Elmer's Glued Arts and Crafts

[Brother Blue Collar]

got sum shit to say bout my life and the glue
that holds 2gether my hopes, ma fam, the cru
my girl,the rap game, and my life's disstress
alleviated thanks to the very best
of today's ghostwriters, and best lyricistses
ya see my life was constructed to express
whether a story, or verse to help digest
reasons for my mother's cardiac arrest
the same damn reasons for ma worst and ma best
my arduous tasks, hardships and ma tests
cuz when the worst comes to worst to terrible
i see with the optics of bass and treble
a sight for sound's sore eyes to hip hop's nimble
can't understand this then let me be simple
hip hop and writing is the glue of ma mental

[2hot2handle]

too short. better vocab. instead of ending with mental, use the word material. wouldsound better. dont make sense. spell better. better structure. good topic though. you have to do better. keep at it though.

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[Brother Blue Collar]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=130759
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=127183

[..IllThoughtZ..]

dis was a good concept jus didnt come across good...needed structure..flow was a bit choppy...vocab was lackin..imagery...but it did make sense though i undastood what u were trying to say...overall elevate
hit dis up dawg
http://rapbattles.com/forum/forumdis...daysprune=&f=5

[CaliCollegeGurl]

This flow would be way tight if it had been edited. It's like a fix-er-upper in my opinion. Nobody can say that that line about needing a verse to help you digest your mother's cardiac arrest wasn't tight as hell. The spelling needs improvement, but that's obvious and probably doesn't attest to your abilities as an artist. (ie There are doctors who can't spell) I agree though that mental is not the best way to have ended that. Overall good ideas that could have been better expressed.

One Luv.