User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Fast lanes prerequisites(short)

  1. June 2nd, 2004, 02:28 AM #1
    Stryk9
    Stryk9 is offline
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14

    Fast lanes prerequisites(short)

    Hyperactivity laughs in the face of calm
    Cyclones of want and needs in your features etched and drawn
    Time for self left in irons on deserted iles
    Compassion consumed in meters and miles
    Fraudulent half truths mock conscious certainties
    On the go food is consumed but the souls left starving
    Expectation of pre ordained spur of the moment choices
    Harbringers of emotional analysis speak in mute voices
    Hounds of hindsight chip away good intentions balustrades
    Ill gotten gains preach heavenly violence
    Deadly sins call as a chorus of sirens
    Oneness counts on 20 hands useless products
    Sobriety hides in a shield of narcotics

    left feedback-http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1443528#post1443528
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...33#post1443533

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. June 3rd, 2004, 01:14 AM #2
    Stryk9
    Stryk9 is offline
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14
    could i get some feedback or constructive criticism
    /

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. June 4th, 2004, 07:10 PM #3
    Stryk9
    Stryk9 is offline
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14
    common does anone have any feeback?

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. June 4th, 2004, 07:29 PM #4
    Mesmerize
    Mesmerize is offline
    Beautifully Decayed Mesmerize's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    40
    Posts
    786
    Battle Record
    3-0
    I really like this, even though it was short, you kept it interesting. Vocab was very good.....flowed smoothly....imagery and metaphors were also nice. Not anything that I can see thats wrong with it, wouldn't have mind to keep reading if it was longer. I liked how you wrote to this topic....creative.
    These are the parts I really liked.....
    "Hyperactivity laughs in the face of calm
    Cyclones of want and needs in your features etched and drawn"

    "Fraudulent half truths mock conscious certainties
    On the go food is consumed but the souls left starving"

    "Deadly sins call as a chorus of sirens"

    Actually I liked every line, so Im not going to copy n paste your whole poem

    Excellent Job
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. June 5th, 2004, 05:30 PM #5
    Stryk9
    Stryk9 is offline
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14
    thx for the feeback man drop a link on a poem a your ill chekc it out

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. June 8th, 2004, 07:16 PM #6
    Stryk9
    Stryk9 is offline
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14
    common dont sleep on this

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. June 18th, 2004, 02:43 PM #7
    Stryk9
    Stryk9 is offline
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14
    man this is getting slept on

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. June 18th, 2004, 04:12 PM #8
    Aargh Kelly
    Aargh Kelly is offline
    L^Music Aargh Kelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Age
    37
    Posts
    3,113
    Battle Record
    30-9
    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......
    oh yea now lets see
    actually it was good
    you had some vocab one i didn't know
    i wont tell u cause you prolly laugh

    but this was dope
    doper then dope
    but you already knew that

    props*
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. June 20th, 2004, 12:50 PM #9
    rule
    rule is offline
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ont.
    Age
    37
    Posts
    2,038
    Battle Record
    23-19
    pretty good...had a lot of meaning...if you looked at it from different stand points..it had a good sence of directikon that was easy to follow...if i were you i'd redo this and add on..because it is good so far...it can only get better

    peace
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. July 11th, 2004, 09:59 PM #10
    Stryk9
    Stryk9 is offline
    grimace Stryk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    37
    Posts
    6,289
    Battle Record
    17-14
    anyone else got any feedback

    leave links

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads

  1. I have to be fast.
    By chiboymax in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: April 12th, 2010, 08:16 PM
  2. I need HELP, FAST
    By Incineratedrose in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: September 9th, 2006, 12:08 AM
  3. I need some help..... FAST!
    By Hail the Vibe in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: January 29th, 2006, 02:20 AM
  4. Fab Speaks 'Changing Lanes,' Desert Storm vs G-Unit, & Working with B2K
    By tingley83 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: November 9th, 2004, 04:45 PM
  5. Changin Lanes (just quick drop)
    By True-Souldja in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: January 4th, 2004, 07:26 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules