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Thread: Turn it up only to Turn it Off... SS Verse

  1. #1
    Po'Ethics
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    Turn it up only to Turn it Off... SS Verse

    Turn it up only to Turn it Off
    .
    .
    .

    From the stagnant seeds of life from which we grow,
    To the pods of ceased existence towards which we slow.
    Life is but a mere dial turning in monotonous motion,
    One might argue that we are a blank slate, a plausible notion?
    Etching experience upon our foundations from birth,
    Formulating theories, ideas, emotions... From which we attain mirth.
    But amidst the dancing laughter of our childlike cell structure,
    In our deep thought ridden mind, contaminated, in a physical rupture.
    Behind the happy memories and favourite ideas lies our true selves,
    A thought so forgotten that it is but a fable even to your own self...
    .
    .
    .

    For despite the teachings from predecessing generations,
    And despite the leechings from the new human manifestations.
    Our minds are limited, they reach terminal velocity to an extent,
    Degrees and honours for our physical limitations partaking in an event?
    Education is but a mere shroud to appease the blind masses,
    Brains are but muscles to fill the gaping ignorant expanses.
    Despite grinding glances and admiring smiles, we're a lost cause,
    If only they could see this, if only they could hazard a pause.
    .
    .
    .

    Screaming down to you as my very organs shiver,
    Yet the only thing I sense is pity, and only a sliver.
    "THIS IS MY MESSAGE" I shout to the thunder in contradiction,
    "IT ALL MEANS NOTHING" I explain, in further misunderstood conviction.
    Arms flailing, life fading, message failing, I grip the railing,
    Leaning over their scowls and laughs, while clapped by incesant raining.
    Standing in an inhuman pose atop a dull grey building talking to my public,
    They're waiting for ME, MY message, MY life, MY ever relevant subject.
    .
    .
    .

    Echoing splatters carry through my rice paper ear drums,
    Releasing the pain and falling to the sane floor coated in rum.
    Standing in confusion at these disgusting thoughts of anger and loss,
    Looking at the television my pale reflection stares back, lost.
    Reaching my hand slowly to my aged face, panicking, crying, misunderstanding,
    Falling to my broken knees in an attempt at standing.
    My face screaching down the static screen leaving a trail of blood diluted sweat,
    The words emblazoned across the TV rip into his forehead in debt.
    Falling dead the television fades, however, the message is maintained,
    My head continues his dream as my philosophy is left to entertain.
    .
    .
    .
    "Because beyond this life is another far beyond this trough,
    It's but a test, a message, for we Turn it up, only to Turn it Off."
    .
    .
    .
    By I, I mean Me, through which I mean They, which implies We,
    Albeit ultimately One, which is inherently I, leaves me.
    - Deviate


    Po'Ethics Lives

  2. #2
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    this without a doubt is the nicest shit ive seen on here so far..i am very impressed, i absolutely love topical pieces, this was an enjoyable read

    Screaming down to you as my very organs shiver,
    Yet the only thing I sense is pity, and only a sliver.
    "THIS IS MY MESSAGE" I shout to the thunder in contradiction,
    "IT ALL MEANS NOTHING" I explain, in further misunderstood conviction
    i mean damn, ya flow vocab and depth is juss superb man, i hope there is more spots open on th topical league, i would love to battle ya, to be honest

    For despite the teachings from predecessing generations,
    And despite the leechings from the new human manifestations.
    Our minds are limited, they reach terminal velocity to an extent,
    Degrees and honours for our physical limitations partaking in an event?
    Education is but a mere shroud to appease the blind masses,
    Brains are but muscles to fill the gaping ignorant expanses.
    simply amazing i am very impressed, the images i got in my head was nice...thanx for the read man

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  3. #3
    Po'Ethics
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    Last edited by Deviate; July 25th, 2005 at 04:36 AM
    Po'Ethics Lives

  4. #4
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    For despite the teachings from predecessing generations,
    And despite the leechings from the new human manifestations.
    Our minds are limited, they reach terminal velocity to an extent,
    Degrees and honours for our physical limitations partaking in an event?
    Education is but a mere shroud to appease the blind masses,
    Brains are but muscles to fill the gaping ignorant expanses.
    Despite grinding glances and admiring smiles, we're a lost cause,
    If only they could see this, if only they could hazard a pause.

    - This whole section was just ill as fuck. Love the vocab and how u laid it out.

    But amidst the dancing laughter of our childlike cell structure,
    In our deep thought ridden mind, contaminated, in a physical rupture.

    - These were great lines.

    Reaching my hand slowly to my aged face, panicking, crying, misunderstanding,
    Falling to my broken knees in an attempt at standing.
    My face screaching down the static screen leaving a trail of blood diluted sweat,
    The words emblazoned across the TV rip into his forehead in debt.

    - Very nice section as well.

    Overall:
    This was a very well done track. Best I've seen on here so far. Keep it up. Peace.

  5. #5
    Wow man, i dont think i can give ya any feedback to help ya elevate cause that verse was fire man, nice. vocab was dope, multies were nice, flow was on point. good track man imma try and find more tracks from ya to read

  6. #6
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Dev real nice shit man I really liked it... There weren't to many multies but your flow was nice none the less... The storyline was real good and it was right there I didnt have to figure shit out or anything real dope drop... I'ma nominate this man...

    RTF
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=214578

  7. #7
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    i enjoyed this piece alot...very captivating...its safe to use that word to describe this piece....all the aspects were covered and very dopely done..hahaha...your vocab and imagery stood out to me the most...very ill and i suggest droppin more pieces...a little more emotion but even that was pretty much covered...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~


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  8. #8
    Po'Ethics
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    Left feed for those who asked, and gave two links. Thanks for all the feedback and the nomination from Foreshadow...
    Po'Ethics Lives

  9. #9
    Wordbenders Jawn Raw's Avatar
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    ay thanks for the feed on my om.

    appreciate it

    anyway um i thought that your flow was a little off some what a little bit i've seen you write some real rank shit but this was still good im feelin it nice stucture decent flow i guess, the imagery is very good you have a very good part in tellin stories in your pieces, the emotion was very good. the vocabulary was very good as well all though i really think you should work with multiples i think your capable of it, very good writer i wanna see more man.

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  10. #10
    Po'Ethics
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  11. #11
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    wow mayne a real nice piece...the point was clear therefore i didnt have to think bout shit too much which is a rarity nowa day's..there wernt too many multis however the flow was decent and it was a good storyline..nice shit homie keep it up ight 1

    yo can u hit my OM in my sig thankz

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    Back to settle a score with you whores
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    You Cats Thought I Left Fo Good
    Yo Motha Fuckers Was Mistaken

  12. #12
    Po'Ethics
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    Up again...
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  13. #13
    The Vendetta
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    Niuce Work Man Verse Was Well Done. Emotion Was Really Good Here, You Had A Good Vocabulary Run Going Here. You Had Some Good Structure Here. The Rhyme Scheme Was Meh Though But It's A Topical So It Don't Really Matter. Dawg You Even Had Some Good Imagery Here Which Was Really Good Man Nice Going Dope Piece.

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! SpItIt13045's Avatar
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    nice

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  15. #15
    Po'Ethics
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    Uh... Thanks
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