In the Art of Love...

[shawty"B"]

What is the greatest art in life?
Can it possibly be the continual strife
How it carries you on through your days
Teaching you lessons of a thousand ways
Or is it how you ever so gracefully fall
Into a love that is build up so tall
Spending time with one another at every chance
Lighting up eachothers face at every glance
Forever these two want to hold on to this
Knowin' it was meant to be since that first kiss


Timeless in the art of life...


Walking, staring, holding hands all day and night
The whole world passes by as though it took flight
Careless to the world surrounding them fully
Fearless to the worlds strength of 1000 bulls
Diving deeper into lifes shallow water blues
Running faster through lifes short times they go through
Smiling through the saddest of possible times
Crying through the happiest of rhymes sublime
Holding onto so many memories they cant keep grasp
Letting go of the old memories at long long last

Timeless in the art of love...

Hoping, dreaming, loving their life
Knowing that forever their smiles will be rife
Holding eachother in the formats of art
Simply looking at the other, captures the heart
Alone, the canvas is but a lonely plane
By conjoining with color, beauty gains
Beauty is a master piece in the eyes of the beholder
Forever holding the other, growing never colder
Like a singer without a song is a soundless pain
A loved one is always there to carry you through the rain


Timeless in the art of love...

[Foreshadow]

Shawty nice to see you posting in the forum...

I dont know why this is being slept on it is so well written and everything came together real nice. I liked this poem and how you used the metaphor of it being painted on a plain canvas and after they become one the blank canvas has color to it. I thought that it was pursued real well. I love the imaginary that was in this poem I could piture them holding hands all night and just staying up and talking. I remember when I was all love struck in the beginning of my relationship and we would stay up until the sun was out again so I can relate to this poem alot. What I like about this poem is how it has a real sense to it and how it can relate with so many people. I'm glad to see that you posted I only hope to see more from you in the future. Nice work and please stay active.

[Ever Dream]

Hun, thank you! thank you so incredibly much, that is just about the reply that I was hoping for this piece. I've had writers block for the longest time now, so Im glad to come back with a poem that you like and can relate to. I do hope that i will stay active, its my general plan. Thanks again hun, I do appreciate it.



....bless

[Dan Dare]

This is definately one of the better things I've seen you write. I really like the message and it has a nice rhythm. I liked the repitition of the "Timeless in the.." line. And I think you did a great job, generally - although you did perhaps begin to drift into cliche at times.

You don't always get the respect that you deserve, but regardless, you're probably a better writer than I was at your age. Please keep dropping here, your presence, as well as your work is always appreciated.

[Laureate]

Please never rhyme life and strife again

This was a nice simple poem....couple grammatical errors in the 1st part...
An overall positive message...happy.....altho sometime it got predictable
...but thats ok....Like Foreshadow said...I remember the feelin of a crush
and first love....emotion was good in this...imagry was also present
Nice drop Shawty...good to see you writing again

[Ever Dream]

Uppin'

Please ya'll, please dont sleep on this

[Mesmerize]

This was a nice emotional poem. You had some good imagery in this as well as the metaphores and flow. I feel a few things coulda been reworded to sound better though, for instance some of the words you used to rhyme seemed a little forced. But you connected with me on this one, a lot of peeps can relate to this. Real nice drop, keep writin.

peace,
Mez

[Scarcasm]

i really agree with lyric and jek i think they know what they're talking about here. you have a lot of good lines written in your peice but there were several times when i thought you padded your lines a bit like everytime you used the word "up" take it out and see how much cleaner your peice. all in all sturdy drop.

[R. Frost]

Nice drop here hun... its good to see you posting pieces again and that your gettin active once again... Your emotion in this piece i would have to be your strong point... i really liked the emotion that you put out in this piece very heart felt... The message that you gave in this piece was good aswell it really seemed liek you knew what you was talkinga bout and everything... all in all i would say this is on of the better pieces i have seen from you but then again i aint seen one from you in so long...

and yeah dont feel bad about that writers block shit i just got outa it today and dropped my first piece in awhile...

Dieing Struggles

Please leave feedback on this piece

[Ever Dream]

it would be my pleasure to read it hunny... ill do it right now while im on break.....

[Piscean Twin]

I liked it, didn’t really like the beginning but it got better as you progressed. My fave verse was the last one. nice work!

[Sublime D]

this was nice Denise...

I'm happy to see a ne poem from you, and im pleased with your progression as a writer...this is a good piece for you...i agree with the padding of lines argument...you could definitely make this a little cleaner...and certain diction could be reconsidered...your overall syntax and imagery were nice though...interesting..effectual...keep writing sweetie...

p.s. props on fitting the word sublime into your poem....

that's plus 2 dopeness points