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Thread: The Worst Ever (this hurt to write)

  1. March 2nd, 2005, 03:35 PM #1
    Born To Kill
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    The Worst Ever (this hurt to write)

    Tears stream down my screen in my reflection that I'm seein...
    But I'm hopin and believin that you'll see what I'm meanin.
    Words just can't describe what it is I'm trying to write...
    How much life can change from just going to sleep at night.
    I read the stories from papers and news sites and such...
    About parents who wake up and find their lives fucked.
    Kiss their baby on the head then tuck that baby into bed...
    But during the dark night someone snatched her and fled.
    The heart sinks to new depths when miserys so plenty...
    You can't avoid envisioning death when the bed's found empty.
    Courageous cops come calling with their wise commenting...
    But I'm behind a bathroom wall, cuz I can't stop vomiting.
    Camera pool for a plead, my wife prays for mercy to fill you...
    But I lose my cool quick with, "If you hurt her, I'll kill you!"
    Only two days've passed but I'm crazed and won't last...
    I fear you've killed my baby, all my hope's fading fast.
    Last night I screamed at the sky and woke all my neighbors...
    "Bring her back to me, you fuck, why did you take her!?!?!"
    I grow insaner each second, I imagine what you've done...
    How you've hurt her tiny body while having your fuckin fun.
    She must have screamed for Mommy, must have begged for Daddy...
    When we didn't come...God...it musta have hurt her heart so badly.
    I can't get the images out, scenarios play out sickly...
    I see blood around her mouth, her eyelids still flickering.
    My mind still wants to save her, heart and soul follow...
    But instinct's no saviour, it tells the rest of me to wallow.
    I can't keep from being curled up, it's been 2 years now...
    Me and my wife still holed up, still together; I dunno how.
    They say they're still searching, my revenge is too...
    Me and the wife still hurting, and still hoping to find you.
    We know our baby's gone, buried at sea or in dirt...
    But both of us live on just to one day give you our hurt.
    Eventually we'll get to, kharma always comes around...
    Such a reckoning we'll give you, once you've been found.
    Then my wife and I will sleep in our car like teens...
    While gas slowly leaks and reconstructs a family's dream.
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  2. March 2nd, 2005, 03:35 PM #2
    Born To Kill
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    The Reinvention, I Just Wanna Kill

    SinAmen, My Brian is For Rent
    Last edited by Born To Kill; March 2nd, 2005 at 04:47 PM
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  3. March 2nd, 2005, 03:40 PM #3
    Ike Ill.
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    Deep.

    The ending was nicely done, story well made. A good drop... A lot of feeling.

    What happened man??............................

    it sounded like a raping. In my point of view "you hurting her little body just for your fucking fun"

    This was a really good read and nice drop...
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  4. March 2nd, 2005, 03:40 PM #4
    Center Sight
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    dude... is this all true? this shit really happened to you? i dont have any kids of my own im only 20 but.. i couldnt imagine losing some one i loved.. or not knowing.. and having to wonder.. as a lyrical piece this was perfect for what it was, it was venting.. and you did it in such a manner the reader can feel your pain, thats what lyrics were originally meant for.. and i have no complaints with this.. my hearts with you if you really had to go through this.. i respect this piece bro

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172961
    Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.
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  5. March 2nd, 2005, 03:45 PM #5
    Born To Kill
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    Naw, dude...

    I appreciate what ya said, but this isn't real.

    It is for alotta parents, though.

    I just saw a coupla news stories lately that haunted me.

    So, I dunno why, I guess cuz I have a 3 year old...

    I just felt compelled to put myself in their place.

    I wish I hadn't, like the title said, this hurt to write...to imagine.

    But...shit...I can't control what pops in my head...I just relay it.
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  6. March 2nd, 2005, 03:47 PM #6
    Center Sight
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    thank god for that.. now i see what you were doin with this
    venting on your fears.. feeling their pain through your own blood
    nice..
    Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.
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  7. March 2nd, 2005, 04:43 PM #7
    noncentz
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    This Is Real Very Few Words Discribe A Peace Like This Except Eye Catching And Maybe An Eye Opener
    In Both Sences For The Hip Hop Head The Attention Is Grabbed And For The Deep Poetic Minded This Also Tells A Story To Awaken Them To Reality This Is Great Work And You Made It Seam So True To Your Own Heart.
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..
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  8. March 2nd, 2005, 04:46 PM #8
    Glock Works
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    Hey born to kill i like it and it was cool and all, but u should of had a suprise ending like the daughter never left but was under her bed, or like she was snatched for 10 years and only live 2 blocks down with her and raised her good.

    I did like ur story alot though

    I give it a 9/10

    eh i was wonder if u can add a new cypher

    one when u continue a one going song forever

    P.S. Keep up the good work

    hit some of my stuff up to
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  9. March 2nd, 2005, 10:40 PM #9
    SpiTz
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    nice piece. everything was on point. the story telling was immaculate. the details like,
    "She must have screamed for Mommy, must have begged for Daddy...
    When we didn't come...God...it musta have hurt her heart so badly"

    Made this joint great, cause in my mind i pictured my son when he's crying. touched my heart.
    I dup the fake, there's no way to Duplicate this cocky stocky 5'3 emcee wit more stamina than rocky, i leave you wit lumpty lumps and ruin you like humpty hump and shock G.....ME

    Dog you a FOOL, comparin' me to you is like Pac to Ja rule, no comparison ya style is lame weak and embarrassin', so find a new hobby....Me

    Fuck the world don't ask me for shit....BIG

    What ya really know about the DIRTY SOUTH?

    SpiTz
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    R.I.P
    Floyd Judy
    12-26-54
    09-21-02
    Miss you Dad...stay like you were when you were here....keep it ganksta....
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  10. March 3rd, 2005, 09:06 AM #10
    Born To Kill
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    Thanks much, cats...

    Bump!
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  11. March 3rd, 2005, 09:31 AM #11
    Issue
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    Wow...

    Its as simple as that, this piece was fucking excellent lol.

    Because of the love for you on this site, I've rarely read anything of yours thinking that if i dont like Ill be either forced into contradiction or not liked very much for it lol, and if i did like it Im sure people would of said what i wanted to many times already.

    But i had to reply to this piece, this was hall of fame material.

    It was the epitimy of what an Open Mic should be, it had everything.
    But most of all, the feeling and deepness expressed here... Though it wasn't the best topic to write about... You really helped us feel the pain in this piece, the pain of people who lived through this, had this happened to them... it was like an experience more than something you just thought up.
    Obviously your daughter and the feelings you would feel helped this come across so much better, and we understand how you feel the pain that these families have already suffered.

    Out of the 18 bars, id say 16 of them were near perfect.

    Great work, honestly this was majestic lol

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  12. March 3rd, 2005, 10:09 AM #12
    KŠLĄ
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    " A-WORK-OF-ART. "
    " MASTERPIECE "

    IF THERE WERE EVER A BLACK, SISKEL & EBERT,

    THEY'D DEFINITELY POUR THEIR 40'Z OUT FOR THIS PIECE,

    IT WAS VERY HEARTFELT:
    YOU PUT THE READER (ME) IN THE DRIVER SEAT, AND THE EYES, OF YOUR STORY....

    KALIKOZE9/11

    give a holla: & summ f/b plz
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...57#post2128957
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  13. March 3rd, 2005, 11:29 AM #13
    Born To Kill
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    Thank you very much...seriously.
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  14. March 3rd, 2005, 11:35 AM #14
    warchild
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    I was really impressed with this verse it was just RAW.
    I really cant say nothing to criticise it.
    The concept was just that real life shit, there was great emotion and feeling in the rhymes it was just real.
    The structure vocab and flow was all on point.
    Best piece ive read on here for a while.

    Return the favour.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175058
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  15. March 3rd, 2005, 11:50 AM #15
    HEDWON
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    you know how you read somthing too long wit yr eyes open and they start
    yo water..well that happend ...lol.....this shit was hot..yo i got two daughters and i go through som shit too..
    10/10
    your hot as shit dawg...om lookin forward to seeing anotha piece........
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