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Thread: Headphones

  1. #1
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    Headphones

    Headphones

    I知 in the departures lounge, still cold,
    Waiting for that old nausea to take hold.
    I have my headphones draped around my neck.
    My concrete zone, my warm, exotic world.

    Music keeps me warm, in winter seasons.
    Melody, rhythm, and rhyme keep me awake,
    When I feel like snoozing. I値l not reason
    With the airport staff, who tell me to sleep.

    My blood is weary, that familiar ghost train
    Mindset creeps over; that haunted feeling
    You get, when in public for an insane
    Amount of time. This seat, is irritating.

    I feel, rather sick, right about now.

    The music though, is right in my eardrums;
    And I can hear my ears drumming, on beat.
    I can feel these, taut guitar strings strumming.
    In my head. Resting on railings, my thumbs

    Start to tap, and at once, my hands are dancing.
    Next, my arms are romancing. I知 seated,
    Yet strangely, moving. Going somewhere, like
    I have somewhere to go. Almost alive.

    Almost breathing.
    ...

  2. #2
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Was this your old IE match against lyric verse?
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  3. #3
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Only one poem a day. Me or lyric will re-open this tomorrow Jek.

    Closed.
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  4. #4
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Opened
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  5. #5
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    ^Flippin freeposter lol
    I think that this was a very strong piece, i read it against Lyric's take on the same topic and it shined then but i think it shines even brighter on its own, this is overall a very solid poem and i think anyone would be hard pressed to find any glaring faults in it, since i already reviewed this i wont go into great depth but i liked, 1luv.

    p.s. be sure to return the favor hombre
    Last edited by Prince Escobar; February 22nd, 2005 at 02:47 PM
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quist
    Was this your old IE match against lyric verse?
    It was indeed. And thank you for the comments, Franklin.
    ...

  7. #7
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Obviously it was good enough for you to win the title with it. Headphones are jeks new best friend. I told you what I thought about this poem in your battle.

  8. #8
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    ^ I didn't really understand at the time why you thought it was 'not very poetic.'

    By the way, as I don't even get any awknowledgement of that title in the IE office, I think this poem is really good enough for a nomination... just saying.

    Up.
    ...

  9. #9
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    I really liked that.. keep em' cumin!
    So As It Is Written,
    It Shall Be Done!

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    "For A Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins, But With 1 Step"

  10. #10
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    ^Nominate
    ...

  11. #11
    Only meant it if it hurt
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    oh course this is a very sturdy peice I have only one small issue with the poem. I don't see the person that says "I値l not reason With the airport staff, who tell me to sleep." saying "when in public for an insane Amount of time" it felt like you were trying to squeeze that in there to fit the rhyme since it sounds less formal than the rest of the poem. but your metaphors were on point you got hella good looks like,concrete zone, guitar strings, ghost train ect. I'm not going to nominate this and it's not because I don't think it should be, it's because I'm lazy. let me know if no one does I might change my mind
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  12. #12
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    Thanks. You know I always expect you to come with some knowledge. You might be right about the 'insane amount of time' line, I'm not too sure. Might be the differences in culture though, since I most definately can imagine that being said. Hopefully someone will nominate it.
    ...

  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Ever Dream's Avatar
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    I like this peice hunny. You did a good job. Great imagery, in a way lacking at points, but thats not biggie at all cause you made up for those points at the very same time with strong emotion and great story telling.... Good emotion throughout the entire peice. I like the simplistic style, and the way that it holds the words that it does. Overall youve done a very nice job here, its definatly fulfilling to the readers eye. Good job hunny

    keep droppin



    ....bless


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  14. #14
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    thanks, up.
    ...

  15. #15
    Only meant it if it hurt
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    oh I wasn't saying that I couldn't imagine that being said. i can definetly see it as well. I just thought it might be a bit lower than the other diction of the poem.
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    Your face looks really nice today

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