Life is just .. a thought when you wake up and think about it.

[Edicius]

Life is just .. a thought when you wake up and think about it.

6:30 am, the alarm clock is making his useal hyper-active sound

feels like i am falling to pieces, as i step out of my bed
another sad day, aah i feel good.. nah now im just lieying
..well its seems all good, but thats the outside, inside i am dieying
walking down my stairs, wondering what i should eat.. cereals? bread..
maybe an egg, with patato .. thoughts spinning like carousels thru my head ..
sitting down, staring at my emtpy glass of milk ..
* i really need to wash up .. and get dressed*
so i strumble up against the stairs,feels like a mount everest climb,
my mind state is a little depressed
.. entering my bathroom .. like i enterd heaven, all bright and white
till i see the shit stain inside my toilet
cause yea i had a lil party last night, and drunk people act dirty & make loud sounds..
so i returned with my feet back to the ground..
reality striked me ..
im still in the same shithole
so i turn on the water .. maybe it will enlight me..
& its a good feeling this fresh cold water in my face, some what amazed,
cause my pieces started to function
but my uncontrolled complex inside feelings,started a conjunction ..
so when i faced my mirror ..
my thoughts took over and started to tell me a story..
as the water be dripping,and i slowly brush my teeth in a some what slow-motion way
dark caves found there place under my eyes, and they are there to stay
signed me for live, but maybe to the wrong label..
putting me in sobriety; without any choice` given by a society
of blind man, though i cant stand them ..
i cant escape there ways, attached to there time plan
got me a job from eight to five, no time for my family ..
or my friends .. even myself, but thats live?
as useless as i feel, cause for my self im still not engaged in a gainful occupation,
are my dreams allready destroyed?
cause my feelings still cant comply,severe enough to make me feelin unemployed
fills me up with hummiliation ..
its just the same shit everyday, different faces.. you heard before..
cause its real! & i travel around yet see the same places..
its simple..
.. i walk, drive .. fly ..
even sail, but the world is turning against me so figure out the destination
imagine the frustration, try try try trying is all you do yet theres no salvation..
this big bubble, will never pop .. & there is no savior ..
im just an incubated induvidual trying to conceal
..my undesirable shortcomings by exaggerating desirable behaviors.

fuck life.

[Johnny 6-feet]

great topic with stunning imagery man, you had me hooked off the first 2 lines, serious. Good vocab, although i think on one of two lines you may have bombarded us with it. A good but weird rhymne scheme which fit the topic perfectly, the structure of the piece was erratic, like a stream of thoughts and so again fit the topic.

Some good work man, look forward to reading more. Btw, if you could rep my piece 'timeline' i'd appricaite the feedback.

[Edicius]

thanks for the feedback, ill hit up yours 6 feet

up

[Q.S]

I feel like that too right now! fuck life.

im still in the same shithole
so i turn on the water .. maybe it will enlight me..
& its a good feeling this fresh cold water in my face, some what amazed,
cause my pieces started to function
but my uncontrolled complex inside feelings,started a conjunction ..
so when i faced my mirror ..
my thoughts took over and started to tell me a story..
as the water be dripping,and i slowly brush my teeth in a some what slow-motion way
dark caves found there place under my eyes, and they are there to stay
signed me for live, but maybe to the wrong label..
^ yea, I quit my cru and said fuck my label.

Nice work.

[K9_THESHIT]

Whoa Eddy...very nice.the imagery was great,the way you described it was so vivid.i really liked it.the emotion was just raw,i could really feel it and relate to it.your rhymescheme is always good and complex,same as the flow.your structure was great and i liked the vocab.The end was simple..."fuck life"...but encompassed perfectly the whole piece;it was very strong...this definetly should be in top ten OMs so i'll go and nominate it.
When you have some time check "want to know a secret"

props

[ProToTyPe]

thats sum nice shit there man...your rhymes were on point..and your use vocab and imagery was crazy. I felt what you were tryin to say in each and every line and bar and it didnt turn me off from readin it after it began to get long. You mos def got potential.

[Violent.]

Yes Very Very nice eddy.

Dope imagery, gave me a great image in my head, You made me think it was me in the story. Very good
Your vocab was also dope, not too complex and not too weak. A very dope peice.

Sorry i cant leave more feed, I may edit later, but i gotta go now.

Hit up me and deviate collab.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=2481517

[The Vortex]

a load of bullshit

[BelligerentAce]

You had soem mad vocab in there.
Nice imagery.
Nice flow.
Nice everything this verse was very ill.

[Rex]

Wow... I liked it a lot.
Topic choice very introspective, nice...
Vocabulary is per usual for someone like you...
Nothing crazy above what we've seen from you before in that aspect.
The imagery of the piece and the voice are probably the strongest qualities of this verse...
Overall, I'm really impressed. Good job.
Check out my OM from SS, when you get the time.

[Edicius]

thanks

[Edicius]

up.

[Trema]

a load of bullshit

:no2:

Anyway this was a nice long written piece and i liked this one. Alot of effort put into it. The vocab was strong and there was alot of it. Edicius all your pieces have a nice rhyme scheme to it and so did this one, keep up the good work!