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Thread: better dayz

  1. #1

    Post better dayz

    so many years of sad prayers
    n risin number of fake players
    dis place, where rich takes over everything
    blast it away cuz it doesnt mean nething
    thinkin, money is everythin but no
    u won b takin dat to heaven u kno

    wait a minute, i ain finished u retard
    listen up cuz these words might pierce ur heart

    i'd h8 2 c dis world last for anudah century
    hope it ends by 2010 january
    2 many thugs hangin wit wrong broez
    wat u need is a tight fresh hoe
    ha, jus laughin in pain
    jus smilin at acid rain

    wat happened to the world we used 2 luv
    so fuked up, no where safe but up above
    sumfing betta change to change the way i think
    pink ocean, green sky n mor winks
    hopefully more prayers will b heard
    n dis world wil b full of singin birds

    il live on thinkin of betta dayz
    n wait till i c those better wayz

  2. #2
    Telekinetic's Avatar
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    Leave two links or this will be closed.

    Also you should try using the kings English and not eye torturing garbage.
    Ex. “i'd h8 2 c dis”
    People that do that barely have enough mental capacity to tie their own shoe laces
    Those that do should tie a slip knot an hang themselves with them.
    But have a nice day

  3. #3
    RealiM
    Guest
    just not feeling it..
    as tele said.. use proper english... and maybe get some sort of flow going and originalety..
    i rate it about a 4/10, for a ghastly use of english and the fact that im not feeling it...

  4. #4
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    this is the second peice in a row ive read that i thought was 'garbage'... slang aint no good in writtens, it makes you look dumb... aside from that the actual content lacked, some of what you said i could relate to, but your execution, well, work on it....
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Miss_Jess's Avatar
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    The concept is good, but it was extremly annoying that i had to read it 2 times to really get what you were sayin', you better just write it in English if you rewrite it, show it to me and i might give ya some real feedback

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  6. #6
    Banned
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    Closed, 1 Open Mic Every 24 Hours.

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