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Thread: Song Cry? Nah...Song Right.

  1. April 18th, 2005, 06:03 PM #1
    Born To Kill
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    Song Cry? Nah...Song Right.

    Song Cry? Nah…Song Right.

    We’ve grown over years, shared alotta of tears…and our child’s birth...
    Overcome so many fears, and our reflections in the mirror...
    ...........................................Have shown our best sides...and worst.
    And we hung tight together, braved all kinds of weather...
    Girl, we bend but we don’t break...
    Cuz our roots run deep, so even in my sleep...
    You’re the fantasy I partake.
    Still dream about you, J...you’re my life everyday...
    And I love how you hold our daughter...
    But this new secretary...makes me forget I’m married...
    And I’m thirstin for her like water.
    So young at 23, twelve years younger than me...damn, that’s prime...
    I ain’t touched but I can see, this girl is wantin me...
    .................................................T o drop your image out my mind.
    She loves to stick her tongue, that’s how the teasin’s done...
    My mind HAS to imagine her low...
    Her tattoo'd lower back has me hungry for a snack...
    I wanna eat fore that food grows cold.
    Sad stories so alarmin, force thoughts of Prince Charming...
    Man, I could rescue this chick...
    Give the girl hope, get her off that mope...
    And set her right down on my dick.
    Other day she was on my floor, spreadin invoices for score...
    Lookin so Playboy right...
    Layin on her stomach...poses, they kept comin...
    Lettin me know I could hit that at night.
    This Belgian brunette keeps makin me sweat...so small at 5 foot 2...
    Tiny little waist, everything in place...angel eyes and perfect thighs viewed.
    All day long I gotta restrain, fight hunger pains...to avoid that kinda fling...
    I wanna have that so bad in a secret bachelor pad...
    .............................................But when I reach for her, I see your ring.
    Symbol of our bond, times we talked till dawn…makes me stop and think...
    How much it’ll hurt to sign divorce papers...
    .................................................. .With the pen I dipped in company ink.
    I was on the brink of doing wrong, so I wrote this song...
    But see, I don’t have to justify...
    Cuz I didn’t act on shit, never fucked the chick...
    When I vowed to you in marriage, I did not lie.

    S’why this song don’t have to cry…ain’t no tears in it’s eye...
    S’more a dedication of truth...
    And cuz this song sheds no tears, we’ll keep going for years...
    Because my heart’s dedicated to you.
    Last edited by Born To Kill; April 18th, 2005 at 07:54 PM
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  2. April 18th, 2005, 07:53 PM #2
    Born To Kill
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    Bounce - An Awakening

    Bounce - Hunting for Thrills (Canvas of a Madman)
    Last edited by Born To Kill; April 18th, 2005 at 08:04 PM
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  3. April 18th, 2005, 09:27 PM #3
    AL CAPONE
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    deep but u need to work on word structure just a little bit and ull see that this would be perfect
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  4. April 18th, 2005, 09:41 PM #4
    Na~Ledge
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    ^ I think I hate this dude

    Anyway, nice drop Born. Something that was personal and well written, seemed to come from the heart.. I was recently engaged, so I can really realte to this post. Your vocab was good but nothing over the top, sorta like you were actually having a conversation with your wife. i think you didi a good job of getting your point across, opf dealing with the difficulties of not geetting mixed up with a nother woman but reaming true to the person you took vows with. nice piece man.

    P.S. that was an ill verse you dropped in SS. Lookin foward to your next one.

    Holla
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  5. April 18th, 2005, 09:54 PM #5
    ExDaGawd
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    This was pretty good shit man. It had good emotion. Nice imagery and the thought of this topical was well thought out, I could tell. Lots of creativity in this. One thing you need to work on is your flow, But other then that this was a ver good drop, Lookin forward to see more drops from you.

    If you can take the time to critique my latest drop "Emergancy Room", I would really apreciate it.
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  6. April 19th, 2005, 08:53 AM #6
    Born To Kill
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    Thank you, peeps...
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  7. April 19th, 2005, 09:07 AM #7
    Dan Dare
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    Born please find an excuse to ban Al Capone. I'm sure you've got it in you.

    Anyways, I liked this. Emotional, and it seemed heartfelt - is this real? I can see you experimenting with rhyme scheme as well here, it's interesting to read. Good little drop from you.
    ...
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  8. April 19th, 2005, 09:20 AM #8
    Trema
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    yeah homs

    this is serious and you definatly got the skills,just i find it a lil un-rhmyey at times (rhymey is 1of ma own words). but i'll give it 8/10 your rhymes are poetic and um feelin dat amigo
    written voices makes hidden noises
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  9. April 19th, 2005, 09:38 AM #9
    Born To Kill
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    Yeah...it's a bit on the real side.

    And Al...I dunno, Jekyll...is he really that bad?
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  10. April 19th, 2005, 10:01 AM #10
    Edicius
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    yea this was deep ish man, i liked your opener.. catched me .. immagery thru out this piece was nice, vocab & flow on point .. and your closer closed it very well .. a nice read.. havent seen you drop in a while, you should . and yea i havent got a pm back from you .. tssk..
    props

    hit up system what?

    legendary ..

    1luv.

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  11. April 19th, 2005, 11:48 AM #11
    BlakCLouDz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jekyll
    Born please find an excuse to ban Al Capone. I'm sure you've got it in you.
    word^....

    but yo i usually read pieces but dont reply often, but this made me simply because of the different rhyme scheme u put to use.....more ppl shud play wit this style instead of just the normal ............bell/...........tell// bullshit....good drop dawg.....
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  12. April 19th, 2005, 12:17 PM #12
    Born To Kill
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    Thanks, dude...

    I'm glad SOMEONE liked my experiment in flow change up.
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  13. April 20th, 2005, 05:00 AM #13
    Edicius
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=187213
    Last edited by Edicius; April 20th, 2005 at 05:05 AM

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  14. April 20th, 2005, 08:11 AM #14
    Born To Kill
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    Aight, Ed...

    I ain't even been online for you to give me that smilie...

    Chill, amigo!
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  15. April 20th, 2005, 09:08 AM #15
    Edicius
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    COMPADRE, IM A LIL STRESSD Y0 YOU KNOW

    1luv

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