Too Many Ways

[warchild]

I drive people crazy cause i flow too many ways
i would call out shit mc's but i know too many names
i laugh as i see you lace a dumb track
your more pathetic than mase's comeback
i guess he ran out of dollar bills
when the crowd talk about me they holla ill
now come on all you muthafuckas lets be honest now
im the best i'll always remain raw i put that promise down
buy the tape, buy the cd, or buy the vinyl
im rhyming non stop hoping for my survival
you reprsent the real then support me
im gutter as you can get a thoughts free
so i use mine, to explain my bruised mind
i'll give you the deeper shit in due time
im pissed off right now so i'll stab a punk, why?
cause im an insane animal who's showing his arrogant side

You think your a thug or gangster ok let's fight
you'll lose and be watching your back more than oj's next wife
i turn mc's ice cold cause i rhyme hotter
your mother can watch me murder you on crime stoppers
she can phone up and get a reward
before she does i'll snap the neck on the whore
people seem to think that im wild and im nasty
my future's more fucked up than a mind of a nazi
who can compete with my murderous metaphors?
come to my town and watch a herd of us test ya jaw
with a fist or knife, were pissed all night
up and away with the angels you can kiss your life

This is just a couple of verses of punches and a couple of metaphors, i wrote the first verse months back but the second verse i wrote last week.
this aint supposed to be emotional its just normal rhymes so dont be saying theres no emotion in em cause there aint supposed to be THESE ARE NOT DEEP VERSES.

[Genetic Carnage]

It's alright, nothing special. Not much of a flow and the message you're trying to get across doesn't really get to me for the mere fact that you're talking about imaginary people. Try to be more specific in your rhymes as in what kind of person you're dissing, how he's wack, etc. 7/10, keep droppin.

[CrazyCarl]

There were some nice punches scatered throughout. I thought the second verse would have hit harder, it was more consistent with punches, and not going into self-glory. You had good ideas, so this is something where you could insert lines from this into another one of your works, and just keep this one on the side.
Check this out http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168531

[warchild]

How can you say i havent got much flow.
Do you even know what flow means check the syllable count and tell me i havent got a nice flow.

[warchild]

Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168554
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168844

[Deviate]

It's a nice concept and like CrazyCarl said there are a lot of decent punches scattered through it but it seems as though some of it has been rushed and parts have been disregarded... It's nice but maybe a little better vocab and metaphor to get the reader/listener involved with what you're saying... It's not amazing and I know it's just a collection of stuff but it is good and is definately a positive start with some nice punches. Incorporate this into battles or other OMs.. whatever... but I think in other contexts it might sound a lot better...

Don't get me wrong it's not bad but that's my opinion... BTW really nice flow.. good syllable counting in there...

Peace and thanks for the feedback

[sick thoughtz]

this joint was kool wasnt really feeling it at first but as i read more it made more since

[MuhThugga]

Just returning your favor.

Your actual end rhymes are nice for the most part. Sometimes they don't rhyme very well, but a lot of yours are half-rhymes anyways.

One main problem throughout the piece is that you don't stay concentrated on one particular concept, you seem to go off on little tangents and write down lines for the sake of getting that rhyme put in there. It isn't as bad as restructuring a line so the syntax is all fucked up just so the word can rhyme, but it isn't good either.

For example,
"i laugh as i see you lace a dumb track
your more pathetic than mase's comeback
i guess he ran out of dollar bills
when the crowd talk about me they holla ill"

You are just kind of rhyming words for the sake of rhyming words, and there is no real substance in the line itself. When you are writing a line, reread it, reread it, see if it makes sense to you, and if there is the slightest doubt that what you have just written doesn't make sense or the lines are not congruent in subject matter, then rewrite.

[Omniscient]

this was ight dogg...i really think that u didn't really put any thought into this it was more like a freestyle to me...you had some good punches scattered in your verses...your vocab was average weren't nuthin special in this but it was ight...keep droppin dogg

[Foreshadow]

This was a good piece I like the flow alot and this was a decent topic to write about but for the most part it was a good read nice work..

return the feed
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168828

[*Boy Wonder*]

yo i gotta return the favor, u kno it wouldnt b right, now this drop was pretty decent. Good topic and all but i feel that u fell of track of the topic. The first few bars were pretty strong then u started rhyming woth words that u didnt need pretty much the word for that is "FLUFF".

i guess he ran out of dollar bills
when the crowd talk about me they holla ill

that first line of that bar u really didnt need u coulda played it a bit better.
all the flow was pretty much there no need to critisize that, um the syllable count for each bar was farely the same in each bar. The multies wur lacked in some places. but mostly all there. gotta rate this drop a 8.7/10 that 87% which is pretty gud keep ya head up man lookin for me and u to do a collab...holla BOY WONDER

[warchild]

Yeah thanks for the feedback this wasnt one of best it was just a bunch of metaphors and punches i had in different rhyme books and i stuck em together thats why it doesnt really stay on any type of topic my next post will be dope peace.

[tjesus]

yea..jagged,needs roundin off..sounds like u rappin another ppl life....why.??
ill look up yo dope rap.....good works.......peace.