Eerie Visons

[Endeva.]

Eerie Visions [typo on the title]

Forms & Figures manifest triggered by thoughts
Caught by imagination that cant be bought
Bodies become taut at a distorted apparition
As the glisten of light, incites suspense & suspicion
Wishing & hoping some ones joking around
Cos your minds-eye implies its too Profound
Confounded & confused, sweat pours, not amused…
…By the thought that the afterlife can walk & cruise…
…Among us as they choose, roaming the plains
Like lost entities or sentries guarding their remains
Your heart rate gains pace, with this idea in mind
It races, as a cascade of fear starts to unwind
Combined with the mood, mist and full moon
The presence starts & embarks to consume
As it looms in the distance your resistance fades
You’re that afraid you shade your eyes to evade
Wishing you’d stayed home, instead you’re alone…
…In a zone, calling for help, a quake in your tone
Hearing groans & moans, your future seems bleak
As panic devours, you lose the power to speak
Another creek, freaked you flee, at the speed of light
Then you sight your home & gone is the fright
With respite you calm and compose your own
Then you debate to tell your mate, on the phone
Unbeknown to you, he said he’d fed you a sheet…
…Of neat acid for a treat
And that you never once left your seat!


this is for over on RS, thought id post here first

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=135623
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...848post1524848

[K cypha]

dude, this was great. i mean it! good imagery/ wording. keep it up!

[Mc_Pt]

Dats was kinda of good
i like the last verse

[Endeva.]

Dats was kinda of good
i like the last verse

you like the last verse.. huh?... what did you read... its all one verse...

[Endeva.]

lets get some more feedback over here....

[Endeva.]

hmm.... dont sleep, thats what girls do!

[ILLunatic]

Vocab was nice, wordplay was good. Flow was in tact. And the imagery was pretty nice. Interesting read as well, but there were a few parts I wasn't really feeling.. but it was a good drop.

Wishing & hoping some ones joking around
Cos your minds-eye implies its too Profound
Confounded & confused, sweat pours, not amused…
…By the thought that the afterlife can walk & cruise…
…Among us as they choose, roaming the plains
Like lost entities or sentries guarding their remains

That was one of the parts that I liked in this piece.

Hit this up would you. I push drugs for love

[ILLunatic]

Oh... and I fixed your typo on the title

[Freeman]

Imagery was the strong point of this piece.

In my opinion, you spoiled this with far too high of a vocabulary, some is iight, but that much isnt needed really, mate.

Other than that small criticism, nothing wrong with this piece.

Flow was good, imagery was the best, yeah, good all round piece.

Hit my 'Cut' piece up, please, thanks.

Stay up, peace.

[Topic]

wow...nice twist....good imaginary...Liked the story telling...like I was actully there. Descriptions were really good. Flowed decently and vocab was alright. Keep it up man...your the kind of people i want to collab with

[GFunk]

this was real nice... vocabulary was sick, your rhyme scheme was real tyte with the use of internals to change up the flow, flow was consistent, real nice.. you told the story well, and really a picture was drawn by the description that you had inside your verse..

tyte drop man....

yo, return the favor and check out "Chapter 1 - The UnLit Candle" pls...

[PHILOSOPHER]

Imagery, Vocabulary Flow, all great and consistent keep it up

[STAT$]

NIce drop great job put a vivid picture in my head........good shit!!!!!!

[Split]

nice imagery, good flow, everything was nice, twist at the end was sick too