I visualized everything on your subject. I liked this piece, great job!

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  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Rein Ryder's Avatar
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    Re: The Lost Soldier

    holy! i just joined but this is amazing, so much imagery i could clearly see the scene, and the vocab is amazing, i loved the description, like the ways you used ur metaphores and personafaction, sauch as
    "As flames leaped to lick the sky, flickering over the damned"
    (that had to b my favourite line)and the story line it is amazing, seriously i really enjoyed reading it, nuthin was boring. adn i know i just joined but every line gave me so much amazement except these lines, nuthing wrong with it just nuthing so like WOW poping up.
    He stumbled through ghost towns that weren’t there the day before
    So new that even the risen ghosts, were left confused and bored
    Last edited by Rein Ryder; April 14th, 2008 at 08:16 PM

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