Born to Kill vs. Dev (Topical)

[Born To Kill]

He PM'd me for a topical battle...

We agreed on...

Face of an Angel/Breath of the Devil

As our topic...

G'Luck.


Face of an Angel/Breath of the Devil…

The scene was serene that evening, so I chilled…
Smoked a fat blunt, downed a 40 up front, with pills.
Judgment slurred and vision blurred, well received…
Because I like this state, so much more than reality.
Good times have their drawbacks, and mine weren’t spared…
When I found out on my porch, that I started to care.
About the girl across the street, the blonde with blue eyes…
Who sits alone outside like me, but silently cries.
I see the car pull up, and whisk her away in the night…
And I see her return cuz I’m still here when dawn breaks light.
I have no life, so I walk over, like I’ve never done before…
And without a knock, I open and enter her front door.
I startle her in the kitchen, and I apologize for this…
“I figured out I cared, about why you cry at night, Miss”
She hesitantly pours her coffee, in a # 1 Mom mug…
Disturbed by my presence, but her soul’s been needing a hug.
I deny the offer of beverage, and sit without being asked…
Then motion for her to sit as well, and tell me about her past.
Slowly she slinks into sitting, the tiny dining room fills…
With tense anticipation of the beans about to spill.
She let’s me know her story, divorce, then loss of child…
And visitation’s very strict, only sees her once in a while.
”I wasn’t always a good mom, I did drugs and drank…
So my husband took my baby, and I’ve only myself to thank.”
With that she begins to cry again, and beckons for comfort…
So I bring her to my chest, but can’t resist the urge to smother.
With pain in my heart, and anguish in my soul…
I seize the situation, and violently take control.
Hold her with such closeness, not even air comes between us…
And as I end her suffering, I consider myself ingenious.
For I fulfilled both our needs, two birds with one stone…
By ending all of her agony, she’s now left me alone.
I don’t wanna care, I like the lonely life of my porch…
And for that girl with blonde hair, I’d have always carried a torch.
So in doing what I did, I did us both a favor…
But said goodbye to Heaven, when I became her angel.

[Endeva.]

damn.... didnt think we were gonna post til friday, oh well, ill get mine written today, post my the deadline..., ill edit in here, safe clogging the thread....

[Endeva.]

The splendour of her slender body, rendered a chill
She turned men to contenders, and time to stand still
They yearned for her touch, it’s softer than a dove’s quill
Climbing hills and mountains for her fountain of beauty
With fixated frozen eyes men saw it as their duty
She was a cutie with phenotype, but darkness loomed
She bloomed like a rose, but her genotype doomed
A typhoon in the chapters, only her cover was groomed
She was perfumed with laughter, but beholding disaster
But nobody knew, cos no one thought to ask her
Cos she had mastered the art of flirtation’s technique
She could seduce in her sleep without having to speak
A flick of the eyelids, a pout of her lips could freak…
A man out, but after a week, her light would change
From Dusk Til Dawn, she ranged like the films title name
But who’s to blame? Its blinkered vision that devised
Cos all men are the same with tits n ass, in their eyes
Its jus her game was different, her face told the lies
Yes, she was wise, but laced with poison like a snake
Making guys quake, then taking them for what they make
Cos she was fake, not enhanced but pranced around
Could be a guest of Ricky Lake, but she never got found
Ended up a rich bitch, ditching men after their pounds
Then she went to ground a wealthy woman, the devil
Revelling in riches, from the men she’d embezzled...

[Born To Kill]

Nice work, man...

Let's see what they think.

Vote up!

Brownie points and mod favors to whoever votes, whichever way ya vote!
LOL!

Just drop ya thoughts.

Peace

[It]

man from the start i fell into b2k's story...
he had good story scheme...nice approach...
dev...reading yurs i kinda didnt connect wit it,
as i connected wit b2k's topic...both could of,
used the topic better i felt...but b2k had depth
and gave an overall better effort...dev u had,
shit well thought but lacked the power to grasp,
in audience...cuz u had nice vocab...but lacked,
an overall sense to pull in the reader...well thats,
how i felt...lets get some more feedback on this
but imma have to vote for b2k...i liked his...
hit my battles up with honest votes please...

[Jacent.]

Btk-Feeling the way you began your piece, your excellent at story telling but at times your rhyme scheme doesn't quite fit & some of the lines aren't worded good, still, you can captivate the reader with such devious storytelling

Dev-Rhyme scheme was rather ill at times but at some points it came choppy, your approach was hard to grasp during the first half but all came together in your last few lines,

I truly think BTK takes this but not by much, both pieces had a different approach & it was rather hard to choose which one was better, but BTK's story telling is just on another level

[Bigg E Z]

=/

This was a good battle..

Mainly becus at the start of your pieces, you both (imo) had fery similar concepts..

I kinda felt that BTK went off story slightly, but the end justifyed why i should vote for him..

..The begining if his piece didnt fit together for me, i dno why.. (Maybe cuz i did 2 much drugs as a child)

His piece was good, i liked it...

..Dev, My weird sounding accent mate, Dev..

What i said about the 'Face of an angel'/both of you talking about a woman in BTK's explenation was me briefly saying, You both could of started better..

..The beggining of your piece was like BTK's, Only it flowed better for me, Props

Another thing that made me favour yours was the length..

..Im not usualy closed minded like this, but today, i am

Not one of your best pieces Dev, but it did it for me..

Vote/Dev

[Born To Kill]

Dum dum da bump!

[Jonezy]

ok please make sure ya hit up one of my battles in my sig.


ok
Great topical battle by both, i enjoyed reading both verse thought u both kept to the topic well.

Btk

I liked your piece alot, out of the two, you brought to the topic better in my eyes, it was excellent the way it was told. Your rhyme scheme was alot decent, you had alot of great lines in the verse to keep it enjoyable, the middle was the best..closing lines didnt rhyme but came well. Structure here was great..overall very good piece

Dev

Ok your verse was also very good, and you told the story very well altho i thought b2k came a lil better..your rhyme techinique was brillaint in here, but at times your flow fell off which didnt help , but still it came well and i enjoyed readin it. Structure was also good here. and a very good piece also overall.


You both wrote well and props to both for the verses, but b2k took this in my eyes for the way he lead the story and also his flow was better, but it was a close battle.
v/ b2k

ill poll once i get 100, im on like 85 now....can ya make sure ya hit my battles up..

[Exculptifactoriusness]

Wow when i looked at the title, i thought that dev had a shoe in for a victory. i have never seen btk drop topical except for open mic...So i was surprized when he dropped somethingt hat was really really good. You really surprized me in this one.

I really liekd the topic in this battle because it is something that i would like to write on so i liked it alot. Btk was on the topic more but on the other hand dev came really could and also was on topic.

This was a very tough decsiuon, but i felt that btk had better vocab and better flow to his verse. Also, he connected with the topic better. Dev had better imagery but btk's verse was just ebtter.

V/Btk

For punches and personals...LOL!

[Born To Kill]

Uno mas, gatos...

[Richard Parker]

nice battle. i thought BTK would take this one upon reading his verse.. it was quite good. but, id say it was a close match. heres the breakdown:

story: born to kill .. his story was easily better, not that devs was bad, dev just wasnt going for a story per say, dev was going for the descriptions. BTK takes this.

flow: close, close. but dev was slightly better, he saturated his story with multies. in some places it hurt his story a bit, but most it flowed nicely and made sense. not forced. good job. also extremely descriptive.

dev takes this by just a bit. nice reads from both, but devs descriptiveness and way with words took this one.

both of you hit this up? http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/poll...s&pollid=21249

[Kon Quest]

Nice verses from both.....

Born had a very good verse. I could visualize everything he was talking about and his use of vocabulary was asounding. I liked how he used a broad range of vocab, from all those larger words, to the down to earth slang that is often used everyday. He found a healthy balance between the two and I think that is what won him this battle. I also liked the twist at the end.....

Dev's verse wasn't that bad either. He had some nice vocab and his story was OK, but I hated the structure. I just don't like when people rhyme three lines together, it throws off the flow and makes the verse less enjoyable......

Vote - Born To Kill
Return The Favor......
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=132201