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Thread: Mindless Mindset

  1. #1
    The » Way
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    Mindless Mindset

    Mindless Mindset

    i cannot be cured
    Weaving a path of darkness
    winding through black halls
    seeking anything vibrant
    stealing the light from sanctuary
    spreading a web of deciet
    sticking to itself all that is morbid
    it will stop at nothing
    untill all is nothing
    an empty shell
    dark and undesireable
    with a roar of shedless fury
    it bathes in the tears caught in hell


    a brooding synphony of broken chorus
    building and reverberating off dry veins
    cracking skin modling to its own desires
    finding satisfaction in the downfall
    feeding on a slowly fading soul
    creating a shapeless demonic void
    swimming in the shadows
    sparking unholy darkness
    setteling like forst
    shifting with a quicking stride
    like the fumes of a ciggarette
    i am ill


    ripping apart the splitting air
    with a puff of blackness
    it becomes eternal
    unremovable fury
    ive become...
    prognosis cancer

  2. #2
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Damn twixn this was fire. I hope that you keep writting while your inet is gone so that you dont lose anything. But this was real deep I liked it alot.

  3. #3
    The » Way
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    up.

  4. #4
    Yo that was ill son..This was deep and good...Ya vocab was good i was feeling it keep droppin man

  5. #5
    The » Way
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    thanks for the feed... up.

  6. #6
    lyrical burst
    Guest
    feel dat

    give better feedback please
    -Lyric
    Last edited by Laureate; February 23rd, 2005 at 07:51 PM

  7. #7
    The » Way
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    feel dat... wow great feed...

    up.

  8. #8
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    I enjoyed the imagery in this, the middle stanza was the most enjoyable IMO. The fall from grace had a great impact, like watching the Lindenburg descend from teh sky, great images there. The structure was nice and didnt seem forced and the fact that you connected the italicized parts made it accesible and understandable to even a lamen like myself, well done, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  9. #9
    The » Way
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    uppin this... ish mutha muckers...

  10. #10
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Awards OFOTK Champion
    i'm replying to this later just because of the cool title
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Ever Dream's Avatar
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    I enjoyed this poem a lot! great imagery through out the entirety of the entire peice. had good emotion, and also flowed through very nicely.

    in my opinion the best line in the entore poem was "a brooding symnphony of broken chorus" actually brings inspiration to me to write a poem.....

    all in all youve done a very nice job here...keep it up

    keep droppin

    please reply to my poem
    In the Art of Love...



    ....bless


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  12. #12
    This was real nice dark kind of abstract piece. I liked how there was no specific rhyme style to this and I loved readin it.

  13. #13
    Beautifully Decayed Mesmerize's Avatar
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    Wow Twixn, Im impressed. I loved this actually. I enjoyed every line to this, you had me pulled in from the beginning. This flowed very smoothly and the imagery and emotion were very strong as well. I liked the metaphores you used in this, this poem was filled with creativity. Def should be in PS HOF, although i think someone already nominated it. Def something different. Keep up the dopeness.

    peace,
    Mez

  14. #14
    The » Way
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    thanks

    thats for all the feed guys and gals.

  15. #15
    Irrelevance
    Guest
    guess ill up it one more time.

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