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Thread: Governed by Shadows

  1. #1
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Governed by Shadows

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...9&postcount=12
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...4&postcount=14



    ~Governed By Shadows~


    Can you even see from my level? Distorted views beneath a worlds rubble
    Rebels roam vast wastelands of a high-tech societies crumbled remnants
    Fumbled politics elude R moral compass, hence anxieties double penance
    Pompous figures slander he w/grounded center, elitists' in full splendor?
    Rendered visions spark social givens like elusive members of skull N bones
    A Clandestine branch sway's in the shadows of three flimsily rooted twigs
    Majestic tops peek at full bloom yet quiver as false flocks seek out R doom
    Presume danger looms in dark of mental gloom under rein of sadistic goon
    A party that bathes under the Damascus moon begs 4 mushroom plumes
    Inciting terror ignites preemptive measures impacting every fabric of life
    Defense mechanisms engage in this battle torn night, rage erased all lines
    Between what's wrong & what's right, deprived of sight is mans only plight
    Will he soon see the Devine path set before him and shown in radiant light?

    Governed by he who walks N the shadow of night, cloaked in secrecy yet
    A presence brilliantly Drenched in folklore, passed off as political hype...


    Shadows cast shrouds over informative might, blankets' population despite
    The Intel it cites, true agendas at war broadcasting from towering heights
    Contrite whoas echoed from polite foes, suppose a new truth's exposed
    Would our HOUSE fold under weight of untolds'...? Values erode in a Flash
    News splash!!! Administrations dark past sync'd up in digital frames hashed
    Together, explained only by partisan gains, campaigns trained to drain all
    Remains of HIS Devine reign, pains me to watch such biased exchange
    Deranged policies practiced by the estranged leaders of world sovernginty
    Translation: Government free from external control- Does this really show?
    In societies Governed by Shadows Truth is... We may never know...

    Covert warriors with secret orders slip thru boarders behind closed quarters
    Gather Intel in violation of major sanctions w/a close eye on hostile nations
    Radical organizations depend on state representation thorough examinations
    Proves positive collaborations were whispered aspirations for mushroom skies
    Shadow tactics defy all conventional cries untold truths and systematic lies
    Interception of signals w/gizmos designed to be mounted on gimbals aligned
    On refined tiers that can clearly see thru dense cover w/auto focus imagery
    From high in the sky perched w/a birds eye view system set to search mode
    Unmanned aerial drones head home target acquired impact backed by hellfire
    High tech assasinations now carried out under a cover of stealth penetration
    Hints of espionage in open dialogue an industry sabotaged by societal flaws
    Heed the writings on the wall radical attack hounds often overstep bounds
    Ignorance astounds my light browns, when their arrogant frowns cast down
    On the people’s majority, further inspection detects lies in pseudo news story

    Governed by he who walks N the shadow of night, cloaked in secrecy yet
    A presence brilliantly Drenched in folklore, passed off as political hype...


    Strategic assaults launched in multiple mediums Question Who's feeding them
    With wars fought in the shadow realms head figures are found at the helms
    From Crowned rulers to world leaders... The Sheiks, Sultans and land owners
    Prime ministers & those elected sinister administer a skewed form of morality
    Brutality based tactics shielded from reality, in actuality shadows DO exist
    Resist conventional trains of thought, normality will never expose such a plot
    In others words think outside the 'box', transmitted illness often kills da flock
    In the age of Misinformation, communications lost, lip movements squashed!
    At what cost do we combat this loss? A fine 'tuned' price tag already bought
    Sits atop our watch, building an army of set-top soldiers, while war is fought
    The battle rages on blink and the image's gone! Can you not see the pawns?
    We're societal puppets, our masses strung by the few, mislead and confused
    Yet we refuse anything but the News as reported by the channel we choose
    Ignorant to both views, in a world Governed by Shadows we all tend to lose...






    To be continued...
    Last edited by Bounce; July 19th, 2004 at 04:07 PM

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  2. #2
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    seems more like a short story..
    sort of hard to tell where each line stops


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  3. #3
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Not even close to what a short story by me would look like. I figured the complexity of a methaphoric type drop would get slept on in here. It's something I'm working on with my band, we have two parts down of a three part drop. I have to finish writitng the lyrics for the third part, just figured I'd post to get some feed back. The lines are written like that on purpose, it's a delivery technique, helps to keep fluidness in the flow (when performed, not read).

    thanks for the feed,

    Don't Sleep, if you don't understand, ask, I'll explain...

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  4. #4
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    up...

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  5. #5
    class of '03 Wakiyan's Avatar
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    Wow.

    Dope drop. I'm impressed because this is more of the style I like and your thought expression is something else. It's just profoundly beautiful. The flow, structure, extensive vocab you got all the bases covered. I feel kind of foolish attempting to critique this cause I feel you put this together nicely. One of the best open mics I've read if not the best. It's definitely way above average. Keep dropping this forum needs pieces such as this. 10/10

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by ILLunatic
    seems more like a short story..
    sort of hard to tell where each line stops
    and yet you mod the OM section.ROFL!!!

    This was very very well written.
    Bounce,You are perfectly right about your comments.
    Few pieces on this site that gets heavily slept on this site are just way too complicated for an average "I write my emotions so that makes me a writer"
    and "I bust caps on ya'll,So I'm a Net-Thug"
    This was very complex and easy to read and follow.
    But,It's sad when you have to explain to the reader,
    What you have written,Soley because of thier stupidity.


    Boo``Ya``

  7. #7
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakiyan
    Wow.

    Dope drop. I'm impressed because this is more of the style I like and your thought expression is something else. It's just profoundly beautiful. The flow, structure, extensive vocab you got all the bases covered. I feel kind of foolish attempting to critique this cause I feel you put this together nicely. One of the best open mics I've read if not the best. It's definitely way above average. Keep dropping this forum needs pieces such as this. 10/10
    Thanks for the feedback Wakiyan, I'm glad you enjoyed the read and I appreciate you taking the time to respond. This particular drop is by no means anywhere near my normal level of writting. I actually toned this down a bunch, I usaly drop way more complex, but like I said, it's for the band, so I had to tone it down some. I rarely post any of my work and never in the OM section (OK well twice before), but becuase I feel OM needs more varitety I will make an effort to post in here. Again thanks for the reply, it's appreciated...



    Quote Originally Posted by Paperback
    and yet you mod the OM section.ROFL!!!

    This was very very well written.
    Bounce,You are perfectly right about your comments.
    Few pieces on this site that gets heavily slept on this site are just way too complicated for an average "I write my emotions so that makes me a writer"
    and "I bust caps on ya'll,So I'm a Net-Thug"
    This was very complex and easy to read and follow.
    But,It's sad when you have to explain to the reader,
    What you have written,Soley because of thier stupidity.


    Boo``Ya``
    Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a response. My comments were more just an explanation as to why I don't post in OM, but things are changing and I think I will make a point to post in here. I look forward to increased activity in this forum, hope to read your responses on my future drops.

    Thanks to all...

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  8. #8
    Killa Feaster
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    man i picked up on ya flow...i can see it...its like a gift....ya ish was a lil wordy for me in some parts...but it all made sense ya digg...

    the scheme itself is a depiction of the darkside of self....all together yes it did seem like a short story...but with flowness...fashigido with that


    igido
    Wit.

  9. #9
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    ^
    Thanks for taking the time, and yeah I get wordy at times, but I thought I really toned it down in this piece, glad you can make sense of it, as that is my main focus.
    It's more of a poltical piece than anything else, I'm still building up to the main concept, that of shadow governments, but that's going to be the focus of the second half of this drop...

    By the way, WTF is fashigido? or igido? I was like what? When I read that.

    Thanks...

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  10. #10
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    a very nice extensive use of vocab with this one bounce but I was havin a lil trouble tryin to find the flow with this one myself but that vary's with the reader and I know this would sound alot better as an audio rather then to just be read. but again nice vocab and decently good use of wordplay, I like it when ppl write complex shit like this cuz it gets you thinkin about stuff rather then shootin guns and bangin chicks cuz that's what most the mainstream rap seems to revolve around nowadays. nice piece bro. keep droppin peace.

    if you got the time man peep my piece called "Poet of New" and drop some feed. thanx in advance.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

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    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

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    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  12. #12
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Thanks for the reply it's been a while since I seen you post, I'll try to get a decent reply on your OM as soon as I get a chance. Sorry you could not see the flow, it's there but it's not in a simple ab format.

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  13. #13
    King of Iron Fist! sabotage's Avatar
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    Yo this was a wicked good read. I really enjoyed this one. You have great diction and a very Abstract Calibre to you! I quite enjoyed your wordplay and imagery. You seemed as though you were doing conscious stream of thought for some of this. It was impecable. You had such a grand barrage of words thrown at the reader. It almost seemed like you just used all your favourite words in one masterpiece of political philophisizing. good stuff man i quite enjoyed... keep it up!

  14. #14
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    ^ Thanks 'tage I'm glad you liked it... Great reply, it's nice to read when someone get's the nature and focus of the piece. Wordy, not really as this is REALLY toned down from my usualy wordiness...

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  15. #15
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
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    Nice drop...Very nice vocab and metaphors....Some lines did seem a little long to me, but I caught onto it....Nice insight into the subject and intro...Ill check out the second half when you post it...I think this is the first piece Ive seen form you, good job...You had some decent imagery and emotion, the reader got a sense of how you feel about the topic, which is always nice....A good read...nice piece....keep at it...

    Check out one of my OM's in my sig if you get a chance...thanx...peace

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