User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: My Hidden Love...

  1. #1
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins

    My Hidden Love...

    It’s a played concept except im afraid its true
    This girl I know I love, but she don’t know I do
    To you, I can’t say, no way… her name is hidden
    Its forbidden cos she might see this, n think im kidding
    But im living in a day dream, her face the vision
    Her body and personality I wish would be given
    To me, you see her touch, her smile, is why im living
    And us kissing would make the past worthwhile
    Then all the pain wouldn’t be in vane, I’ve compiled
    It would make a mile out of a million, if she’s willing
    To take onboard this civilian… cos I long for her…
    Like water in a drought, no doubt… does she concur?
    I don’t know… but it’s about time I told the world
    Well not you, but she will soon have heard the words
    “I love you, so will you be my girl?”… you heard!
    Yes, that’s what ima say some day soon cos it hurts…
    Deep down, underground in my heart, I nurse
    These feelings, like a curse, I find it hard breathing
    And im tired of deceiving… and what’s the reason?
    Cos im scared she don’t feel the same... that’s unpleasing
    It would be like a lesion straight thru my chest
    That’s why I try to impress… each day and the next
    But now ive got nothing left to lose… its time to say
    So tomorrow ill announce it… yes, ill be brave
    Cos im losin my mind in a maze… its killing me
    So I’ll utter the words… “you’re my darling, will it be”




    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=124195
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  2. #2
    ToTheTop Steven William's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Age
    33
    Posts
    3,963
    Battle Record
    24-7
    I can relate...is this what you were workign on Dev?
    anyway I liked the topic I jsut did sometihng similar...
    good desciption and imagery was nice..vocab wus
    inputted where it was needed...not too much negative
    it flowed wasnt stretched...actually this was Flawless...
    10/10 I'm nominating for OM of the month...

    Peep my new drop...Opposites Attract...
    I myself think its Om of the^month material
    Last edited by Steven William; April 23rd, 2004 at 06:25 PM
    ScytsoPhrenia
    CrazyDope

    Put down the pebbles in my hand, climbed a ladder, put a brick right through your window.
    "You're gonna hear me out." Yeah, hear me out on this!

  3. #3
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    thnx man.. i jus did hit yours, we must have done them at the same time...lol jinx
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  4. #4
    ToTheTop Steven William's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Age
    33
    Posts
    3,963
    Battle Record
    24-7
    I had a feelin that wus happening as I posted that up there...
    Nominate me ...Lol i gtg for lil while did u make the battle thread in elevated?
    ScytsoPhrenia
    CrazyDope

    Put down the pebbles in my hand, climbed a ladder, put a brick right through your window.
    "You're gonna hear me out." Yeah, hear me out on this!

  5. #5
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    lolz.. i thought you were making it
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  6. #6
    Free, As A Bird
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    GB
    Age
    38
    Posts
    6,937
    Lemmie guess...Shes a teacher in your college..?? lol

    Anyway, Nice piece...

    You have one of the best rhyme schemes i know of...

    You kept it quite simple in this one, But kept it complex, with ur scheme..

    Ur vocab was average...(wich was good)

    And your complexity was normal Dev style..

    Personaly...I dont see why some1 nominated this mor OM of the month, And not nominate your other one...

    Could it be the poor runing of OM...??

    I think so...!!

    Dope piece man...Hope it wont get slept on..!!
    ArcBiggEZ

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  7. #7
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    more sleeping ay..... c'mon peeps
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  8. #8
    Free, As A Bird
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    GB
    Age
    38
    Posts
    6,937
    This is redicilous....

    FEEEEEEEEEEED....!
    ArcBiggEZ

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  9. #9
    literally fck ur own face Wise Ways's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Portland, Or.
    Posts
    3,661
    Battle Record
    34-4
    Awards 25+ Wins
    It would be like a lesion straight thru my chest
    That’s why I try to impress… each day and the next
    But now ive got nothing left to lose… its time to say
    So tomorrow ill announce it… yes, ill be brave
    Cos im losin my mind in a maze… its killing me
    So I’ll utter the words… “you’re my darling, will it be”

    ^dope

    The flow was really good in this.
    Very well done piece, vocabulary was nice too.
    Transitions were on point.
    And emotion was very good aswell.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    WhatThatLookLike..?!

  10. #10
    Soft Focus
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Aussie Hip Hop
    Posts
    1,854
    Battle Record
    23-10
    The flow was allright throughout this peice, u used a simple rymescheme which was effective, u had strong emotion throughout it as well, nice effort, I also can realate, But more often or not these situations turn into disarster haa good luck

    Can u pls hit up the open mic in my sig pls??

    Cheers
    Soft Focus



    ...The Return Of The Legends...

  11. #11
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    ill hit it up... no prob's
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  12. #12
    Pot 'Ed pot1ent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    England
    Posts
    1,016
    Battle Record
    16-25
    Dev, To me your flow has improved from the last piece i read, the lyrical skills didn't really impress me to to much. the piece as a whole did though, the emotional perspective was also impressive. You have my respect, keep doing your thing breh
    Pot` Ed.

    I dropped to show RM what hot was;
    And this faggot got Butterflies in his stomach the size of Mothra

    Your text is just another weak display
    One fist to your eye'll make it go through that black album remix phase. - Saviour Arraign

    <center>The Faculty</center>

  13. #13
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    yeah thnx pot'... appreciated...
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

Similar Threads

  1. ''Hidden Gems''
    By .Troopah. in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: March 13th, 2009, 10:29 AM
  2. Hidden Talent's
    By Soule in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 1437
    Last Post: July 15th, 2006, 09:18 PM
  3. A hidden knowledge
    By djb in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: February 3rd, 2005, 06:25 AM
  4. Hidden Talent
    By J Spark in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: December 14th, 2004, 11:53 AM
  5. Hidden Within
    By Foreshadow in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: August 9th, 2004, 07:12 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •