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Thread: Tell me later.

  1. December 18th, 2004, 08:16 AM #1
    SirusX
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    Tell me later.

    Pain is what Eye might bare, during these nightmares
    Insight tears.. the zip lock hip-hops been waiting to hear
    Melodramatic, an starving artist trying to paint pears
    Shared fears of prejudice taints air, in what aint there
    It aint clear, a locked mental block..& Eye can’t seem to focus
    Too much to cope w/ choked and hopeless, guilty but no motive
    But they go w/ the smile, an ear to ear dagger… similar style
    The type to rouse granite gargoyles, with vinegar solutions
    This planets our foiled..Peace of Paradise, polluted
    Truth is, Eye’m use to the neuce kid, but its useless
    My muzzled persona managed to sketch blueprints
    A new lewd spit…littered with syllable shrewdness
    Flying congruent w/ super human movements
    It soon hit’s, This monsoon get’s… drained
    Two boones to sooth the brain, who’s to blame
    Not me, not who Eye pretend to be, not he
    Not your average parakeet, who barely sleep
    The need to keep these nails rooted in my teeth
    No need to break down the beaker’s content..
    Truth keeps these words synonymous w/ nonsense
    Wait… psycho, that’s me.. so listen close…
    Redefine what you think is dope, you blink you choke
    Eye shrink your hope, on ink its rope.. but on the screen
    SirusX the best Hip Hop had, inside your ip ping
    Nestled on the rings of your residued pipe-dreams
    Nice things Eye’ve seen crafted inside jimmy crickets slave-shop
    I’ll be flowing the circuitry of your currency until the waves stop
    Say what… Nice knowing you, nice being an influence
    I hope I help what you aint looking for, its been lucid.


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=1913449
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=1913456
    Last edited by SirusX; December 18th, 2004 at 09:22 AM
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  2. December 18th, 2004, 08:34 AM #2
    Ink Thesis
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    This was a good read. Kinda confused me a bit, well, at a few parts. But overall, I really liked it. The imagery was great. Good shit. Good vocabulary as well. And the multies were everywhere, nice word choice. My favorite bar would probably be:

    "Nice things Eye’ve seen crafted inside jimmy crickets slave-shop
    I’ll be flowing the circuitry of your currency until the waves stop"

    Keep it up.

    Peace
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  3. December 18th, 2004, 08:34 AM #3
    Ink Thesis
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    Oh and please hit this up yo...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160309

    Thanks...
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  4. December 18th, 2004, 03:21 PM #4
    Richard Parker
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    this is a good read. but since it was nominated for legends i'll tell you why its not legends.

    the multies were good. the flow was good. the piece was voerall pretty decent-good. But it had no direction to it - a lot of the multies didn't fit in wioth the piece, seemed like you just put them there so that you could have a lot of multies.
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  5. December 18th, 2004, 03:29 PM #5
    tonguetwista
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    this was a good piece. it was confusing to me at certain parts, but overall i was able to understand it for the most part. i liked it cause it had good imagery and structure. keep it up....peace
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  6. December 18th, 2004, 03:33 PM #6
    Emerge
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    i agree with feebs i cant really go into much detail because i dont understand half of what you are saying

    this is not my steez at all dog

    sorry

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    New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz

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  7. December 18th, 2004, 06:40 PM #7
    SirusX
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    intended to apear abstract.

    thx for feedback. two old heads on my peice is also good.
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  8. December 18th, 2004, 06:48 PM #8
    nolonger
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...10#post1914710

    peep that please

    yo never seen youre shit before and
    i must say im impressed i think this was
    nice poiece man a good read...not
    legendary but very nice.....good flow
    vocab was on point and a nice read.

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  9. December 18th, 2004, 07:19 PM #9
    Vikkie™
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    Yea man this is nice to read
    concept is confusing and the rest is clear its been awhile since i rated anything but it was very good man keep it up
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.
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  10. December 19th, 2004, 04:51 AM #10
    SirusX
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    Thx for replys.

    Up for more.
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  11. December 19th, 2004, 07:25 AM #11
    milonelion
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    very dope piece, indeed. i like the whole concept, each line kept me attached to reading further.

    "Redefine what you think is dope, you blink you choke"
    ^ that line caught me, i like the expression in it.

    ill peice sirus, wordplay is decent.. ill shit period.

    good drop fam.

    peep: shadows
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  12. December 19th, 2004, 06:03 PM #12
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    Thx for all the feedback
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  13. December 20th, 2004, 01:45 AM #13
    Predatorian
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    you got banned... HAHA... anyway, good drop, confusing at parts, but it was all good
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  14. December 21st, 2004, 12:41 AM #14
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    Thx for that... i guess...

    up
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  15. December 22nd, 2004, 04:39 AM #15
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