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Thread: Rb's DreamTeam.. Evolve, Bounce, Edicius - Iris Tattooed.

  1. #1
    beyond dope.
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    Rb's DreamTeam.. Evolve, Bounce, Edicius - Iris Tattooed.


    Evolve

    So stressed from this daily grind, perplexed is my failing mind.
    I just barely find the time to express a care free line..
    of thinking. A sinking mess with a shrinking weary spine,
    who just seems to forget every regret he's left behind.
    I've yet to respect the signs projected against my eyes..
    that are meant & designed as a defense to any lies,
    which infect my insides with deception intertwined
    with a false sense of pride that deflects & misguides
    every perspective that provides the reason that im blind.
    Couldn't see them if i tried, so i hide.. subdued into my wishes,
    that within my Tatoo'd Iris is where proof of the truth existed.
    I missed it through out my youth & was removed whithout its visit.
    So i enlisted that liquid which consumed me in an instant.
    I listened as it soothed my interest & doomed me with persistence.
    I was set to resist it but I soon resumed & got twisted.
    It's a sickness that mixes a rediculous amount of liqour
    with my inhabitons & addiction to get an instant fix for
    a piss poor alixor which has been a fixture in my fist for
    years. So many tears have a apeared on my cheek
    that the ink in my Iris has begun to smear & leak.
    It is now clear to me & i am able to see what i seek.
    And i hear the truth now.. the truth is that i am weak.

    Bounce

    PLOP, the spoon fully inserted ocular juice squirted
    no matter how ya word it, popular Bruce flirted
    with any skirted woman in sight
    despite the insanity that incited calamity,
    when invited to see her last night,
    delighted was Miss Vanity Smite,
    to rendezvous with this killer of women
    As long as he’s living, he’s sinning,
    with a million demons grinning back,
    while he goes Lizzy Borden with an axe
    Face to fax your just another office screw
    to this make shift ophthalmologist
    a real cut throat Stalinist, no stalling this
    the type to persuade then invade you
    I mean brutally fuck and raid you
    then leave you filleted once he spewed
    Accrued victims exude crude liquor & clues
    with an iris tattooed by this vicar of pews
    The sicker the news, the thicker the ooze
    When a grotesque canvas of flesh, is the muse,
    the result is an iris tattooed... Even holy men
    fall into the ranks of the depraved & the skewed…

    Edicius

    we are all attached on those strings..

    though you have this noticeable heterogeneity, we all do
    not that we are deity, but in ways we are all true..
    people characterized by the suppression of impulses
    acting with istinctive motive's and discretion in pulses
    formed together ..
    as a group of symbols and figures
    .. making a mathematical statement
    though law enforcements tryed to stop it
    .. with a rude fanatical abatement
    knowing we are all part of this system trying to teach..
    putting us in an exhilarating psychological state
    of pride and optimism though our thoughts were bleached
    people just trying to make a diference
    with an excessive enthusiasm and intense devotion
    a voice you can use but not to loud or w/ immense emotion
    and the sentiment shared by most people living in tenement
    cause we dont live in manors only face everyday struggles
    no help from any enchanters
    combined with mind growing hemorrhagic fevers
    and we as puppets are the reciever..
    with those gastrointestinal symptoms of capillary hemorrhage
    turned us all in to non believers
    resulting in to a sudden renegade
    like elemental violence, without a proper science
    releasing uncontrolled emotions resulting in a akward compliance
    & you dont need any proof, that they condemned us and our youth
    leaving us with a roughly approximate version of their truth..

    the things i see and witness, got my iris tattooed..

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  2. #2
    beyond dope.
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    replyed to:
    Fgee
    Issue

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    - Artificial Intelligence

  3. #3
    .:The Topical Guru:. Trema's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edicius

    Evolve

    So stressed from this daily grind, perplexed is my failing mind.
    I just barely find the time to express a care free line..
    ^^^I liked this, good rhyme


    Couldn't see them if i tried, so i hide.. subdued into my wishes,
    that within my Tatoo'd Iris is where proof of the truth existed.
    I missed it through out my youth & was removed whithout its visit.
    So i enlisted that liquid which consumed me in an instant.
    ^^^That was deep

    It is now clear to me & i am able to see what i seek.
    And i hear the truth now.. the truth is that i am weak.
    ^^^Good choice of words!

    Bounce

    Accrued victims exude crude liquor & clues
    with an iris tattooed by this vicar of pews
    ^^^Good good,

    The sicker the news, the thicker the ooze
    When a grotesque canvas of flesh, is the muse,
    the result is an iris tattooed... Even holy men
    fall into the ranks of the depraved & the skewed…
    ^^^That was fucking deep-nice rhymes

    Edicius

    we are all attached on those strings..

    though you have this noticeable heterogeneity, we all do
    not that we are deity, but in ways we are all true..
    ^^^Good first line,good choice of words!


    with an excessive enthusiasm and intense devotion
    a voice you can use but not to loud or w/ immense emotion
    ^^^Nice
    ..
    Overall i liked this piece and it had outstanding wordplay for real, i'm watch out for yaahl 3work in the future! piece!
    written voices makes hidden noises

  4. #4
    beyond dope.
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    okay ..

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    - Artificial Intelligence

  5. #5
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    God damn.. This was exceptional.

    Evolve had great strength of multies, they just kept coming and coming, and every line drew me deeper into the piece. Great opening. Bounce's part was strong too, I didn't totally understand some of his references though, or where he was coming from, but I enjoyed the read anyway. Very fluid, and Eddy your part spoke a lot of truth. Dope ass rhyme schemes as well. This was a rhyming masterclass, needless to say, I'll be nominating this. Great job, all of you.
    ...

  6. #6
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Why in the fuck was I left outta this?

    Now I hate you all!

    Feedback coming/will edit in later.

  7. #7
    beyond dope.
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    hop on ` in part II

    pm me 14 / 16 lines
    Last edited by Edicius; May 24th, 2005 at 09:38 AM

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    - Artificial Intelligence

  8. #8
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Booked. Will reply later on.
    can I kick it?

  9. #9
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    aiight ,first off.FUCKIN ILL PIECE!!! now that i got that out of tha way, this piece was truly phenomenal,amazin wordplay,i loved tha fuckin multis,tha structure, beautiful imagery, all in all a very ill collab,and every emcee brought them shits hard,nobody held back,keep droppin tha hottness and keep collabin too.~1~


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  10. #10
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Thanks for the looks guys, it's appreciated. Damn eddy and volve, whoa.... just whoa...

    Jek, I took another angle on this, it's basicaly a man of the cloth gone mad and his lunacies led him to murder women leaving clues tattooed on thier eyes.

    ..an iris tatooed by this vicar of pews..

    ^That line gives away his identity as a man of the clergy.. if there is anything else just ask.

    but like I said, whoa to both eddy and evolve, damn nice shit.

    Eddy, i look forward to that topical collaberations round, cuz I just thought of my concept. Get at me...

    [YOUTUBE]Av7yOXafS40?hd=1[/YOUTUBE]
    "World Class War" Official Music Video
    We can use all the views we can get, please support the Father/Daughter movement in hip hop. Do us a favor and post on your Facebook walls and such. Thank you


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  11. #11
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    Yeah, I got that he was a clergyman, I was wondering who Lizzy Borden was?
    ...

  12. #12
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    ^http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/b...65/borden.html

    peep that, it's an old high profile murder, in which lizzy took and axe and gave her mother forty whacks, then gave her dad 41...

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    We can use all the views we can get, please support the Father/Daughter movement in hip hop. Do us a favor and post on your Facebook walls and such. Thank you


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  13. #13
    off the wall thinker Meters's Avatar
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    Yeah, I like Evolve's verse most because of the straight forward hip hop approach and skillful use of mutlis but Edicius' structure was creative and interesting and Bounce's verse was...well, really gruesome and i'm just waiting for Born to come in here and comment about how much he enjoyed it. I liked the clergyman angle though, and the scheme was also interesting, face the fax and cut throat stalinst were both cool. Basically i just thought that this was a cool collaboration because of how different the content in all of your verses was, it's cool to see three good heads each take a different approach on the same topic.

  14. #14
    Newbie PAPII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meters
    Yeah, I like Evolve's verse most because of the straight forward hip hop approach and skillful use of mutlis but Edicius' structure was creative and interesting and Bounce's verse was...well, really gruesome and i'm just waiting for Born to come in here and comment about how much he enjoyed it. I liked the clergyman angle though, and the scheme was also interesting, face the fax and cut throat stalinst were both cool. Basically i just thought that this was a cool collaboration because of how different the content in all of your verses was, it's cool to see three good heads each take a different approach on the same topic.

    ???


    post some shit like this in an OM thread again and you will be banned
    -Bounce
    Last edited by Bounce; May 24th, 2005 at 12:50 PM
    need closings on these 2 battles ill rtf fo your votes ...prreciate it peace easyy


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    me and my friend vs. Kokain and Edicius before we got banned ..take a look we got cheated and banned fo nothin





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  15. #15
    .Spitualistic.
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    *Wow, just first off to say, that the people that collab'd on this piece, Dropped amazing Verses.

    Evolve:
    really complex verse, but yet easy to read, and your choice of words just grasped my attention, from wordplay, vocab. to metaphorical use, and the consistency of it all. you had imagery that made me so enthused about what you were saying, the overall emotion. Cant really break it down, b/c i was liking it completely. Just wanna say, you dropped a really good verse, cant wait to see pt. 2.

    Bounce:
    Again, just an amazing read. alaways your choice of words, and your approach towards a topic is exclusive. I really enjoyed your verse so much, the depth to your vocabulary, as well the consistency in your delivery by graspin the readers attention, (ME). structure made it even better, i dont know just seemed more intense on every line.... your wordplay, and imagery brought a sense of realism within words. I cant really say much else besides, Wow*. Thanks for droppn this pice along w/ everyone else, it gives me a sense and more of an understanding as to what is expected from a topical.


    Edicius:
    Another well written, and very good verse.
    I liked the imagery alot. I was also feelin the direction you went with your topic, I feel your choice of words were also nice, had good flow, and vocabulary was real good. the concept had me thinking. and i just hope to see more good pieces again from you as well as everyone else, your verse has given me more insight on the basis of a topical, thanks... Keep droppn

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