User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Celebrate

  1. #1
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    2,930
    Battle Record
    1-3
    Awards Haiku Season Champion

    Celebrate

    Let the future be my crutch for the past and present;
    Never let opinions design the truth or essence.

    City sidewalks are nothing more than a concrete canvas
    for me to tag my fifteen minutes of fame, street lights
    are the modernized way of personification; a totem pole
    of life’s ambition caged in the faces of red, green &
    yellow.
    The red represents the white culture, they tell me.
    The yellow, the black.
    Green as our society.
    I think humanity has become colour blind.
    The Asian grocery shop robbed of business by the neighbours,
    the weapon & arms store, and your abortion clinic. Don’t label
    me a cynic ‘cause my smile is more of a defined tight rope
    where meek words fall short of crossing ear-to-ear. Reality
    is a noose.
    Freedom is on trial, with hope as his witness.
    Freedom is red, green, and yellow.
    Freedom is grey.
    The executioner is red, white, and blue under the mask.
    Law is the way of judicious Judistes who depend on injustice.
    Let colossal jenga structures define our domino positioned
    integrity, home, and fame; when it collapses into rubble -
    Patronize it.
    Red stands for the adrenaline & sentiment of war.
    Blue stands for the innocence lost
    in the white-power pyramid.

    Let the future be my crutch for the past and present;
    The revolution is the butcher knife. The eagle; the feasant.

    Celebrate the lost cause.
    can I kick it?

  2. #2
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12
    anyone who thought this was freeverse did not read carefully...

    this s a good poem luke...

    you're taping into your righteous social consciousness..

    your imagery is interesting...sufficiently obscure...

    you'll understand that statement later...

    but yeah...your word choice was fairly simple

    but, your message was very thought provoking...

    and i mean that literally...not just that it was interesting...

    intead of telling people what to think, you lead them to a certain thought...

    it's a way of mental control...interesting application of the technique....

    honestly, i think im missing something in your meanings...

    i've been dealign mostly with the literal recently, and not searching for metaphorical meaning...

    i've been slacking off in ap class alot...

    bleh...

    i would put an evaluation of the metaphors, but...ill explain what i think on aim later...

    lest i be incorrect in the presnce of my peers...
    Last edited by Sublime D; April 7th, 2005 at 10:19 PM
    Bittersweet

  3. #3
    +
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    London
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,410
    Battle Record
    2-1
    This poem never existed.
    Last edited by Dan Dare; April 4th, 2005 at 06:24 PM
    ...

  4. #4
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    2,930
    Battle Record
    1-3
    Awards Haiku Season Champion
    It wasn't a freeverse. . .
    can I kick it?

  5. #5
    +
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    London
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,410
    Battle Record
    2-1
    This poem never existed.
    Last edited by Dan Dare; April 4th, 2005 at 06:23 PM
    ...

  6. #6
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    2,930
    Battle Record
    1-3
    Awards Haiku Season Champion
    Once again, it wasn't a freeverse.
    can I kick it?

  7. #7
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    2,930
    Battle Record
    1-3
    Awards Haiku Season Champion
    Gay.
    can I kick it?

  8. #8
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    22,245
    Battle Record
    12-1
    This was pretty nice. The illest was the totem pole, light color, caged face part. Nice jobLol@arguing if it was feeverse or not.
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  9. #9
     
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    6,689
    Battle Record
    7-0
    Awards Haiku Season Champion PC HOF
    Booked. I forgot i'd told you i would leave a sizable reply and now
    i'm to tired. But don't fret, i'll leave one tomorrow when i get home
    from work.
    ...

  10. #10
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    2,930
    Battle Record
    1-3
    Awards Haiku Season Champion
    C'mon.
    can I kick it?

  11. #11
    Banned GenoH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    City Of Sin,NV
    Posts
    522
    Battle Record
    1-2
    Quote Originally Posted by Wicked
    This was pretty nice. .

    word i agree

  12. #12
    Great job Luke.
    Another great piece. Loved the begining.

  13. #13
    Certified Like A COW Varentao's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    A thick pool of coconut scented cow manure.
    Posts
    2,566
    Battle Record
    2-2
    Reading through it was very edgy. Which was what i liked about it. Ya kept yourself out there. Unrelenting. Though it did at times get a bit bland with the repetition of colours without a proper platform. But this kind of style of writing produces that. Tis about trial and error. Or maybe i just didn't get into it quite right.

    Nice.
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.

  14. #14
    better than legendary Neruda II's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    N.O.V.A.
    Age
    35
    Posts
    14,871
    Battle Record
    8-2
    Agred, very edgy.

    Your tone was outstanding in this. I thought this would make an ill spoken word piece, although I think people would be lost of the meaning since it's such a deep piece. I'm not exactly sure of the meaning, then again, I'm never sure of the exact meanings behind your poetry. You think at such an advanced level that it's hard to grasp the concepts and ideas behind your poems. I guess it's a good thing, but sometimes it's just a bit tedious to read through something without knowing what it's about. Regardless, this was a quality piece. Like I said before, your tone really stood out. I could really feel the words coming at me when reading this. I didn't like the city streets and canvas line, I just didn't understand how it was relevant to the poem, maybe I missed something. I don't know. I just didn't like that part. Your imagery was so symbolic, so representative of your emotions that I'd almost feel bad trying to decipher the words and being wrong. Well yeah, the totem line was very fresh and original. I'm glad that you didn't quit writing pieces on here, although I don't seem to miss your constant dickriding of yourself and giant ego. Good job on this, my fellow Po'Ethics member.
    murder murder

  15. #15
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    2,930
    Battle Record
    1-3
    Awards Haiku Season Champion
    I thought you loved my ego? Leggo' my ego.

    Thanks for the reply.
    can I kick it?

Similar Threads

  1. Is Acceptable to celebrate the death of someone?
    By Brother Blue Collar in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: May 10th, 2011, 12:07 AM
  2. In Studio (Celebrate Preview)
    By Troy Murray in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: November 8th, 2010, 06:23 PM
  3. Elevate an celebrate nigga.
    By blitzo in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: January 28th, 2010, 01:28 AM
  4. good muslims celebrate christmas..
    By Edicius in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: December 24th, 2006, 06:59 PM
  5. Emo Kids...Celebrate
    By Nahlidge in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: December 7th, 2005, 03:18 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •