Follow The Leaner

[Moniker]

An arabian disguise, holding soldiers in straight lines.
Tomorrow will be a mind-field, so be open to each step
or walk across heads ready to climb into a death bed.
But before night fall we call to the creator of craters

"Oh dear Lord,
ignore my ignorance. I'm praying for victory
over our enimies. Watch over your troops,
bring them home soon. God bless America
and damn anyone against us,
in the name of Jesus. Amen."

Who's more holy in a war were both sides
claim spiritual consent and incentives to heaven?
will you fight for salvation or ninety nine virgins?
purge this world of heathens, leave your penance
for repentance and redeem the hearts of men.

We've made religion fit like a geenie in a God bottle;
rub your bibles, sing the songs of marty's children.
Then become a saint, a sacred sinner but one to model.

With a pistol clasped between praying hands
we seek the only known roaming promised land.
Can we plan a last stand before hope disbands
and our bones sink slow into a vacant desert sand..

[Foreshadow]

Mind this was a dope poem man sorry for sleepin.. I really liked the emotion that this had and the way you wrote everything just inspired me to write whatever.. But I really liked this piece alot man..

[Moniker]

thanks shadow

[Prince Escobar]

Mind man...i didnt like this. You're skill never fails to show but the direction of this piece never really materialized for me, it seemed to have a couple of hollow rambling points but it wasnt raelly unified to me, i felt like your imagery was a fraction of the intent, it didnt really sound sloppy it just sounded rushed and bare, i've seen too good from you to lie to you and praise this piece, it was alright overall but by your standards, im not really feeling, a way of improvement would be to better enforce the visuals, and in your pieces i've grown accustomed to your sharp wit and poignancy, this piece was devoid of both, a few missteps bar this from hall of fame but a few corrections could make it that much more satisfying, as always good read, stay up, 1luv.