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Thread: 1man Army..it's Mrdr..!! Feedback Plz.

  1. March 8th, 2005, 11:43 PM #1
    KŠLĄ
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    Thumbs up 1man Army..it's Mrdr..!! Feedback Plz.

    Non-Sensical, back-bit'N ryhmer'z, try'na spit spirant, like I did,
    Yall couldnt get a crowd 2 C ya point, by slicing off they eyelids,
    I penetrate wit punchlines, Jerk'N offs ya only Vibration,
    I got old cats wit velcro say'N 'that cat laced it'!,
    I'm question'n ya potential, A large debate is @ stake,
    Theres such dissagreement, cuz I only see fakes in my face,
    Time to erase ya rhymes cuz they neva were, Nor will ever be Great,
    Only time ya bars got flow, is swimming down the lake,~~~
    yall cant get at me with deplorable situations, its time yall took warning,
    its been ground for war, my bars'll pound you whore's untill (mourn)ing,
    i been pour'n, carn-I-vorous, deplorums over these forums,
    cuz i hate to see cats fight back clawless, without caution,
    winner & champ, abus'N these dispicable fags,
    No Niccaz & GATZ, just spitt'n Riddl'z N Raps,
    Ya'll could neva get it together wit reynolds N wrap(Reynolds wrap)
    My submissive ways got'em think'n bout bring'n a Gun 2 a Raid,
    Nuff'N'll change, ma' barz pack ammo, and you stuck wit tha cliP,
    Im bust'n Yo shit, an' goin back n 4th playn with words,
    I could use metaphors, verbs, or regular words,
    But it'll only be worst, for you.. when i post it on-these boards.
    it's 'MURRDURR'...... I'll take a toast to ya Corpse,
    My flows Nastier than throw-up-on-tha-floor,
    I BET IF THESE CATS REALLY WANTED 2 BATTLE THEY WOULDNT SHOW UP, FO'SHO...........

    GEDD@ME.......KALIKOZE9/11

    feedback plz.....

    my 2ew linx:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...25#post2151325
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...98#post2151398

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  2. March 9th, 2005, 12:00 AM #2
    Da Crakk DOn
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    eyyo shit was itie but hard to understand and shti eith al them smileys. and not as hardcore as i like it tho. youre tight tho keep spitten and holla back yo 1
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  3. March 9th, 2005, 12:05 AM #3
    KŠLĄ
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    TAKE YA TIME READ IT..........CUZ SEEING AS YOU ONLY GOT BUT WUT 14 POSTS....I CANT REALLY TAKE YOUR CRITICISM INTO CONSIDERATION, BUT APPRECIATE THE HOLLA BACK.....

    READ IT LINE-4-LINE YOU'LL GET IT.........UPP'N......
    KALIKOZE9/11

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176218

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  4. March 9th, 2005, 12:23 AM #4
    KŠLĄ
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    Feed Back Plz............wuts Good.....

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  5. March 9th, 2005, 04:51 AM #5
    AbusivE
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    Word, you came pretty decent on the topic, but its not really my type of 'thing'. you could have came a little harder with multis, i didn 't see to many of them. your structure seemed pretty good, nothin was really stretched.. but as da crakk don stated, a few lines did seem a bit hard to understand, but overal you came pretty decent on this, it would be nice to see you tryin a different topic or something, but this was good, keep at it!


    My open mic:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176386
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  6. March 9th, 2005, 10:03 AM #6
    warchild
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    I thought it was a decent verse, youve got a nice flow most of these KIDS on here will miss peoples flow cause most of them aint got a clue.
    The structure and vocab were on point you had a couple of nice lines but the only punchline i like was the eye lids line it was cool.
    Overall a nice verse.

    Reply to this please.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176403
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  7. March 11th, 2005, 02:17 PM #7
    KŠLĄ
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by warchild
    I thought it was a decent verse, youve got a nice flow most of these KIDS on here will miss peoples flow cause most of them aint got a clue.
    The structure and vocab were on point you had a couple of nice lines but the only punchline i like was the eye lids line it was cool.
    Overall a nice verse.

    Reply to this please.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176403

    APPRECIATE THE FEEDBACK..........YA RIGHT, MOST OF THESE NU CATS DONT KNOW HOW TO READ OR WRITE A RHYME, WITH CONTENT THEY AINT NEVA USE B4.......WORDS THEY NEVA HEARD OF.ETC...............NO DOUBT ILL DROP FEED BACK ON YO SHIT......................................

    IF YOU WOULDNT MIND THO CHECKING OUT THESE MOST RECENT BATTLES, AND POLL VOTE ON THEM PLEASE................

    ILL RETURN THE FAVR:


    OPEN BATTLES:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176857
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176588
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176852

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  8. March 11th, 2005, 02:17 PM #8
    KŠLĄ
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    Thumbs up

    HIT SUBMIT TWICE BY ACCIDENT..................SRY 4 DA DBL POST.........

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  9. March 11th, 2005, 02:20 PM #9
    Mc_Pt
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    hey that was tight i like the flow alot. keep on rappin cuz you got talent

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    Fell the wrath of da pain of Mc_PT and there iz no other name!!!!
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  10. March 11th, 2005, 02:25 PM #10
    DJsmokey
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    yea dawg real nice imagery.. good flow, feelin it.
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  11. March 11th, 2005, 02:29 PM #11
    V.J.E
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    alot of da shit didnt rhyme which is what i think u wuz lackin, but other then that the concept was nice. A good idea to do is when rhymin, rhyme with the syllables from the words in da previous line, keeps the flow smooth
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  12. March 11th, 2005, 02:39 PM #12
    KŠLĄ
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    ITS CALLED PUNCHLINES..........................

    VOTE ON THESE BATTLES, DROP LINX N ILL RETURN THE FAV....


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176857
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176588
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176852

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  13. March 11th, 2005, 03:14 PM #13
    KŠLĄ
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJsmokey
    yea dawg real nice imagery.. good flow, feelin it.

    GOOD LOOKING APPRECIATE IT.......

    DROP A FEW LINX, ILL RETURN THE FAV:

    VOTE ON MY BATTLES PLZ......
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176857
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176588
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176852

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  14. March 11th, 2005, 08:34 PM #14
    KŠLĄ
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    CAN I GET SOME MORE FEED BACK PLZ...........


    VOTE ON MY BATTLES PLZ.....

    VOTE ON MY BATTLES PLZ......
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176857
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176588
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176852
    __________________

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  15. March 11th, 2005, 08:45 PM #15
    cuban_solja
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    [B] yea so wuz up son you wanna battle?? ill return the fav.....????
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