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Thread: Out of Germany

  1. #1
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Out of Germany

    Out of Germany.

    The rotten canvas leaks past the abandon streets.
    Leaving bloody bodies of the vanquished & meek
    Sprawled all over the putrid sidewalks, randomly.
    .. Sometimes, to get away, the route can be steep.
    Even if we give up, the Fuhrer wont grant amnesty,
    So we move from one vacant building to the next
    Seeing death of fellow Jews infuse with the threat-
    Of mortality.. So me and my family refuse to rest-
    Until we are out of this country and defuse the hex,
    Which burdens our people & builds death camps,
    But I refuse to leave this country, until the rest can.
    So we pick up stray Jews & try to help everyone.
    Soon, we are 100 deep: we stay on a steady run
    Sneaking out of the here: away from deadly guns
    That the rotten Nazi’s hold, to “keep the order.”
    We keep going & going until we meet the boarder..

    Fuck...

    The Nazi’s stands at the boarder; Our way out,
    With machine guns, in numbers that lay doubt-
    In our supreme belief that we can get out of here.
    So we all go hide inside a factory, out of fear.
    We hope they haven’t seen us, & will go away
    But our brittle belief dies with the flow of days
    1 day passes - 2 - 3 - 4 By then we’re starving
    A few men come up with the idea of charging,
    But we know we’d lose, so we stay & rot here
    As the population shrinks, many of us drop tears
    Starvation & sickness eats at us at this factory
    Death’s perfume: The stench of flesh’s got to be
    There were 100 of us, now only twenty of us alive,
    Forced to eat our friends dead flesh to survive.
    I sit in filth, crying, thinking of the Atlantic Ocean
    All hope is gone.. That’s when the factory door opens

    “Holy shit, it stinks in here!”

    The mans walks in, wearing a spotless white suit
    A red Star of David on his arm, & a matching tie too
    He enters the factory & casually walks right through.
    He’s Jewish. his star and facial structure tell me that
    I ain’t seen a Jew look good in years. I expel a laugh
    He surveys first floor, & walks through a sea of the meek.
    When I stand, the man in white turns to me & speaks

    “Only twelve of you are alive, huh? Pretty fucked, man.
    I can’t promise to save you, but maybe luck can.
    I know how to get in the sewer & use tunnels to leave.
    It’s the only way to get out but we’d tunnel for weeks,
    And have to catch and eat rats while under the streets.
    I have some bread for those who need something to eat”


    We gave all the bread to the few children left with us
    The man said tunnels, but I was unready for this stuff.
    We trudged through sewage & ate rats every damn day
    Not seeing light, the whole world became grey.
    We never would lay - We’re too weak to survive sleep
    1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - we tunneled for a, rotten, five weeks.
    By then, the kids died off and only nine of us are here.
    Through it all, we want to just give in & succumb to fear.
    ... He says we’re almost there: we are all weak & sore,
    On our last breaths when we, finally, meet a door...

    “We’re here”

    The man in white knocks on the door in a weird sequence
    The door opens & we enter a huge building.. I get tense.
    I look in the middle of the yard & I see other men in white,
    With groups of common people. Out of relief, I begin to cry
    All the men in white get together & go up some ladder
    They say they’re getting food. All I her cheers, & laughter.
    We all exchange stories of how we all used weird tunnels,
    And had to eat rats, and at night we had to bundle.
    Apparently these tunnels are everywhere, all through Germany
    That’s when everyone gets quiet & I turn and see..
    Everyone’s looking at the balcony, of all the men in white suits
    Then, before I can scream, The men in white begin to shoot

    *Black*

    In WWII, not many people know of the Jew/Jew Exterminations...

    Nazi’s got Jews to set up and kill others, for freedom & life.
    They used the tunnel to kill others & avoid personal strife.
    All say it was wrong. Some understand.. But don’t turn to me
    Because I’ll say, “you do anything, to get out of Germany”


    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  2. #2
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...92#post2328692
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...86#post2328686

    This is from my SS battle with Born to Kill. Feel free to drop votes on that in SS, hookers.;-)
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  3. #3
    beyond dope.
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    LOL at you using the same concept as i did, with the jews ..
    nice piece, story telling was very good`, and eh dope concept ! haha
    i liked the second stanza the best.. nice drop

    hit up why should thou exterminate.

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  4. #4
    Transylvania
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    I only had to read 5 lines and I was shocked. Shit is damn nice.

  5. #5
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    Hmmm, this is real good, I just nominated this. I liked the narrative tone, you held it well in that sense, imagery was in a way lacking, but it was decent. I thought that it was well written all round, the rhyme scheme was easy to read, despite it being unconventional at times.. there were a few mistakes here and there too, but nothing to disasterous. Just an all round solid write though. Nice job.

    Give this a read please if you have time?

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=186418

    Thanks.
    Last edited by Dan Dare; April 23rd, 2005 at 02:48 PM
    ...

  6. #6
    Art... K9_THESHIT's Avatar
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    really dope Wicked.i'll vote in SS later,but didn't read B2K's verse,so i can't tell which i liked more.

    The storyline was very nice,kept me focused at all time.At the beginig you've started with good imagery,but kinda lost some of it in some parts as you wrote more...but nothing really to complain.the vocabulary and wordchoices were almost all on point,but i can't critisize you here considering you wrote 48 lines...the rhymescheme was good,same as the flow...but the storyline really made this:mostly macabre,and i noticed some dark humour in there...really liked it man...i'll give ya nomination for OM of the month for it...keep it up!

    and check "anguished"(in my sig) when you have the time...

    Peace man!
    Def Poets Society

  7. #7
    Intermental
    Guest
    This is amazin, all hail to you. Pure amazin.

  8. #8
    Transylvania
    Guest
    im afraid my last comment wasnt so good. let me rephrase: i loved the imagery, the storyline, everything was superbe. this is the real shit! reading through, i could see just about the EXTREME of auschwitz...it was a horrible beauty. An extreme so deep that it was actually beautiful...i dont know why...but keep up the good work.

  9. #9
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    ^Thanks. Uppage.
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

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