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Thread: Formula & Quill - The Wrong Love?

  1. #1
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    Formula & Quill - The Wrong Love?

    Formula = Italic
    Quill = Regular


    It all started when I saw her naked, Mom's little baby
    All grown up, the thought lingered in my head, made me crazy
    Maybe I was trippin' - Nah - The attraction was apparent
    She'd get ready for dates and I'd have to stay starin'
    Could we be darin' love boundaries ?
    Can I overcome what's hounded me ?
    I've looked for love in the sea of fish but stay floundered see
    Only friends surrounding me, I'm in need of Female Companions
    Take the title of boyfriend and finally make myself a champion
    They say 'God Works In Mysterious Ways', I believe that
    A game of Spin of the Bottle and I get hit w/ the cap
    I should kiss her, I mean I felt it, and they were egging us on
    'Cause they never seen this type of shit, not even movies
    Somehow, she moves me, and her voice always soothes me
    Our lips locked, time stopped on the wrist watch
    Would we get caught ? Higher authority tell us to get lost
    We took the risk and I got lost in the kiss like I was on some journey
    And not damn thing concerned me, because I finally had that burning
    Sensation - deep inside the pit of my stomach
    And the whole shit felt like a big butterfly summit
    I'm a man, whom can make his own decisions and handle predicaments free
    Of help - I carved 'She Loves Me' inside a heart by myself..
    On the hickory tree near the perfect ending, aka the white picket fence
    People might think this is sick, but their opinions are microscopic
    'Cause all I can do is smile when I see her picture inside the locket
    And invision the way her brown silky hair sways like palm trees in the wind
    The moment we locked eyes is the one still I want to replay over and over again
    Her baby blue eyes cast a spell that I thought only witches used
    And her perfume, leaves a trail of angel behind, I can see her wings
    There ain't nothing like the joy that this love brings to me


    I'll go end to end loving him..relationship we'll build
    Despite the hate, the sin, the disgust and filth
    The lust & will, the hungers left me lost and famished
    A flaw that diagnosed me with psychological damage
    & my parents, they will think I'm tragic & weird
    And fear eye's of society & harassment from peers
    Holdin' back tears..holdin out my hand..read my palms
    Am I crazy? I scolded him as he was leavin' for Prom..
    Reading Psalms cuz this shit is hammering me..
    It could work out..we can be a family within family
    Somethings been tampered see, not normal, a fallacy
    And in actuality, it's probably a disorder within reality
    Tragedy, fuck, I would follow him, & stalk hoes
    The next, future, or tomorrows victim on talk shows?
    Don't know, but I'll plummet if there's no choice
    Cuz in my mind it yells vomit, but I ignore the voice..
    "Anything could Happen"-truly signifies the saying
    I'm trapped in a maze that I only see as amazing..
    It's weighing, on my heart, nothing can tear us apart
    & when darkness falls, our minds drift unto the stars
    We can start life because the wait was well deserved
    Expandings a problem cuz of complications for birth
    It's worth, everything....my life, my friends, my image
    It worked within time when we ran with our decision
    All opinion, most will gasps or sing the blues cuz..
    ..nothing will stop me from being with my true love



    We don't need the cuffs, our relationship should not be locked down
    And we aren't afraid of reprecussions when the bomb is dropped now
    'Cause, truth is.... I love every moment I spend w/ her
    And it's just a technicality that we're Brother and Sister



    nominate this for something, now.

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  3. #3
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Buwahahahaha!!! That ending was a curveball. I never would have thought it. Formula, your first verse was cool. Flow dropped a couple times but nothing major. Good imagery. Nice verse. Quill, good shit. It surprised me, but I felt your verse. The flow and imagery was good. After I read that, I was thinking "OK...another 'I'm in love piece'.." Then formula dropped the last few lines, and changed it all. That's a good example of how a single line can make a piece. Good shit.

    My Open Mic:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=139691

    -W1
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  4. #4
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    ^ yes Wicked.. nominate it.. and i'll give you some pocket lint.

  5. #5
    Close To The Wrath Of God Brother Blue Collar's Avatar
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    "I've looked for love in the sea of fish but stay floundered see"
    that line gave it a poetic feeling atleast to me anyway
    like i said the peice gave me a poetic type flow and feel for sum reason

    "Despite the hate, the sin, the disgust and filth"
    cutting out the 'and", then put disgusting would have been betta in my eyes
    otherwise you had good flow and internals were cool
    and the peice gave me a poetic type flow and feel for sum reason like i've said

    nice twist in the story and great imagery to go with it

    check my shit plz
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...41#post1584641
    I believe i'm making some good music, please just wait for me




    [sc]https://soundcloud.com/hood-society/what-you-fear-featuring-a-cas[/sc]

  6. #6
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    yea formula and quill u did mak it start off like another love story but after reading the end and it again it was nice and clear...thats wat i think made this peice really good the slight curve in it....topic wasnt played the flow in both verses was good.. structure was good but i know formula has done betta in structure but quill yours was nice...Nice yall..pZ..

  7. #7
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    this was pretty dope,

    Formula work on structure man. The verse could have been good but it was structure so crazy that it threw it off. Flow also.


    Quill, I can only say I love your work. This was dope.

  8. #8
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    lmao ahahahah!
    I knew it! this piece was great...really liked the story. Formula...I dunno if you were usin' foreshadowin' or u wanted to give it away or wahtever but...

    "It all started when I saw her naked, Mom's little baby
    All grown up, the thought lingered in my head, made me crazy"

    ^Kinda gives away the story lol.

    Nice verse by both tho...I was really feelin' quill's tho...
    ""Anything could Happen"-truly signifies the saying
    I'm trapped in a maze that I only see as amazing.."

    ^ill.

    Real Nice collab...an OM of the month for sure. Now you sick fucks should go get some help.

  9. #9
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    ^ lmao, i'ma go visit the doctor today.. good looks on the feed.

  10. #10
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    Lmaoooooooo
    The twist at the end of this
    fine piece

    Formula:
    "Sensation - deep inside the pit of my stomach
    And the whole shit felt like a big butterfly summit"
    ^ Nice worded line...When I read that line I had
    my own meaning and an image,, of butteryflys
    flying sporadiclly around a lighted stomach...
    Nice flow some nice well though of lines..ok
    structure...nice concepts and imagery like this

    "People might think this is sick, but their opinions are microscopic
    'Cause all I can do is smile when I see her picture inside the locket
    And invision the way her brown silky hair sways like palm trees in the wind"
    Quote Formula...well done.

    Quill:
    "I'll go end to end loving him..relationship we'll build
    Despite the hate, the sin, the disgust and filth
    The lust & will, the hungers left me lost and famished
    A flaw that diagnosed me with psychological damage"

    ^ Now that I have analyzed these lines the ending
    makes a lot of sense well done nicely flow written piece.
    I must admit you are sick though ...joke...

    "It could work out..we can be a family within family
    Somethings been tampered see, not normal, a fallacy
    And in actuality, it's probably a disorder within reality"

    I feel silly now...these lines open my eyes so yeah...
    you can tell that this is incets here...crazy..you wording
    is very great, you stayed on topic definitely..nice structure
    and flow. Your examplination , your how can I say discription
    of this topic is very good..



    Over all nice piece nice collaboration..
    Pondering are Formula and Quill Brothers
    and Sister and is this a true story by
    you 2...hmmmm

  11. #11
    Go Pacers! Sergio...'s Avatar
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    ah man..i knew it...you guys damn near bit Sal-V's concept
    exactly.....he used a Dad and daughter and called it "wrong love"
    in an audio track...since i went into this thinking that it made
    this piece blah like...but i like Quill's writing..the other dude
    wasn't too good...but Quill came nice...but i hate it due to the
    fact that u damn near took the idea even if it was unintentional
    "And I feel like an idiot working my day
    around a call but when I pick up I don't know what to say"


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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savir.
    ah man..i knew it...you guys damn near bit Sal-V's concept
    exactly.....he used a Dad and daughter and called it "wrong love"
    in an audio track...since i went into this thinking that it made
    this piece blah like...but i like Quill's writing..the other dude
    wasn't too good...but Quill came nice...but i hate it due to the
    fact that u damn near took the idea even if it was unintentional
    Yes Blah does like
    Good Job People.
    Funny Ass Twist
    BLAH@YOU

  13. #13
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    Savir, I'm going to tell you like I told $pitacular. This is no such thing. If concepts were considered biting...Hip Hop would be dead because concepts like "hood hop" and "life" and such have been used over...and over...and over...and over...again. Get it? Yes, thanks for the responses.

  14. #14
    Go Pacers! Sergio...'s Avatar
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    Oh, yeah....i know what you mean by the whole concept thing...
    but you might understand how i didn't like it because of the similar
    concept...and named the same and what not...and this isnt the
    type of concept that's good if used over and over...unlike 'life'
    and all that shit...
    "And I feel like an idiot working my day
    around a call but when I pick up I don't know what to say"


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  15. #15
    literally fck ur own face Wise Ways's Avatar
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    That twist was dope.. unexpected

    good piece really

    first thing i've seen quill write

    form came nice..

    over all nice piece

    hit this up plz first om i've done in a bit

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=139926

    thanks

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    WhatThatLookLike..?!

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