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Thread: ..He'll Never Be..

  1. #1
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    ..He'll Never Be..

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=143686
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=1656070






    Tears of pain and joy flood my eyes as you stand there…
    Telling me the news of you two, something I cant bear…
    Cause deep down inside its eating me with viciousness…
    I wipe my eyes and lightly sigh at all this propitious shit…
    As more tears slowly start to form and I close my eye lids…
    But he’ll never have the essence of her passion like I did…

    And You’ll Never Be What I Was To Her…
    I May Have Lost Her But You’re The Loser…
    Cause…
    You’ll Never Have All Her Love Like I Have…
    You’ll Never Hold Her Hand The Way I Had…

    And now the tears stroll down my cheek so slowly…
    As I reminisce of what we had with a future glowing…
    I won’t voice my opinion, cause my emotion says it all…
    With its powerful dominion speaking it with deep lit calls…
    Of love to you…as I can only show a small few emotions…
    But he’ll never have her faithfulness and true devotion…

    And You’ll Never Be What I Was To Her…
    I May Have Lost Her But You’re The Loser…
    Cause…
    You’ll Never Catch Her Tears Like I Have…
    You’ll Never Care For Her The Way I Had…

    I’m trying to be happy for you but you know I can’t…
    Cause I was blinded as you two had a slow romance…
    I open my eyes but my vision is all blurry from tears…
    And you say you didn’t mean to hurt me, come here…
    As you give me one last hug…and I start to cry hard…
    But he’ll never feel the love from her that was in my heart…

    And You’ll Never Be What I Was To Her…
    I May Have Lost Her But You’re The Loser…
    Cause…
    You’ll Never Be Half The Man That I Was…
    You’ll Never Have All Her Sweet Love…

    You’ll Never Be Half The Man That I Was…

  2. #2
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    Credz this is nice i enjoyed your flow it was good like usual....your multis aways seem to stand out in ya deep peices and make the Read Good...ya rhyme scheme was nicely done and vocad was nice...very good stuff man...not ur usual style but good none the less....good Job...

    pZ.

  3. #3
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    Thanks for the feedback...Upping For Some More...Drop Links And I Will Return The Feed.

  4. #4
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    Upping This For Some Feedback...Drop Links And I Will Return the feed

  5. #5
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    Wow..Credz this was deep. real deep. and you are one hell of a good writer (not to mention a real sweet guy ) I loved this and it almost made me cry..seriously..but i'm emotional right now...(long story) hope this is devoted to me
    Def Poets

  6. #6
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    well credz, i thought this was pretty good, but since thats all you ever write about it shouldnt be anything less... lol.... technically it was kinda basic, but not over.... but like im sure ive tolds you before with emotional heart felt drops, complexity is nt the be and end all, so long a sthe emotion stands... which it did in this.... im never too keen on hooks htho in OM's, but it fit pretty well..... all in all a decent read
    ...i thought the ending was good really captured what you were saying throughout the verses
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  7. #7
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    i felt the emotion in this piece. it was written a little bit elementary but the images in the piece really made it worth reading. the subject matter was downright gutsy and that makes this a good piece.

    keep posting.

    p.s. could you do me a favour and rep my new piece?

    SS League Record 31-8
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    14 x OM HoF



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  8. #8
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    Thanks for the feedback, Upping this for some more...Leave links and I will return the Feedback.

  9. #9
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    This piece was cool. The emotion was the stong point. Many people come at the lost love topic, but you came in a more unique angle, which stopped this from being just another played piece. This was some decent shit.

    As more tears slowly start to form and I close my eye lids…
    But he’ll never have the essence of her passion like I did…

    My favorite part. Ill shit.

    My Open Mic:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=145197
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  10. #10
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    Thanks!...Upping For More FeedBack...Leave Links And I'll Hit Up Yours!

  11. #11
    Umm .. Hi TonyBrown's Avatar
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    it wuz kinda basic, but i wuz still feelin it

    liked da flow, da multies really stood out too

    its hard ta pull off a topic like this n not sound like a pussy or sumtin which u did pull it off

    nice drop

  12. #12
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Nice shit, my man...

    The emotion is overwhelming, but so is the helplessness.

    Cuz, I'll tell ya what...

    Whoever's currently fucking her...IS NOT the loser.

    And I think this character (maybe it's really you) knows this.

    Sad shit...I've been there...thinking, mistakenly, that I was being thought of...

    When it's all just bullshit, the winner takes it all, seriously.

    Peace

  13. #13
    caught in the yahweh Chemarim's Avatar
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    this was hot, definatley feelign you on this one
    audio- would be sick, do you got it?

    flow was nice, main thing in this. and the emotion trip lol, i know that situation it's fucked but shit if anyone is getting this forget the bitch lol theirs to much better then to worry about one
    ANNIHILATION
    OR
    DESTRUCTION

  14. #14
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    Credz U Was Building When I Left Here And Now Look At U Ur Phenominol With Ur Posts It Feels Good To See True Hip Hop Heads And This Work Was Real Nice
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  15. #15
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    Thanks for the feedback guys, Leave links and i will leave feed on your pieces, Thanks.

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