Game Over

[Sublime D]

Could it all be so simple?
The shame, the shame…
To make it all go away?
The pain, the pain...
Who really knows how to play?
The game, the game…
And who is watching over me?

Now I see with a greater degree of clarity
A rarity of sight for youth in spite of truth
Told, lies…what does the real truth hold,
The hive, fold, tries to suppress the bold.
Here I lay though, cold, shivering in the
Night of endless darkness, soul hardness
Tries to bolster spirit and survive, starkness
Of thought, and ease of mind…virtues
I can no longer find…Divine, God
Sweet supine façade, or it seems at times.
I know sublime Lord, is kind to the horde.
But what sword causes many as I to implore
And beg for the more of the joy and the less
Of the pain, what lesson attained, warrants
Loss of the sane, lost to a game, or life
One in the same, with similar price…

Could it all be so simple?
The shame, the shame…
To make it all go away?
The pain, the pain...
Who really knows how to play?
The game, the game…
And who is watching over me?

They say to live life with an eye on the prize…
What if your only goal in that same life is to die?
The life I despise like a dull knife to the eyes,
Sometimes, others it’s good to be live, (sighing)
But getting to those times it’s hard trying
Divining future trials, tribulations for miles
The path of pith and pitiful myths, with a,
Continuum with a cynical wit, Sensible whip
Splitting brains like sides of a sinking ship
Descending to depths of a new trip, Hell waits,
For those too sinful to pass Heaven’s Gates…
“Heaven can wait”, that statement is all that it takes..
To bring the strongest of all to the brakes...a halt in space,
A ripple in time, in that limbo I write this rhyme…
Combining time to achieve two goals of mine
Now do you recognize the danger signs?

Could it all be so simple?
The shame, the shame…
To make it all go away?
The pain, the pain...
Who really knows how to play?
The game, the game…
And who is watching over me?

My gold to find at the end of the rainbow…
Broken promises and me without a raincoat…

[Sublime D]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...47#post2778947
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...19#post2779019

[ColtYTRecords]

Nice shit the chorus/hook wasnt that great... but da 2nd verse was my favorite nice written.

[Apostle OS]

shit dope on the poetry tip, you got good vocab, sometimes you be usin the same worrds through out the whole thing, you need to be more persistant wit the good vocab then yould be smoothin, adn try bein a lil more particular, not too much but you gotta understand you might know what you tlakin about or some one smart, but other people might forget half the shit you said in the beginin cause they slow, writin is meant for communication, know what im sayin, i like your shit a lot though, thats why im bein rough, keep up wit that shit man, -respect-
-O.S.-

[Quarantined]

Didn't like the chorus. But this was a good poetic drop. I liked the way you swayed from the standard 'rhyme the last word of the line with the last word of the previous', it really helped along it's poetic features. The imagery wasn't that great but poetry is meant to be abstract and makes you think. It will probably take a while for me to fully understand the jist of this of this verse, maybe I'm just slow to pick up on things. But I'll read it over to see if I can fully understand it. Stay on it, - Quar.

[Dan Dare]

This wasn't very fluid, at times it stuttered, and it was a little fragmented. Then on the other hand, it seemed to read very nicely. It had an odd sort of rhythm, a method to your madness if you will. But I liked the message and the content.. this was very.. heartfelt, and very.. eloquent, I'd say. Nice drop I think on the whole.