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Thread: ILLunatic and Formula - CBS News Special Report

  1. #1
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    ILLunatic and Formula - CBS News Special Report

    ILLunatic
    ~
    FormulaMC
    ~
    Reporter

    Your honor. I did it in rage, yes it was intentional
    I'm homophobic, and got grabbed by a homosexual
    What was I sappose to do? look at him and wink?
    Fuck that, I beat his ass, before I could think
    Threw the first punch, and then couldn't quit
    I wanted him to bleed eternally...
    ....so he could see it in his own shit
    I was so lit, I couldn't control my own actions
    I was fatal to society, with no distractions
    As the officer grabbed my arm, I kept swingin
    As he spun me around, his life was ringin
    I knock his clock, and slaughtered him
    His back up showed up, and I slaughted them
    And then finally, they all started to retreat
    They all tackled me, to get me off my feet
    Officers put me in cuffs, as I struggled
    I yelled "let go of me" as the cuffs buckled
    Officer said, it'd be better for me if I cooperated
    He said, because refusing arrest is not tolerated
    And I spit in his face, so he hauled me in for booking
    But before that, he had to see how the homo was looking
    "Enough Plaintiff I have decided the verdict"
    "Guilty and sentenced to life".....
    ....and i could hear my mother crying when she heard it
    Because her baby boy was sentenced to life
    She was upset, and dissappointed with pitty and strife


    I`m a little cold in here, but I smell fear
    They Afraid of a murderer..
    ... And I`m scared of the tears
    Instead of years for I crime I didn`t commit
    Crooked cops faked legit and have me waiting for six
    Tonight, the saying is coming to fruition
    I`ll meet my maker and leave the family missing
    Me, as an individual, I`m flabbergasted
    So this story makes my side get attraction
    See, it was a stormy night, tire went flat
    Found myself w/out a jack , Needed some shelter stat
    So I apporached a house, knocked on the door of hollow
    Waited for only minutes but it felt like tomorrow
    When this man clammered to the screen, answered my pleas
    Let me in for some heat
    As my temperature soared well past a hundred degrees
    Weak in the knees, knelt down by the fire
    Felt two barrels in my back, head poured prespire
    "Give me the gun on your hip boy, or your back is gone!"
    Fuck, how could I forgot to take the holster off that the burner`s on?
    This man didn`t understand my life on the streets
    Everyday a constant struggle always in a fight to eat
    I had to knife him see, to get the shotty off my spine
    Sliced his ankle, he fell, and I pulled out the nine
    It won`t mine, borrowed it from my brother long ago
    And yeah I aimed it but w/ no intention of pulling the trigger yo`
    Caught me w/ a sweep kick, then this hick decided to wrestle
    Both hands on the gun, a shot fired piercing his hearts vessel
    So now, I`m on top of some guy who`s dead on the scene
    But murder was the case that they gave me...
    ... Based on discoveries from the Forensics team
    I feel like Shyne, Innocent, but w/ a guilty verdict
    Mom`s cried... Both of her babies locked up...
    Life for him and heaven for me, her life`s worsened
    Shit.. it`s 5:15, and I been on the row looking at death
    Trynig to run but even my small steps cause me to lose breath
    And i`ll never lose stress, at best, i`ll die without rest
    I said to my mom, "Ya son`s going, but staying in spirit.."
    "... And I`ve recorded a few songs, my voice, you`ll always hear it."
    Shit, I hear the footsteps, it`s time for the wrongful execution
    Man, don`t believe the lies, on my word, I did no fucking shooting


    Dan Rather here, from CBS News, and what you just heard was the last audio tape of the two men now known as the "Doughpill" Brothers". DNA tests have proven that these two men, who had no prior knowledge of relation, are indeed brothers. I for one find this tape incredible in a sense that, these two men told their stories of leaving their families and having a brother in jail facing the opposite charge, without knowing they were actually looking each other in the face. They only knew of the charges the other family member faced through their mother, who was the reason for the DNA testing. This has been Dan Rather reporting, from the CBS News headquarters in Washington.


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  2. #2
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    damn that was a hot collab... each piece broke off perfectly of the next....

    the flow, wordplay was all there in all pieces...they both completed the topic perfectly..the content was great...but i mostly loved like i said ur FLOW and wordplay...

    topic was cool 2


    this piece will get more hot comments..cuz it was def. dope

    good drop

    pec
    Last edited by R. Frost; May 1st, 2004 at 10:05 PM

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    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Upping for more feedback


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  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Figure's Avatar
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    Wow man, youre imagery did it for me period, and youre content and wordplay just topped it off. A really nice collabo, and props for imagination, aswell as talent in gettin this through, on both counts. The reporter was a nice finishing touch in my opinion.
    "What was I sappose to do? look at him and wink?
    Fuck that, I beat his ass, before I could think"
    ^^ fave line of ILLs. flowed real nicely

    "This man didn`t understand my life on the streets
    Everyday a constant struggle always in a fight to eat
    I had to knife him see, to get the shotty off my spine
    Sliced his ankle, he fell, and I pulled out the nine"
    ^^ gave me mad images man.. very nice

    Good job on both

  6. #6
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Thanks... uppin for more feedback

    Me and formula enjoyed doing this
    is was quite fun...
    ...gotta give him props for the idea


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  7. #7
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Ill- Good shit. Flow was really good. Decent imagery. You're one of the better storytellers on the site. Enjoyed the verse, homie.

    MC- Good storytelling as well. Nice emotion in it. Flow was a bit choppy at points. this was a decent read though.

    The news shit at the end was cool. It would have been so much iller though if that was a verse too. Anyway, overall this was a good collab. Keep up the good work, fellas.

    Please return the favor:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126850
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  8. #8
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by W1CKED
    Ill- Good shit. Flow was really good. Decent imagery. You're one of the better storytellers on the site. Enjoyed the verse, homie.
    Oh boy do i love the credit...

    Uppin for more feedback


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  9. #9
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    stories were well told - flow, etc was on point - you've already gotten the props, so I'll point out what I didn't like - both of you in places put in awkward wordings for the sake of rhyme - I really dislike seeing that - just take a few more minutes to find a way to say what you want so that it comes naturally, ie:

    "She was upset, and dissappointed with pitty and strife"
    Saying that someone was "upset with strife" makes no sense
    I really think it would be best here if you just used some other word besides "strife"
    and...
    "So I apporached a house, knocked on the door of hollow"
    obviously the natural thing to say is a "hollow door" - but that wouldn't rhyme - with just a little work though you could've fixed that, ie:
    I knocked on the door, the sound showed it was hollow - or something

    Nice work overall - just pointing out the few errors I saw - keep dropping - hit something in my sig if you can...

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    I'm dead.


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    Hence Forward

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    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Nice feedback..
    Uppin for more..


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  11. #11
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    this was tight... not legendary material but i think it'll make OM of the month. . .nice job. the second kids i had a hard time grasping what he did wrong, but ILL's it was much easier.. nice pieces from both.

  12. #12
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    Incredible imagery, the vivid description of the scene was on point and the unique story set up was intriguing and interesting. Both brothers stayed on topic and provided a great meal of food for thought, stunning, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  13. #13
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback everyone... much appreciated


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  14. #14
    class of '03 Wakiyan's Avatar
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    SMZ gave some good input on how to make your verses tighter. I agree with him. Both of you did aight with this one and the ending was a nice touch, it's creative. Sick storytelling.
    we are what we are, what we never think we are.

  15. #15
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Thanks..


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