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Thread: WoP Verse.... Read Damnit!

  1. #1
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    WoP Verse.... Read Damnit!



    I met Carrie almost two years ago. In that time we've grown to realize we are truly meant for each other. However, things have been slightly different lately... different.... in a bad way.....
    So.....


    ... Lately my minds racing, contemplating, resorted to praying
    Trying to get my minds eye to predict what the doctor's saying
    But the diety betrayed me, vision hazy, I hate this...
    ...when the Doc entered we both sat victim to somber faces
    Constantly turning pages, eyes twitching to cold stares at best
    And at the paramount of my stress, his brow showed of hoplessness
    "You have options" he mutters intermittent with stutters
    While my heart drops to the gutter as it starts, stops, and sputters
    The same fate as my mother... we can delay but not stop it
    Take the sum of my profits invested into avoiding a coffin
    Its not often tears run, but this vision, can make a fear flood
    Its near done, health fading, for getting organs, she's the last one
    Figures she's be gone, in the first trimester of having my son...........

    Funeral for Carrie Ann Todd: Sunday July, 17th
    4:14 PM

    Why? Thats all I ask.......


    Its not fair, why'd they take her? We were the perfect pair
    Now her amber hair is eclipsed by a deathly stare
    And when I rose to view her, I knew I'd lose it
    I refused to see those eyes, even with that perfect blue tint
    She was perfect, "We'll be together forever" is what she's tellin me
    In the back of my mind in the melody in the soundtrack of memories
    I fall to my knees, nightly, wanting to know what could have been
    When then... I lost my fear of what'd it'd take to meet again

    We'll be together....
    ...again


    Awake tonight I lay, tracing the indentation
    of where nightly, you and I would embrace and lay in
    I'm hating the fact you're not here, and no longer appear
    When my thoughts blur from beer, inhibitions disappear
    Its drawing near, my time to slaughter the hurt
    When my thoughts sincere, utter... the body's mostly water
    I want her.. to see her.. to hold her.. and at that thought...
    I pack up, head out, and look out over the dock
    With cement socks...


    ...."I love you!!!!!!!!! I can't nor will I ever hide it!!!!!!!!
    I live by the sword.... time to die by it........


    RIP - Ryan James Christensen
    ---They are together at last---


    AI

  2. #2

  3. #3
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    well????
    AI

  4. #4
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    ................
    AI

  5. #5
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    fuckers
    AI

  6. #6
    D-Generation
    Guest
    Loved it.... Felt the emotion in that big time man. Keep up the great work. Interested in seein more of your stuff if it's as gd as that piece.

    D-Gen

  7. #7
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    One person?
    AI

  8. #8
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    rat bastards
    AI

  9. #9
    The » Way
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    will edit into a feedback later... goin out soon...

  10. #10
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    I responded in WoP - me nominates for special stuff

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    I'm dead.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Hence Forward

  11. #11
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SMZ
    I responded in WoP - me nominates for special stuff
    You forgot to actually nominate it for anything
    AI

  12. #12
    Interpersonal
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    this pice was well written...felt the emotiuons in it...nice wordplay and of course nice choice of words...overall i would give it a 7.5...Salam

  13. #13
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    Thanks

    Up (cause I can)
    AI

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! TeLLaKoNeSiS's Avatar
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    Lightbulb

    Yo This Piece Had Some Fuckin Depth Man,
    I Liked It Lots I Was Well Touched By The Second Verse Bout ''Carrie''
    Felt Emotion In The Words

    Its not fair, why'd they take her? We were the perfect pair
    Now her amber hair is eclipsed by a deathly stare

    She was perfect, "We'll be together forever" is what she's tellin me
    In the back of my mind in the melody in the soundtrack of memories


    Them Lines Where Deep.

    The Whole Rhyme Was Deep To Be Honest, Arrogance And Ignorance Is The Main Reason For No Replies People Obviously Just Sign Up To A Board For The Pure Fun Of Fillin The Registration Form Out..

    Weren't You On RhymenReason.net? Under A Different Name I Think I Remember You If You Where...

    Stay Droppin iLLness Son...
    Last edited by TeLLaKoNeSiS; November 24th, 2004 at 09:58 PM
    I Don't Need A Sig?

  15. #15
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    I'm Chrit on RnR
    AI

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